Monday, December 28, 2009

PeRFeCT WoRLD ReSoLuTioNS

In a perfect world, these would be my resolutions:

I would sleep ONLY between the hours of 10:00 pm and 7 am. This basic 9 hour regimen would alleviate the need for my mid-day naps on my ever-so comfy couch, but considering Mr. Manic surprised me with a Westin Heavenly King-Sized bed for Christmas, maybe 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep on a Westin Heavenly is all I would need. However, I severely doubt it as I can take a 13-hour nap on the crappy Sam's Club Hellish Bed I have been sacrificed on for the past 10 years. YES, I HAVE been sacrificed on THAT bed. Many, many times.

I would go to the gym between 8 am and 9:30 am M through Friday. Sin Falta. That means, "without fail" buddy.

I would toss in a load of laundry daily, dry it, fold it and put it away, whittling down my laundry situation to one load a day.

I would eat breakfast daily, something healthy, which would stave off hunger to a mid-day healthy snack, then a healthy lunch, an afternoon snack, a healthy dinner, and then an after-dinner snack, (you know, the eat-five-small-healthy-meals-a-day plan) thus bringing us to bedtime at 10 pm.

I would spend the extra hours at home NOT on Facebook or Twitter and instead focus on the book I started three years ago, and finish that bastard of a novel FINALLY.

At 2:45 when the bus roared home, I would completely go into Mommy Mode and forget the internet ever existed. I would focus on homework, after-school activities, the joy my children bring into my life and into my heart.

I would cook a home-style meal. We would find time to sit around the table and explore each others' days and lives. It would be a JOYOUS and MOMENTOUS evening, EACH AND EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! The children would shower me with accolades! "Mommy! Where did you learn to make such delicious foods! How did you find the TIME?" Husband would look into my eyes with a love he had never known before. He would ask, "Where is the woman I married?"

I would say, "She was thrown out with the Sam's Club bed."

We would all laugh and know there was nothing of the sort and the next night, thankfully, there would be Hamburger Helper and bagged salad for dinner.

Yes, thank God there is no perfoct world, and no resolutions to be kept!

Friday, December 25, 2009

a MaNiC STyLe CHRiSTMaS ... aND yeS, LeT THeRe Be SuGaR

I sit here with my family on Christmas night and we’re all watching A Christmas Story and I wanted to watch Elf but find myself laughing anyway at the dumb lamp and the little brother Randy who eats the mashed potatoes like a pig. This is probably going to be my last post of the year and it’ll probably be a long one.

I have … oops, we’re getting to the Eff word part on the movie. The best part. First here's a random picture to prove what a Ziploc Whore I really am. This is my Ziploc cabinet, dedicated to only Ziplocs. Ziploc, I salute you. Thank you for being you!

Anyway, I’ll try not to digress too much.We had the 4th annual cookie exchange, and I’ll post pictures. I tested my sugar tolerance by eating three of my rolo pretzel pecan thingamagigs as I call them and in doing so, it was great because I found I didn’t crave them or find that I wanted more sugar after eating them. At the cookie exchange, I ate one or two of these luscious Oreo balls. They were totally worth it and a friend even shot video of me eating one, but I will not bore you with that explicit footage. I felt I did OK when it came to the sugar intake of the evening and was fine with returning back to my no-sugar routine.

(I just screamed when Ralphie’s dad tried to put the leg lamp together and it fell apart. I forgot that had happened! I’m not doing too well with this post while watching this show. I forgot how much I enjoyed it.)

So, right before Christmas, our family went on a Staycation to Chicago for two nights and we had a great time and did it all: Diva and I went to the Museum of Contemporary Art while the boys took in ESPN Zone, we all hit Lincoln Park Zoo, Gino’s East for pizza, The Bean at Millenium Park, John Hancock Building, the Water Tower, Garrett’s Popcorn, we went swimming and hot-tubbing and cheesecaking and apple-tini-ing. Yep, one night I did a bunch of overindulging in the sugar department and boy, did I feel the major effects. It HURT. An overdose of caramel popcorn, three appletinis, Cheesecake factory Oreo cheesecake and Stefanie’s 5-inch high red velvet cake (how could I resist a cake named after ME, although misspelled!)


I woke at midnight feeling like I had to puke AND you-know-what and that did not feel too good. It felt HORRIBLE. That’s how I used to feel all of the time when I would eat so much sugar. Just YUCK! And it further proved to me that I do not want to live that way. Not at all. Of course, it is Christmas today so I did have a piece of Christmas cake, but will be back on the No-Sugar-Track in no time at all. Like tomorrow!

As for future plans, the Virtual Blog for Blood Drive is soon approaching, and I do hope you’ll consider being a part of it this year! I’m desperately trying to get THE Ellen Degeneres on board to help with the event this year – wouldn’t THAT be amazing? If you have a contact to get in touch with her, PLEASE TELL HER MANIC MOMMY WANTS HER! Regardless, they’ll still be some great prizes because I believe if you build it, they will come! And if you want to donate a prize, whether it’s a pint of your blood or a Starbucks card, I’d love to have you participate! As in the past two years, the Blood Drive will run from January 1 through Feb. 28, so if you time it right, you can donate twice during the event, and all you have to do is send me a photo of you donating blood IN THE CHAIR. More details to follow next week!


I’ll also be video-blogging about some great books I’ve read which will be lots of fun, and will hopefully be giving away some fun reads as well!

Wishing you all a great New Year!
XO MaNiC MoMMy
Peace UP!


Thursday, December 17, 2009

SuGaR iS THe RooT oF aLL eViL?

So it's been quite a while since I've had a sufficient amount of a real dessert, way back when I shoveled all those Halloween candies and cupcakes down my gullet on November 1. Like approximately 47 days. And about 43 days since I've had a can of diet coke. Have I lost any weight?

Nope.

Why the eff-bomb am I still not eating sugar and not drinking my most favorite drink in the world aside from appletinis you may be asking if the pounds are just not melting off?

I guess because in some sickening way it does make me feel better. In a couple of sickening ways.

First of all, I really like having control over being able to HAVE control over it. Sounds pretty whacky, but if we don't know that I'm pretty whacky by now, well then, that's another problem. I guess the thing about willpower is once you've got control over something, it feels pretty, powerful. Like you can say, "It's been 47 days since I've had a donut." Or a piece of cake. A cookie. A TCBY's white chocolate mousse yogurt in one of those awesome waffle cones dipped in chocolate with sprinkles all stuck on it. You know what I mean?

But if I don't think about it too much, it really doesn't bother me. And if I eat something else instead, sometimes that even tastes like WAY better. Like today, I had some awesome hummus and pita chips and I was like going way crazy over how good it tasted.

But yesterday. Yesterday I was really craving a diet coke for some reason. But I knew if I had one I would just be nutso and then want more, more, more. So I didn't have one. And I got through it. I imagine this is pretty much like what it's got to feel like to want a cigarette so badly. But without the fear of getting lung cancer.

Anyway, the purpose of THIS post was to talk about the no sugar dealio. And I started about saying how not eating sugar is good in a couple of sickening ways, the first being the willpower way. The second is that I remember how crappy eating a bunch of sugary sweets would make me feel. Like all sluggish and run-down and hyped up at the same time, and out of control almost. And just BLAH. Not that I'm feeling like running marathons these days, and not that I'm feeling like I never need a nap these days, because that's another story - I CAN always SLEEP! I have some degenerative sleep disorder that when my head hits a pillow or I go horizontal, KABOOOM! I can fall asleep anywhere, and let me tell you, I do NOT MIND this disorder at all. I LOVE this habit of mine!

But, the sugar thing. I don't need to feel sluggish anymore. So I don't think I really want to go back to feeling that way.

Today was a big test in the sugar department and tomorrow ... well, today was actually a pop quiz. Thanksgiving was a mid-term exam, that's for sure. I passed that sucker with flying colors, probably cuz I had wine instead. Yes, I do not consider wine as sugar. When YOU decide to give up sugar, you can make up your OWN rules to your own sugar game, but this one is MINE and wine is not a part of my sugar busting game, OK? Thanks.

So, on Thanksgiving, I didn't have a single dessert, but yes, I did have wine, and yes, I did have the sweet potato casserole, which did have brown sugar and regular sugar in the recipe. And YES, I felt like SHIT afterward. And sluggishly shitty. I don't like that feeling. I remember that feeling. It was caused by the sugar. (And the tryptophan, and the wine, and yeah, I get it.)

So, my pop quiz today was this: Tomorrow is the big neighborhood cookie exchange we have every year and I made these Pretzel-Rolo-Pecan Thingamagiggies. That's what I'm calling 'em anyway. I wasn't sure if I was gonna eat any or not. I figured if I felt like it, I would try one or two, if I didn't feel like it I wouldn't.

I made a bunch of them without trying them for a while, and then like an hour or two later, I tried one. It tasted ... eh. Fine. I wasn't thrilled. I wasn't OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST THING IN MY ENTIRE LIFE AND HOW COULD I HAVE NOT BEEN EATING CHOCOLATE AND CARAMEL FOR THE PAST 47 DAYS!

So that made me think I needed to try another one because maybe I missed something with the first one. So, I tried another one. Same thing. Eh.

It DIDN'T DO ANYTHING FOR ME!

Which did a TON FOR ME!!!! I was SOOO happy to know that I wasn't going to go on a crazy binge and eat the whole cookie sheet of Pretzel-Rolo-Pecan Thingamagiggies!! That I wasn't going to shovel dozens of them down my throat and grab a case of diet coke to wash them down with. I had been so afraid to try anything remotely chocolatey for fear that I would freak and go back to my old ways of eating that I had been avoiding everything! I DIDN'T BINGE ON THE SUCKERS!

I did, however, want to drink some water immediately to get the taste out of my mouth in case my tastebuds decided to suddenly rebel against my brain and decide that they wanted more!

Let's see how tomorrow night goes when I am faced with 40 different types of homemade cookies and treats. At least there will be appetizers and wine there as beautiful distractions!

Joy to the World, my tastebuds are dead!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

aN oPeN LeTTeR To eLLeN DeGeNeReS CuZ SHe'S So GeNeRouS!

*update: If you want to share this with Ellen, you can tweet it to her by sending this: @theellenshow: MaNiC MoMMy wants your blood! http://bit.ly/6O9wZS or go to her website and send her a note telling her to come to this link: http://bit.ly/6O9wZS.

Dear Ellen,

Remember that time you had a dream? It was a dream to be on Oprah magazine. You believed in yourself and set out with a strong campaign to overcome any naysayers and with hope and dedication you did what you dreamed of doing. (Although I was a bit miffed that Michelle Obama beat you to the punch.)

It was YOUR dream. You set out with a task, and you accomplished it.

Well, I have a dream too. And yeah, if you had your own magazine titled E, my dream would be to share the cover with you, and I’d wear pants too! But you don’t have a magazine titled E, so my dream is something else.

But this something else most definitely involves YOU.

I’m most CERTAIN you can help me obtain MY DREAM. And you’re the ONLY person out of the many millions of people in the world I could have chosen to ask because I know you’ve gone to great lengths to fight for a dream of your own so you know what it’s like to see that dream through. You know where I’m coming from first-hand. You know the pain and the anguish of fighting for your dream, of waiting on hold for Oprah, of going to sleep at night wondering if all your efforts were for naught, wondering if you were wasting your time, if you should have just tried to get on the cover of Sport’s Illustrated swimsuit issue instead.

I fully trust you know how I’m feeling when I make this request, which really is rather simple and beneficial to thousands of people!

I want your blood!

But I want more than that!

I want your viewers’ blood too!

And I’m not talking Edward Cullen blood, although I am most definitely Team Edward and if we have to get him involved in this plight to save thousands, I won’t be one to object! (Heck, I’ll even let him bite my neck!)

Beginning January, and running through February, I will be hosting the 3rd annual MaNiC MoMMy Virtual Blog for Blood Drive, which, to my knowledge is the ONLY virtual blood drive in the blogosphere.

In the past two years, we have saved hundreds of lives through the efforts of blood donors and I KNOW that with the help of The Ellen Show, we can reach MILLIONS!

Of course, if you can help, this teeny little grassroots effort of mine will SKYROCKET into a phenom! I know you help millions of people every year, but one person’s FREE pint of blood helps save THREE lives and donating blood is such an easy and generous gift for ALL people to give! (Plus, there are SNACKS!)

One of the motivational factors I would like to ask, aside from a pint of your blood is that perhaps at the end of this year’s contest, the grand prize winner could receive a trip to your show?

I’M NOT EVEN ASKING FOR A TRIP FOR MYSELF!

I would just love to offer the winner a trip to visit you! In the past, we have offered prizes to the donors, including Target gift cards, movie tickets, gift cards, t-shirts, and other small gifts of which I and some generous blog readers have donated, and last year a trip to Florida was given away. I would LOVE to up the ante and offer one random blood donor a grand prize trip to The Ellen Show!

How AMAZING would THAT BE?

So what do you think Ellen? Are you feeling it in your blood?

I bet your viewers would LOVE to watch you donate a pint of blood on your show. I bet they would LOVE for some of your guests to donate blood on your show! I bet some of my readers of my blog would love the opportunity for a chance to donate a pint of blood in the hopes of winning a trip to be on your show to share their inspirational blood-donating stories! We can spread the word between our efforts! And January is National Blood Donor Month so why not kick off the New Year with a Bloody Party! Bring on the vampires!

I’m sure we can collaborate on some great ways to make this a huge success and if you could help spread the word ANY way at all, I would be most appreciative! I know you probably get hundreds of requests for things like this all of the time, but THIS IS MY DREAM! You had one too! Your dream came true! Remember how it felt when Oprah called YOU! Can you please pay that feeling forward to me? And this dream of mine is only to help OTHERS!

Please!

Details on how I run the MaNiC MoMMy Virtual Blog for Blood Drive can be found here! Basically, anyone can enter – all that is needed is a photo taken while the person is donating blood while in the chair at their local blood bank from January 1 through February 28.

Thank you so much for even taking the time to read my letter! The 3rd annual Virtual Blog for Blood Drive will kick off on January 1 and run through February 28. I'd love the support of The Ellen Show! More details are below and if you would like to know more, we can set up a conference call! Ha, did I really just tell Ellen I can have a conference call with her. Oh yes I did! A girl can dream can't she!? Just ask Ellen! Who dreamed of being on Oprah's magazine AND MADE IT COME TRUE!

Sincerely,

Stephanie Ellen (yes, that’s my REAL middle name!) Elliot aka MaNiC MoMMy

First Annual MaNiC MoMMy Virtual Blog for Blood Drive

Second Annual MaNiC MoMMy Virtual Blog for Blood Drive

Sunday, December 13, 2009

RaNDoM BLoG PoST

I have no idea where this blog post is going but thought I should blog. Am sitting in my living room wondering if the mouse that we spotted in our house on Friday (OK, Tukey and Mr. Manic spotted it on Friday a.m.) is anywhere near me, and wondering if the glue strips or the mouse traps will get it. I doubt seriously that it would have ventured back outside if given the option. Why would a mouse go back out in the cold if it could just stay in here in this nice 70/71 degree home even though there are NO crumbs to be found thanks to my Ziploc addiction and the fact that I secure all items of food. Now I am being interrupted by Diva and her friend asking if they can paint their nails. And oh yeah, Ajers has a girlfriend and I can no longer blog about that because it's too personal but she and Diva painted his toenails last night and after I dropped his girlfriend off, well, see, I can't even blog what he told me because it's just way too personal and I am going to respect his privacy but if you really want to know ... well, never mind. See, this sucks. The kids are too grown up. Drat. But ... oh well. Shit. Lost my train of thought. Is it really important anyway. Why do they have to grow up?

But I was thinking this a.m. that it's really cool that I can leave out all cleaning supplies and not worry about having to call poison control in the event of accidental swallowing. And I don't have to go through the aisle with all the formula and diapers anymore. So that's stuff to be grateful for.

But now we have to look forward to other stuff. Am I ready for all this tweener other stuff?

Oh my God, I am boring myself to tears.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

LiKe WHaT ya See?

Little changes.

I'm starting.

Not sure where I'm heading, but I kinda like the simple feel of the new template of MaNiC MoMMy. I played around with wordpress and thought about moving my blog to another blog 'handler' or whatever you call 'em, but I've been using BLOGGER for five years and I'm comfortable with it, so I'm staying. It's what I know. It's simple for this simple-minded gal. I know how to put the words on the screen and how to post pictures and youtube videos. That's all I need to know.

I've been thinking too, and Gosh, does that hurt. Every year, around this time I make myself the same promises. I will promise to write this book. I say it every flippin' year. And every flippin' year goes by and is that book written? Well, the first one is, but not the second one. And where is the first one? Well it's with my agent. It made it to some publishers, but timing wasn't right for that first book. The second one ... if I don't get a move on, the timing's not gonna be right on that one either. I need to kick it in gear. So, that's just another one of those things to think about for January.

Also, book related. We all know I love books. More than most women love make-up, shoes, hair products. So, I'm thinking of bringing back Booking With Manic. Maybe to a weekly (OK, let's not get too ambitious for 2010), or a bi-weekly feature on Manic.

Twice a month I will dish via video about some of the fave books I've read or will be reading. And I've got some great ones to kick off the new year with. Some books that some really off-the-wall MEN wrote. You know who you are you cock-sucking bastards. Yep. You guys. The two men who I would have loved to have known in college so I could have partied with who happen to be really great writers. More on that later. Now, if that's not tempting enough to get you back here in 2010, I don't know what is!?

Sunday, December 06, 2009

FiVe YeaRS oF BLoGGiNG

This week marks the anniversary of FIVE YEARS that I've been blogging. I looked at the numbers. And yeah, we all know I hate math, but there are 365 days in a year. Take that number times five and you get 1,825 days. In 1,825 days I wrote 1,186 blog posts. Now that's not exactly one post per day or one post every other day, but it's somewhere in between those two, right?

See I suck at math.

Anyway, I was talking to Mr. Manic today and I don't know where to go from here. I started a post earlier this week about how Tukey got really, really REALLY sick in the middle of the night, and I just stopped writing it.

It stopped being funny. It started being sad. When the stories start getting sad and I feel like if my kid was to read it and be hurt by me joking about him being ill in the middle of the night, well, that's when I need to rethink what I'm writing about.

It was the very first time I stopped in mid-writing to rethink what I was writing. It was an A-Ha moment for me. I couldn't post it. I knew it would be hurtful for him if someone read it and it got back to him that I had written about the incident.

So I don't know where I'm headed. I just know I've written this blog for five years. I know readership has greatly declined. That's OK. People get busy. Lives are lived. I understand that completely. I think I need some new direction. I need a new focus. I still love telling stories and want to share what's going on. Hubby suggested some new blog titles: Manic Milf and Cagey Cougar were two of them, but I'm not sure I would like the type of readers that might find me.

So we'll see. I do know I'm going to do the Third Annual Virtual Blog for BLood Drive this year, with some great prizes again, and I do hope you'll consider donating your blood the first of the year.
I'm not going away, just trying to rethink some direction.

Everyone needs some change once in a while. Even this Manic Mommy.

Five years is a long time coming.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

JoKe

I just made up this joke and I expect that it's going to go viral and will get me the 15-minutes of fame I so very much deserve. Feel free to share it with the world, but please credit it to me:


Why would anyone want to marry the UPS guy?

Rumor has it he's got a huge PACKAGE!



I have so much free time it's just deliciously inexcusable!