Child Humor

Me to AJers: "Don’t go down in the basement right now."

AJers: "Why?"

Me: "Daddy has to make a phone call for work and he's down there."

AJers: “Are you sure there’s not another woman in his life?”

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Me, in the bathroom, Tukey comes by and yells through the door:

“Mom, you still taking a doozy?”

~ ~ ~

Diva, overheard with her friend in the backyard as they practice hitting for softball:

“Get mad at it girl! Get mad at it!"

And, in preparation for batting, where they have to plant their front foot down in order to hit: “Squish the bug! Squish the bug!”

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AJers, sniffing around in my bathroom: "Ewwww, it smells like updog in here."

Me: "What's 'updog?'"

AJers: "Not much, what's up with you, dog?"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tukey: Mom, do birds lay eggs?

Me: Yeah, of course! They all do, penguins lay eggs, all birds lay eggs.

Tukey: I only thought chickens lay eggs.

Me: Nope, all birds lay eggs.

Diva, entering into the conversation: Well, how exactly do they come out? Do they throw them up, or do they poop 'em out?

Me: Well, actually, they come out of their vaginas.

Tukey: Mom, you scare me.