That's what I've been having ... moments.
And they haven't been great. I've been going through a rough spot lately, and it hasn't been exactly a fun time in my life but I'm trying to work through it by realizing what's been going on has nothing to do with me, but with others. That what's been going on is nothing that I can control. That if I want to make things better, I have to make things better within myself.
So that's what I've been doing. I'm working on myself lately, and I'm going to continue to work on myself. Yes, I know this is very cryptic, but because it involves people I love, I don't want to hurt anyone by outing anyone on the blog; although I know it's being read.
I hope it's getting through.
All I know is that I've got to ... Hell, I don't know what I've got to do, actually. I've got to work on my family, although it's affecting my family. It's part of my family. This thing has been a part of my family my whole entire life. My whole entire life, and maybe it hasn't been noticed before, but I hope it's becoming a realization with recent developments.
I don't want everything to be eaten up by this. There are too many things, good things to look forward to in the future to let it be eaten up by this.
Maybe that's why I love books so much. Maybe that's why I used to hole up in my room, lock myself up in there, escape from everything to read. To get away from the realness of what was happening. To find a way out? To go to the imaginary places, to read about the fictional characters I love and loved so much, and still do today. Just wondering. But probably not. It wasn't that bad. I love and loved my life. It's still good. Just some rough spots I will work through, am doing it.
Hahahah, see, I am soooo cryptic!
And pretty soon, a whole month of some great new books coming your way.... see, I am FIINNNNNE! Had to get this off my chest, and already, I feel better. Thanks for listening, to those of you who are taking the time!