Monday, August 22, 2011

Having Moments

That's what I've been having ... moments.

And they haven't been great. I've been going through a rough spot lately, and it hasn't been exactly a fun time in my life but I'm trying to work through it by realizing what's been going on has nothing to do with me, but with others. That what's been going on is nothing that I can control. That if I want to make things better, I have to make things better within myself.

So that's what I've been doing. I'm working on myself lately, and I'm going to continue to work on myself. Yes, I know this is very cryptic, but because it involves people I love, I don't want to hurt anyone by outing anyone on the blog; although I know it's being read.

I hope it's getting through.

All I know is that I've got to ... Hell, I don't know what I've got to do, actually. I've got to work on my family, although it's affecting my family. It's part of my family. This thing has been a part of my family my whole entire life. My whole entire life, and maybe it hasn't been noticed before, but I hope it's becoming a realization with recent developments.

I don't want everything to be eaten up by this. There are too many things, good things to look forward to in the future to let it be eaten up by this.

Maybe that's why I love books so much. Maybe that's why I used to hole up in my room, lock myself up in there, escape from everything to read. To get away from the realness of what was happening. To find a way out? To go to the imaginary places, to read about the fictional characters I love and loved so much, and still do today. Just wondering. But probably not. It wasn't that bad. I love and loved my life. It's still good. Just some rough spots I will work through, am doing it.

Hahahah, see, I am soooo cryptic!

And pretty soon, a whole month of some great new books coming your way.... see, I am FIINNNNNE! Had to get this off my chest, and already, I feel better. Thanks for listening, to those of you who are taking the time!

20 comments:

Martina's Moments said...

I totally understand where you are coming from. A dear friend of mine told me that you must remove yourself from black cloud people because they will obliterate the sunshine in your life, even if those black cloud people are family members. Stay strong!

faithspage said...

The first comment is so correct, BLACK CLOUD.
I hope everything works out. It's hard not to let someone else's black cloud squeeze into your own life. I think you've made the first BIG step, realizing where the problem is.

KJ said...

HI cryptic! I just want to say that you're so right to focus on what you can control. It also helps me to remember that every moment IS your life--your now, your present. As in, life is the journey, not the destination, and it's not about what will or might happen tomorrow or even in the next hour, but about right here right now. Hang in!

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

But this black cloud isn't always a black cloud. Usually it's a ray of sunshine, the heart of my life, and nothing of the sort of a negative impact. It's only on occasion that I feel this way, which is why I'm "having moments" and why this is so unfortunate now. Thanks for your comments and thoughts. -- MaNiC

MonaLisa said...

Sorry to hear of your troubles. Taking care of yourself in any situation is important so you have strength to work through rough times.

faithspage said...

You are allowed to have moments, just remove yourself you the cloud turns black, or try to help the cloud.
Geez, that was cheeeeezy.
Anywho, i'm sure you get what i'm saying.
You have alot of "friends" on here to vent to.

absolutahnie said...

this, too, shall pass. i think we've all been where you are at some point in our lives so take strength in knowing your friends are with you always.

Susan said...

Take care and get thru this - we want our MaNiaC back. :^)

You have the love and support of a lot of friends, fans and followers!

Krystal said...

Sorry you're having a tough time. Hang in there! Praying for strength and peace for you and you "moment"!

Crystal said...

Just know that we are all here for you whenever you have your moments and need to vent! I'm sure we've all had our own moments and we have to do whatever we can to make it better!

Hope everything gets better soon!

Crystal717

Logan said...

I have to agree with everything those before me have posted. You are loved by people who have never even met you. We all enjoy your posts and stories. Thank you for sharing your life with us.
As for the book thing, for me I know books are an escape. In fact, I was reading a book recently that said that mirror neurons fire in your brain when you read. So you actually experience what the characters are experiencing albeit to a smaller degree. We can all work on ourselves but you should also take some time to just read a good book that makes you happy. Thinking of you.

buttah said...

LIfe is about "moments", good and bad. And we are allowed to have them both. Just know when to take a step away from the bad ones and give it time to return to good! I am dealing with a "moment" right now too...and have had to completely walk away from it. And it is breaking my heart. Hopefully that "moment" will one day see what their life is missing since this "moment" left it due to negativity. Chin up sister, it can only get better!!

Margaret said...

Yes you make a great point about about certain things not being in your control but affecting you just the same. I have also felt and do feel this way often. Hanging in their. take time to do those things you require for yourself to keep your sanity like reading. Tackle each day as it comes....

Working Mommy said...

I'm sure everything is going to work out just fine! Life always has a way of coming out okay with time!

WM

Terri said...

Logan is right, you are loved by people you haven't even met. Even though it's sometimes cryptic, thank you for opening up and sharing your life. That brutal honesty can often be comforting and serves as a reminder that each and every one of us has our struggles. I pray you will get through this black cloud, my friend. And yes, because you share so openly, you do feel like a friend even though we haven't met!

Maybe someday we'll actually have the chance to meet for that lunch!

Terri M.

Casey said...

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time. Isn't it great that we have books to help us through? I love when you can just have a book that defines a period of your life and you always look back and associate the two together. For some people, its smells or music, but for me, I always remember where I was (both literally and figuratively) when I read a book. I know the books that have gotten me through moves, losses of loved ones, my engagement, graduation, starting new jobs, etc.

Keep calm, and read on.

Christine in NJ said...

I so wish I lived in the same city with you!!!!! We would be doing coffee and chatting all the time!!!! I often feel you are my long lost sister! HAHA

You are simply amazing for expressing yourself sooo well, even when being beautifully cryptic! Focusing on yourself is wonderful - DO IT!!!!

And although I just adore your blog, stories, moments you share and of course your book recommendations (cause I LOVE a good book to hide in!)... we can all wait!

Sending you hugs ((( )))! and a classic book recommendation: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. It is NOT a self-help just a powerful, easy read about the importance of following our heart and understanding our importance!

Peace Up! (Borrowed that from you!)
Christine

michelle m said...

hang in there...

Lindsay Elizabeth said...

I'm impressed that you took your feelings and wrote about them, albeit cryptic. Hope it made you feel better and more importantly I hope that you ARE better.

I'm so glad I've found this blog and am equally glad that you're so forthright with your readers!

Smile, we'd read the blog with or without giveaways :)

Hally said...

See Manic?!?! All your readers say,
"143! Manic, 143!"
Hang in there, Hon.