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I don't remember the last time I stayed up till 4:30 a.m.! Incredible weekend with lots to share, including some kinky (yet harmless!) fun bar stuff and a virgin bikini wax (not me). Oh, and lots of wonderful tips and information from some incredible professionals in the world of publishing and writing!

Stories and photos to come.

I'm inspired!

Weekend

Not around right now as I'm attending this event.

Have a great weekend everybody!
MM

Husband Said

"I don't want to jinx it but I've lost about six pounds."

Wife glares at him, wanting to kick his ass once again.

Story of my life here folks.

Sunday, Sunday...

Well, it's a Sunday morning, bright and shiny, and my head is NOT stuck in a toilet bowl! Joy, oh joy! I think I've found the perfect way to drink on the weekend as I was out on both Friday and Saturday nights drinking, and hardly a smidgen of a hangover... or maybe, I've reached professional status?

Anyway, Friday night was, in order:
1 frozen margarita
1 caramel appletini
1 glass of white wine
1 very large draft Blue Moon complete with squishy orange slice
1 Malibu Rum and Diet Coke complete with squishy lemon (you can't tell me I didn't get my five-a-day fruits in --hell, in drinks alone I had lime, apple, grapes, oranges and lemons! Ha.

Last night was a little more, and I'll try to put the list in order:
2 of my recipe frozen margaritas (I'll post the recipe in comments if you want it, but if you've been a MM reader since the get-go, it's in the archives around last year's Cinco De Mayo).
1 Thinmintini, complete with a chocolate licorce stick tied in a knot (nice touch)
1 Glass of wine
1 Malibu Rum and Diet Coke with lemon.

So, I have found the trick for me... DON'T STICK TO ONE THING; Mix it up! Maybe it confuses the system, or maybe it's all the fruit and fru-fru in each of my cocktails.

For those of you who asked, I no longer want to kick hubby's ass. And there really wasn't a legitimate reason, other than strong PMS symptoms and he was egging me on at the wrong time. See, I am like a little sister to him (except for the fooling around and making out parts, and having children together!) and he is a big teaser, and has been likened to Will Farrell at times, which makes me cringe, but that's besides the point. Anyway, sometimes he just takes his antics too far with me, and sometimes when I'm not in the mood to laugh at his amusing demeanor, I would rather kick him in the ass. So, sorry to disappoint, but my annoyance with him wasn't all that dramatic as some would like to think. He was just bugging the hell out of me that particular day. But I like him today. He's not here. HHAHAHAHAH, just kidding--well, not really, he isn't here--He took the kids to the park.

And, speaking of kids, Darling Diva hath lost that dangling top tooth of hers that has been bleeding off and on for countless weeks. Did any of you see Nanny McPhee--very cute movie--anyway, she's the mystical Nanny from the movie with a major snaggletooth hanging over her bottom lip. Let's just say Diva did a mean impression of Nanny McPhee while that tooth was still stuck in her head.

Yesterday, the phone rang, and I didn't recognize the number (sorry to report it was not an agent begging for the rights to sell my book, but there are a couple out there who have made some great suggestions and I am working on the rewrite and plan on resubmitting my manuscript to them --this comment is just in case any of them are reading my blog, and also, really, I'm not a drunk, and have another novel halfway completed too, so call me!)... Anyway, I answered the call I didn't recognize and it was my mom.

"Where are you calling me from?" I asked.

"MY Cell phone!" She yelled back to me.

"YOU GOT A CELL PHONE?" I screamed, thrilled.

"Yes!"

"Welcome to the 1990s a decade and a half late mom!"

Then she was talking to me and driving and she kept having to say hang on, and she put the phone down and I waited as she would turn a corner or something. I think she needs to take a class on cell phone usage while maneuvering a vehicle, but she'll get the hang of it soon. We all do, don't we?

Anyway, that's a short little update, and now since it's quiet here, I may just go back to a little more rewriting...

Hope you all had a great weekend--would love to know what's up in your lives!

Manic

UGH!!!

I so want to kick my husband's ass right now, right after I beat the shit out of my computer with my kid's baseball bat--could it go any slower? I've taken a Xanax; somebody put me out of my misery.

Weird thing about me #2 (if you missed #1, it's in the previous post):
Before I met the husband who's ass I feel like kicking right now, I had NEVER, and I mean EVER, not even an Olive Garden, or a burrito place (aside from Taco Bell) ... I had never eaten at a Mexican, Chinese or Italian restaurant in my entire previous-before-I-met-husband life.

Can you believe it?

What did I eat, you ask? I guess I lived off of pizza, burgers and fries. And I wonder why Diva has an eating disorder?

Okay, deep breath, some Ohm breathing... and I'm ready for bed. I have been staying up far too late these past nights. I just realized I never blogged about my birthday (I did not want to kick husband's ass over that one because he did come home from work early, get me a dozen roses, treated me to a spa day and then a great dinner out... so there was no ass-kicking going on over the weekend.

The house is a mess. Wanna know why? Because every freaking day when the kids get home from school, I take them on a bike ride, or we go to the park, or we go out for pizza, or we set up the sprinkler outside and have about 12 neighbor kids over and I'll make popcorn and they'll play and I'll watch them play. The house is a mess, but who cares, because they are having fun, and Manic Mom is all about the fun.

OKay, I've lost it. And this is a total PMSing feeling crappy post, but who cares, I'm going to post it and not even read over it before I do so.

Can't wait till tomorrow at 6:45 p.m. where I'll be outside at a bar sipping on the first of probably many appletinis...

PS--Oh, if you are an Emily Giffin fan, leave me a comment if you want to be part of a special contest/drawing to win something Emily-Giffin related that I personally am in the possession of.

Oh, and one more thing--I totally just had the urge to eat a whole bag of potato chips in my bed.

Hope you have fun weekend plans! xoxo

Tagged and Completely Stumped!

Fellow-Gal-Pal Blogger Bobita has tagged me, and while I love a good tag, this one totally has stumped me!

I'm just not weird enough. I don't think so anyway. And what I have thought of as being weird in my life, I've already sent those traits in on an anonymous postcard to PostSecret, and no, I've never urinated on a roommate's McDonald's uniform. Sorry to disappoint.

So, anyway, this tag is about confessing six weird things about myself. Can you guys guess or make up six weird things you think I might have done in my life, or would like to do? And please, no farm animals, okay?

Sorry I haven't been blogging much, but here's a haikku to let you know why:

Rewrite, write, rewrite,
Novel, refreshed, rebirthing
It will live someday

Would love you to send me a haikku on any subject you like!

Ooh, childhood memory weird thing just popped into my head. My favorite song in fifth grade was The Rose by Bette Midler. I had a Barbie record player and the 45 record of the song (some of you may not even know what a record album is!) Anyway, I would go into my room, play the record, and belt out the words to the song like it was my last dying breath. I would be one with the song. I would become Bette. I would breathe in her songness, and sing her beautiful song.

I sucked.

I love whenever I hear that song on the radio. The memories inside unleash, and I am 10 again, singing like I was made to sing for all to hear.

Tell me something about you. Pretty please.

Holmes and Cruise: Great News Everybody!

It was announced today that Katie Holmes has given birth to her pillow, a 16-ounce beauty they are calling Boppy!

Boppy and Mommy are resting peacefully with duct tape over Mommy's mouth because she's still not allowed to speak.

In other news, Brooke Shields ALSO delivered today, giving birth to an actual Baby!

The big question on everybody's mind is: Which one of these mothers will need the antidepressants first?



Brooke?

Or Katie "head-case-brain-washed-by-a-couch-jumping-freak-of-a-man-who-can't-even-commit-to-marriage-and-won't-let-his-pregnant-alien-apprentice-soon-to-be-wife-whimper-during-labor" Holmes?

Hahahaha.

Things To Do Tomorrow:

Blog.

Feeling Less Alone

Hey, Lurkers and Regulars--thanks so much for sharing parts of your day with me from yesterday's post. Sometimes I feel as if I'm writing this just all for myself, and that gets pretty lonely, so I appreciate you all taking the time to share your days with me, and it made me happy that so much of what we do on a daily basis is similar, although not the not showering part, but I DID shower today, you'll all be thrilled to know!

Had an RWA meeting tonight. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's Romance Writers of America (I tried to come up with a cute acronym like Really Wanting Out! but there's an A instead of an O, so, so much for that!). Anyway, hi to Kathy Sullivan, and that stripper I met named Alexandra Stevenson... haha, inside joke to Sister Maryfrances (another inside joke!). And also, Deb Larson, who is also a new member, and who wrote Memories Trail.

It's a great group of some amazing women who are motivating me to keep on writing, writing, writing, oh, and rewriting, rewriting, and rewriting. I'm attending a conference in a couple weeks, and not only am I excited about getting together with a bunch of writers (do I sound like a nerd?), it's also TWO NIGHTS away. Not that I don't love and adore and completely miss my family, but it'll be a nice break.

And I'll be hanging out with some very cool women, including shacking with these two writer babes, Trish and Jess. I am hoping not to get so overly excited and drink too much that I end up spending the whole night next to the Porcelain God. So girls, keep an eye on this old lady, will ya? And what are you both wearing?

Speaking of old, yep, that's me, in about a day and a half. I will be 37. Feeling kind of old, but I don't think that number bothers me as much as the 6s always did. Six is just over the hump of the halfway decade mark; seven is still three years from 40. I have lots of good things planned for myself. Hey, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, and if that means booking your own treatments at the spa, then hey, like I said, "I'm just a girl who's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!"

Must say thanks so much to Brenda Scott Royce, who sent me an AWESOME prize all for just signing up on her web site. I received an autographed copy of her debut novel, Monkey Love, a $20 Starbucks card (only $14-something left--Brenda--thanks for the grandevanillalightfrapnowhip and yummy spring flower cookie--awesome dinner!)

Brenda also sent me this very, very cute tote bag, and it's got an adorable monkey on it, which I carried around all night tonight, and if I wasn't so tired, I'd take a picture of it and post it here. Oh, and the gift package included a monkey pin, and a very large chocolate and pecan candy bar, which at first I figured I'd have to share with Diva, but then when I realized it had pecans in it, there's NO way she'd want it. Can't wait to read the book, and I'm sure it will be lots of fun, with some monkey puns and Starbucks references, so go out and buy it if you're looking for a good read!

And for those wondering, Diva's tooth has not fallen out, but we had a pretty bloody scene this a.m. which caused Tukey to yell, "I have to Frow UP!" Then he went into the bathroom and puked up his french toast sticks. And another puke session today when Tukey spotted a scrape on his knee while we were driving with five kids in the car, and again, he got so worked up, he yelled, "I have to Frow UP!" And he did. But fortunately, I am a professional vomit catcher, and emptied the wipee box at his first noticed, twisted my arm back to give it to him, where he did brilliantly puke into the wipee box, saving me from the disgusting job of cleaning up "Kraft Mac 'N' Cheese-not-digested-and-in-whole-pieces" puke from each crevass of my minivan.

It's those little things, I tell you. Those little things that make my life so complete.

Past my bedtime, although I did lay around all morning with a pillow over my head in bed with Tukey during the complete full viewing of Ice Age, and then a Dora episode, Wonder Pets, Backyardigans, and then Lazy Town... fitting show for my morning.

How are you doing? Would love to hear how your day was or is going, and can you make it into a haikku poem for me? Five syllables, seven, then five again. It would really make my day to read some haikkus from you. As I said in the beginning of the post, I don't want to feel like I'm all alone in this!

Cheers!

I DIDN'T...

~shower today
~feel like blogging
~put away the laundry
~diet all that much
~not feel productive
~take a nap, although I wanted one

I DID...
~fold some laundry
~go to yoga
~watch the neighbor's kids
~spend two bills at Target
~schedule some playdates
~made dinner that no one ate, and hubby didn't eat until seven-something o'clock
~edit some stuff I get paid for
~work on the rewrite of 40
~kiss my husband
~kiss my kids
~console Diva who is going through Pre-PMS I am sure of at age six

I WISH I...
~showered
~took a power walk
~put away the laundry
~hadn't painted the kids' bathroom Buzz Lightyear Green and Blue Man Group's Heads blue (will post a picture)
~could lose twelve pounds
~went to bed an hour ago

I WILL...
~shower tomorrow
~work on the rewrite of 40
~maybe get a coffee
~put away some laundry
~maybe take a nap
~go to my RWA meeting
~hope it sunshines
~celebrate 37 years on Friday

Answer these questions for me, because it's lonely without comments from you.
What didn't you do, what did you do, what will you do, what did you wish you had done...

Oops I Did It Again...

Another Sunday hangover and I'm wondering what is up with my intolerance? There are a few things I think I need to make some changes on, and heck, I don't even know what I am thinking of writing about right now...

I wish I took a picture of the handprints on the bathroom mirror though.

It was a pretty good night.

MM's Top Blogs

Check out Tommy. He's one-of-a-kind and really one of my favorite bloggers. Although Mickey drives me crazy, I check Thirty-something Baby Doc out every day.

Dream Husband

Where was HE when I was looking for Mr. Wonderful? Damn.

Thanks to my pal Gina for sharing this extremely odd and disgusting story with me.

I just want to see what the chick looked like. Heck, maybe she enjoyed being a sex slave.

At least she gets some sexy lingerie out of the deal.

Tonight

After dinner tonight, I had just an incredible urge to go out onto the porch with a pack of Capri Menthol Lights (do they still even make those?), scream my freaking head off, and smoke a cigarette. Also in this fantasy urge, I would have a glass of wine--white--even though I'm still reeling from Saturday night's escapades. And, my dearest and best and closest friends who know more about me than I even know about myself would ALL be sitting around me making me laugh, smoking with me, and getting a buzz while we looked up into the great big dark sky and wondered about everything.

I wish I could do exactly just that. It sure would make me feel a whole lot better.

My Quarterly Binge

This one's for Blair. Yep, a puke story. And if my calculations are correct, and if you delve into the archives of Manic Mommy, you'll see that I've kept up with my 6 - 8 week binges, and no, I'm not exactly proud of them, and the next day terribly sucks, but I'm in the moment when it's happening, and hey, I was having a good time! At last check of insobriety, we were at New Year's Eve so I'm right on track.

Phew, won't be expecting another 'mishap' until, let's see... July, which lands me right at the time of my youngest brother's wedding. Perfect.

Anyway, maybe I won't be going into the details of last night other than to say there was major discussion on feminine hygiene 'down there,'... "delapitory" cream verses "debilitating" cream (The other chick insisted it was debilitating cream and I was like, "So what's that mean? It renders you unable to walk or something?!"... Jaeger shots, Peppermint Schnapps shots which made it completely impossible for me to brush my teeth today because the mere smell of mint toothpaste had my stomach rolling. that but let's just say I had a
R
A
G
I
N
G

H A N G O V E R
today.

Let's put it this way. You know those redneck jokes that start out "You know you're a redneck when...?" Well, here's mine:

You know you're really drunk when you decide to put the major moves on your husband at 1:00 a.m. and you know HE'S really drunk when he says he can't!

I haven't decided whether I really love my neighborhood and the crazy neighbors here or if I should just put a For Sale sign in my yard before my liver stops working.

Foreplay

Don't need no kisses,
no licking on the neck,
Don't need no hugs,
or a kissy-kissy peck,

All he has to do,
all he has to say,
Is...
I'm so glad I'm a dad-day!

Okay, so it doesn't really rhyme but the point of this flash poem that I just thunk up in my head (and yes, as I'm typing this, I'm doing so in a redneck accent) is that we have been spending the past two days in major family mode--playing H-O-R-S-E on the driveway, going to the park, drawing with chalk on the drive, taking walks, eating ice cream and burritos, and just having fun being a family.

After Hub took Ajers to baseball practice, he came home and I was lounging, snoozing, cozied all up on my favorite couch in the whole wide world in my second favorite room in the whole wide world (second to only where I sit right now in front of this screen), and Hub says, with no prompting, no other conversation going on:

"I'm so glad I get to be a Daddy."

Yep, as I said, better than any of that other smushy stuff!

He's such a great dad. I'm so lucky.