Monday, October 08, 2012
Hi everyone, I know it's taken a long while for this an again, I'm really sorry. Some days I think I need to take this blog back to where it was originally, where I just was MaNiC MoMMy because that's what I am feeling these days -- quite literally manic. Days are not very good at all. Last week Luke had a very bad day with this thing we call epilepsy.
On Monday he had five grand mal seizures in one day. That has never happened to him. He's had one in a day, which is enough to freak us out and make us all stop breathing, but imagine five? I won't go into the details but by the third one, we called 911. We spent the night in the hospital, we've added another drug, which he is not responding well to. He doesn't sleep alone, he can't shower by himself, can't go into the bathroom alone, without us calling for him to see if he's OK. I follow him like a hawk. I don't take care of myself anymore. And I don't even care. I just want him to go six weeks without a seizure, and six weeks of staying in school and feeling good. Six weeks of no headache or vomiting, and then I will start to breathe again.
I don't know if I will keep up with this blog. Honestly, how important are books? When this stuff is going on with my child. I can't read. I can't think. I feel bad but I sleep a lot to escape thinking about life. I realize these are classic signs of depression. I realize that if I just went outside for some fresh air, maybe took a walk, and then a shower, start my days out a little bit differently, then maybe they wouldn't suck so bad.
I just want him better.
But anyway, that is where I am at THIS MOMENT. Maybe next week we will get through it without any drama, and I will feel good, and he will feel good and I will pick up a book and say, "I've got to tell my blogger friends about this one!" and I will come back here and maybe you will check in and I'll have one to give away to you. I hope so, I really do hope so! In the meantime, I do have TWO COPIES to give to TWO winners of Sarah Jio's Blackberry Winter, which I did read and DID LOVE, and it is now a NYT bestseller, so if you didn't win it, you MUST go out and buy it. As well as her others, because she is an amazing writer, and you don't want to miss her books.
Here are the two lucky winners... who I know are long-time blog readers because I recognize their blog names! Please email me at email@example.com with your full names and addresses so I can get your book to you both! Congrats on winning Blackberry Winter!
And thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope things will get better and that I won't NOT be able to post! I love reading and writing, and blogging and sharing books, but I love Luke more than that stuff and I need to do what I can to make sure he is doing the best he can be!