Friday, October 30, 2009

THiS iS iT

If you've ever even liked a song or two from Michael Jackson, you will want to see this movie. Oh.My.God. The dude is AMAZING. AMAZING! What a freaking performer. We were only halfway through the movie and I was like, "I already want to see this movie again to see the dancing and performing and singing all over again."

I feel so badly for the guy. He didn't look sick. He didn't look malnourished. He didn't look like a freak. Heck, look at all those other performers out there. Look at Lady Guy Guy for crying out loud! Look at Marilyn Manson! Look at all those freak performers out there. Michael didn't even look weird in this movie. He looked like a gentle humble kinda guy just wanting to perform his best for an audience of people who love his music.

And he didn't get a chance to.

And Kenny Ortega, director. He did the High School Musical movies, and we all know how much I LOVED those. He's an amazing dude too, and you can tell in THIS IS IT that he and Michael had a great friendship. I'm sure he was devastated at the death of Michael.

In the beginning of the movie, they show the audition for dancers. These people traveled all over the world for a chance to dance behind Michael. What a dream. I think how they were given a life changing chance, and they didn't even get to see it through. What would it had been like to go on tour with Michael Jackson as a backup dancer, or a singer for Michael Jackson. To be hand-picked by the King of Pop?

And as I watched, I just kept wondering how Michael Jackson had changed these people's lives? There was a woman back-up singer who sang a ballad with Michael, and now I can't remember which one it was (I could google but am lazy), but I watched her and I'm thinking, "How could she not be DYING to be singing with Michael; how was she not so worried that she might miss a note and screw up?" Also an awesome blonde female guitarist rocked it when Michael sang Black or White. Did she ever think when she first picked up the guitar for the first time that she would one day be on stage playing an instrument so that Michael Jackson could sing to it? Just amazing!

And now the guy is dead.

And yeah, he was weird for a while. Why he was weird, we don't really know? Maybe he was weird cuz he was in the spotlight for his whole life. Maybe it was cuz his dad pimped him out to the paparazzi. Maybe he was abused and beaten down as a kid. Maybe he had strange relationships with young children. Who knows. We don't know for sure what happened. We will never know. All we do know is that he was an extremely talented gracious humble man who lent his talents to this world.

And that he inspired millions with his music.

Go see the movie. In memory of Michael. It's really worth it.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009


This is the longest stretch I have gone in almost 5 years without blogging, and I don't really know why other than I'm trying to figure stuff out. What kind of stuff I don't know. I don't know if people even come here anymore to read or what the point is of this blog. I fear my kids are too old now to make them the focus of this blog, and the really deep thoughts are thoughts that are unsharable. Not bad thoughts, just introspective thoughts. I have said it a million times on here that I need to get working on my second novel and maybe if I put the blog aside and do that, then I'll be DOING THAT and not just blogging about doing that.

See, again, I still don't even know what I'm saying here. And things have happened where I'm like, "Oh, that would make for an interesting blog post" but then the moment passes and it's gone, and not that important anymore. I'm just thinking about being rather than doing, if that makes any sense. None of it makes any sense actually. I don't know what I'm trying to figure out. Nothing really. No need to comment. I'm just here. Trying to figure out the shit I'm not sure I need to figure out, and if there's really anything I do need to figure out.

Monday, October 19, 2009


You all know how much I love my 10-year-old daughter, Diva (Of course, I have to remind you all that I have a daughter, and that she's 10 since it's been forever and a day since I've blogged). So, like AJers did in fifth grade, today is Diva's day to go to outdoor education with her class for an overnight.


Now, it was a little emotional to send AJers off last year, and I wrote about that experience here.

With Diva, well, she's my girl, and while I don't think I play favorites, it just seemed weird to send her off. She was telling me she was anxious both ways - excited and nervous, and how she was going to miss me, and what if she woke up in the middle of the night wanting me. That kind of stuff - the stuff you don't get with boys. And yeah, I'm sure I coddle her more than the boys, but she's a different kind of person. She needs affirmation and attention (gee, wonder where she gets THOSE traits from?).

Anyway, she woke up this a.m. happy as could be, even saying, "I don't think I've ever gotten up on a Monday when I haven't been crabby." (Maybe we need Outdoor Ed EVERY Monday!)

She had her bags packed and I was taking her to the school for their trip (which is only about an hour away) and I had a good idea, which I think she and I had done before.

"Let's put hearts on our wrists so every time you see it, you know I'm thinking of you, and every time I see mine, I know you're thinking of me! (I just looked at mine again!)

So, we Sharpied on two red hearts (when did Sharpie become a verb?), and smooshed them together like a heart/wrist kiss. On our way to school I told her that when she's 18, if she still loves me like she does now, I will take her and we will get matching tattoo hearts on our wrists. That's just in 8 short years. I kinda hope she would want to do this with me. Just me and my daughter, two wrist-hearts to remind us how much we love each other.

And then I also told her that after she has the real tattoo, if she ever gets pissed at me, she can always Sharpie a black line through it for a couple days!

So, Diva's gone to Outdoor Ed until tomorrow afternoon, but she knows I'm thinking of her and that I love her so very much.

Because of this:

Have fun Diva Girl!

Thursday, October 15, 2009


The funk is back.

((Soul Brother))

Beckoning me from bed.

To live and breathe and think and do.

And be.

But I withdraw.

Back in my slumber.
Not wanting to grasp its meaning.

But it’s here again. Controlling me.
When all I want

Is to
do and
think and

And be.

What does it want from me?
To spew
these words, pull them from
the pen and .

Then it stops.

As quickly
as started.

At lost. It's lost.

The funk retreats.

Hides behind the covers of my lids.
So that I can only

see, what others cannot.

So that they do not know
That He exists,
Waiting to
plummet the pen
into these words.

10:54 p.m. 10-15-09

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

i WeNT SoMeWHeRe

So, I haven’t blogged in a while but I have a good excuse. I got whisked away to Florida for five days. It was lazy, relaxing and fun all rolled into one big HOT and HUMID time. Here are my FB updates which is kind of like a mini-blog post, and also my Tweets about my "Twip." Twy and cweate a short stowy about what you read here and post it in the comments!


is afraid that she might have killed the puffer fish.

is drinking a mudslide beachside.

is waiting for her toes to park after dark.

is glad the puffer fish is not dead.

is done eating. can she have another espresso martini? and is mom and dad watching the kids?

is pleased that waiter said hubby reminds him of vince vaughn. vince is first on my list of five!!

is freaked that out of all the bars in the world elevation, u2's chicago cover band is at the same bar in tampa that i'm in. macdinton's. conna can u meet me? leslie and rob come on out.

is shit. first time i dropped my new phone. not the last.

is wondering if anyone in this bar has real tits and why does it feel so good to pee right now?

is loving facebooking in public.

i cant say a 3 syllasble word but i could prolly dive home. my r letter sticks. drive i mean. you and me baby we aint nothin but mammals.

am home from dinner and U2 fake concert. Would go to sleep but I think expresso martinis might thwart that idea.

done for the night.

Saturday update: Puffer Fish - thriving. Me, not so much.

So, our family has often talked about pitching a reality TV show called "So I Married a Rhyne (not real maiden name)." We've got the theme song all figured out ... "I thought my life was going fine, until I found myself marrying a Rhyne!" Insert Country-White Trash Slang.

After purchasing super plus tampons at Walgreen's and ONLY that, the guy asks: "Do you want your receipt?" Me: "No thanks, I don't think I'll need to return these."

is going to stuff her face yet again. filet, baked potato, chopped salad, broc casserole,vino, chocolate cake. vacation sux.

is glad the puffer fish is not dead.

Can someone wire my mouth shut until the end of the year please. NO.MORE.FOOD.

is waiting for her plane to arrive and wishing for a nap.

thinks chicago is cold but florida is hot.

is exhausted.

And now the Tweets from the Twip:

1.Gotta finish packing. Au voir. Whatever the hell that means. Ha, I really know.

2.Heading to airport for an adventure2:42 PM Oct 7th from txt

3.Touchdown tampa.7:38 PM Oct 7th from txt

4.Now that I'm in Tampa, the first place I'm going to get food is CHICK FILA! Be jealous.8:33 AM Oct 8th from web

5.Am at chick fila getting ready to order! happy dance10:02 AM Oct 8th from txt

6.Just watched last night's #glee episode. HOw can that show not make you happy and dancy? Love every aspect of it!12:11 PM Oct 8th from web

7.Am on my second margarita-I make 'em with frozen limeade, sugar, triple sec, tequila, and a topper of amaretto. Vacation.5:28 PM Oct 8th from web

8.In the same state as Bono TWICE. Since I was puking at the 1st concert cuz of a migraine, think Bono will give me a ticket? Connections NE1?8:50 AM Oct 9th from web

9.Am drinking a mudslide beachside. Nice.11:52 AM Oct 9th from txt

10.Waiter just said hubby reminds him of vince vaughn. Vince is #1 on my list of five. How did he know?7:44 PM Oct 9th from txt

11.Am in a bar oin tampa listening 2 a chicago u2 covert band ive seen b4. What r the odds?9:49 PM Oct 9th from txt

12.Having a geat time getting effed up in a bar watching u2 cover banmd from chicago. Go elevation10:25 PM Oct 9th from txt

13.all the bars in the world, what's the odds that the U2 cover band Elevation from Chicago that I have seen is playing in this tampa bar?11:32 PM Oct 9th from web

14.You'll all be pleased to know I am done for the night. Too bad the night was yesterday.11:37 PM Oct 9th from web

15.So yeah, I'm here.12:46 PM Oct 10th from web

16.So it's drinking/tweeting time. Awesome margaritas -- limeade, triple sec, tequila, sugar, ice. Top it with a shot of amaretto. Here we go!5:34 PM Oct 10th from web takes a very special person to fit in with this effed up family.6:08 PM Oct 10th from web

19.In fact, there's going to be a new reality show called, "So I Married a Rhyne. (not real maiden name)" ... and there's a theme song already ...6:09 PM Oct 10th from web

20.This is the top laziest vacation I've ever been on and it ROCKS!5:41 PM Oct 10th from web

21.I could have just brought PJs and a swim suit and I woulda packed too much.5:41 PM Oct 10th from web

22.Now playing WAR with my daughter, and drinking my second margarita. What's everyone else doing this glorious Saturday night?5:44 PM Oct 10th from web

23.Theme song: "I thought my life was going fine, then I screwed up and married a Rhyne!"6:09 PM Oct 10th from web

24.U have to sing that theme song in a white-trashy twang sorta sound. "I thought mah life was goin' fine-then I ruined it, married a Rhyne.6:10 PM Oct 10th from web

25.Today when I bought tampons & ONLY that, the guy asks: "Do you want your receipt?" Me: "No thanks, I don't think I'll need to return these."2:23 PM Oct 11th from web excited that i figured out how 2 get twitter on my phone!2:41 PM Oct 12th from web

27.If I could get away with slipping into bed for the night to sleep, I would so do it right now.4:22 PM Oct 12th from web

28.going to bed at 8pm.about 23 hours ago from web

Tell me what I did on vacation? Cuz I don’t remember!

Friday, October 02, 2009


OK, so yeah, here I am. And am buzzed. I acutally cooked a dinner fot he family, and yeth, if there's bypo's oops, typos then that's how it's conng gonna be cause I am buzzed. but I have a story to tell you about my youngest son Tueky. Oops, Tukey. And yeah, I'm typing with one eye closed. The left one is closed ...

So, Tueky Tukey is in some smart kid math at school and they had a word problem to solve that said something like:

OK, so I'll just write the whole thing down here now:

Nora, Irene and I found 50 cents on the playground. We turned the money in to the office (at least they didn't use it to buy crack!). A week later, no one had claimed it, so we got to keep it. How much money do each of us get if we shared the 50 cents equally?

OK, so we all know the answer is 50 cents divided by 3, right? Well Tukey is in 2nd grade and he was supposed to figure this out. The instructions also said to draw a picture or use numbers to help explain how you figured out the answer.

Well, Tukey figured out the answer and he said each person would get 25 cents.

Wanna know why?

He drew a picture of three stick figures, one of Nora, one of Irene, and one stick figure of himself. And the one that he labeled as himself has a note in a thought balloon that says:

"I don't need any money."

Bwhahahahah! I am keeping this sheet of paper on my fridge forever! What a smart kid--cuz he couldn't figure out how much each of three would get, he decided to take himself out of the equation!

"I don't need any money."

OK, and yeah, I'm pretty buzzed rigth now.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

iT HaS CoMe To THiS

Aside from mother, daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, wife, in-law, writer, blogger, yoga-enthusiast, you can now add another to the list of things that I am:


I didn't see the critter coming across the street. OK, that's a lie. Add liar to that list. I saw the chipmunk scrambling to get to the other side. I always see them crossing, whether it's a squirrel, a chipmunk, a goose, whatever. And I always break for 'em. In fact, if there was a bumper sticker that says, "I Break for Critters" it should be mine, cuz I do. Even if it means jeopardizing the children in the car. I break.

And hahaha, yes I just realized it should be BRAKE and not BREAK, but guess what? That poor little guy is certainly broken today. As in breaked.

Anyway, grammar lesson complete, I always brake for the little guys.

Because I know that little critter is crossing in a scurry to get to the other side, to perhaps bring a fallen acorn to his little chipmunk family, and I want him to get across. I do.

But today, the little guy didn't make it. I put on my brakes, and while slowed, I didn't stop, because, well, I don't know why I didn't stop. There wasn't another car behind me. It would have been OK for me to stop. But, I was in a hurry to get to Jimmy John's and get a JJBLT, some salt & vinegar chips and a big ole diet coke. Yes, I was solely thinking of myself.

And that's when it happened, although, I wasn't sure if I squashed him or not with my front right tire. I didn't FEEL anything, not a bump or a jump or anything to indicate that I had hit the critter.

Only did I realize my crime when I looked in the rearview mirror and saw his little body on the street. Except at that time, it looked plump as if I maybe just almost rolled over it and stunned the poor guy.

When I came back on my way home, I drove slowly and said this mantra: Please don't be dead little guy, please don't be dead ... over and over in my head.

But he was. Squished like a bug. Flatter than a pancake, and guts oozing from it's poor little chipmunk body.

How could this have happened? I love little critters. There's a couple even underneath my front walkway, and sometimes they peek out at me as if to say, "Hello kind lady. Thanks for letting us make our home at your home!"

That poor little dude will never see his family again. He will have not been able to deliver the goods to whomever he was taking acorns and nuts to. I have ended his life.

I take that road often, probably 10 times a week. And from now on, I will have to drive through the murder site, and remember that I ended a little critter's life. It makes me sad.

And only fitting, when I got home, I look at our Halloween decorations, and see one fake tombstone that says RIP, and the other, which sent chills up my spine: