All the Lonely People
By Jess Riley
Jess Riley is a real life friend of mine and she's got a new book out just in time for the holidays, and let me tell you, if you're looking for a last-minute holiday gift, THIS IS a great book to buy. Here is my personal amazon 5-star review of ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE:
If you have a family and have EVER celebrated a holiday, ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE is a must-read! (So that means EVERYONE, right!) Who here does not have a semi-dysfunctional or completely dysfunctional family? I loved this book for so many reasons, especially because I could identify with the characters. Having a less-than-perfect family - not wanting to spend time with them, yet loving them just the same. My heart broke for Jaime's struggle with infertility, as well as her need to find the perfect family.
What you will find when you read ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE is that you're only as lonely as you choose to be. If you surround yourself with caring people, it doesn't matter if you're related by blood or by common interests, (even if that happens to be common loneliness!) as long as you enjoy who you're with (and don't answer ads from psychos!).
Jess Riley won me over with her Target breakout debut Driving Sideways. She's done it again with this charming, "heart-hilarious-warming" book that will have you laughing and possibly even tearing up a bit. Maybe, just maybe, you'll want to call up your family to apologize for some of the rotten things you've said or done over the years.
Here's the back-of-the-book blurb:
"WANTED: a whole new family to share holidays with. Please have a good heart and be a thoughtful, polite person. No sociopaths, no pedophiles, no fans of the Kardashians. We're not weirdos, I promise. I love old Steve Martin movies, new Steve Martin banjo tunes, Indian food, and reruns of Bob Ross painting happy little trees. So if you're looking for something other than the typical family dysfunction this Christmas, drop us a line." After losing her beloved mother to cancer, 37-year-old Jaime Collins must confront the ugly fact that she and her siblings don't actually like one another. At all. Fueled by grief and an epic argument at Thanksgiving dinner, Jaime decides to 'divorce' her siblings and posts an ad on Craigslist for a new family for Christmas. What happens next is a heartwarming, funny, and surprising journey to forgiveness and healing. Is blood really thicker than water? And how far do we have to go to find our way back home again? Dedicated to anyone who has ever wanted to unfriend a relative on Facebook, ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE is about family: those you make ... and those you make peace with.
If you'd like to win a copy of ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE (your choice — paperback or e-reader version), leave a comment on a funny holiday story. I remember the time my sister almost knocked my mom in the head with the turkey leg at Thanksgiving — yes, we too, are a dysfunctional family!
To double your chances at winning ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE, check out Chick Lit Central's post about Jess' book here: http://www.chicklitcentral.
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42 comments:
Oh yes dysfunctional christmas are my familiy favorites. I remember one time my brother decided to help my Mom out with dinner when she had gone to take a nap. He threw out a few things in a pot thinking...I'm not sure what he was thinking anyway he threw out her start on stuffing and she was furious. He had to do all the dishes after that.
Margaret(LiteraryChanteuse)
I remember when I was really little, my dad and his brothers got into a shaving cream fight in my Aunt's living room. The stuff was everywhere!
I remember many Christmases where there were several inches of snow, but my mom's family insisted we brave the weather to drive the 2 hours to see them Christmas day. Forget that we live in PA and had to drive over mountains, it was a must. Didn't matter if we wrecked or not, we were expected to be there!
After my mother-in-law passed away, I had to step up and actually cook..and cooking is not my thing! That first year, the ONLY thing i didnt burn was the turkey. Thats because my husband cooked it. Stuffing, pies,green bean casserole..all burnt. It was embarrassing to say the least!
A couple of years ago my mom and I made some egg noodles so she could take chicken and noodles to my grandma's. She had her broth heating up on the stove and when it was ready added the noodles to it. She walked away to do something else and when she came back to check on it, the noodles were gone! Luckily we found an open store to buy some and save dinner. We now refer to that dinner as "The year the noodles dissapeared!"
kndyer
We got our childhood cat for Hanukah but figured he was born around Thanksgiving. We named him Latkes because we thought calling him turkey would be silly.
-Donna W.
A couple of years ago Mom decided she was too tired to put up a tree and did NOT want us to do it. When we came over for Christmas . .she had decorated her pretty red step ladder with bulbs and garland.. .
It actually was pretty cute.
One Christmas my grandmother tried to have a "seance" and almost caught her scarf on fire with the candles. She had a little too much to drink, haha.
Thanks!
-Jessica M
walkingcorpse11@hotmail.com
My grandmother dropped the turkey on the kitchen floor and casually slid it back on the platter, carved it, and served it. I was the only witness and didn't eat any.
The year of the unbaked turkey...my MIL forgot to turn the oven on one year. We ate all of the side dishes for lunch and a couple of hours later had the turkey portion of the meal!
Not so much of a funny story as it is always a pain...every winter my house gets attacked with ants and I'm always battling to get rid of them before my Christmas dinner! This year, I got pest control. Fingers crossed it works!!
I don't know how dysfunctional we are... but last year was the first year we officially brined the turkey and that was a disaster.
kristen27
at thanksgiving this year there were two turkeys and we were competing to see which one was better! it got heated ;)
One Christmas, someone didn't put the cookies and candy away (it was in the living room and supposedly "safe"). My dog didn't realize that she wasn't supposed to go into the living room, ate the cookies, candy and drank the oil in my mom's floating candles!
Playing charades with my in-laws and watching my father-in-law trying to get us to guess bikini.
Hmm...well, last year I cooked the turkey WITH the little plastic bag inside (you know the one)!!
We've all done that at some point, right?! At least that's what I'm telling myself :-P
Also - EVERY.SINGLE.YEAR my MIL makes her pumpkin pies in advance (Thanksgiving and Christmas) and freezes them, and EVERY.SINGLE.YEAR she forgets to remove them from the freezer so the pies are never ready for the day's desserts and she sends one home with my hubs b/c every year he gives her a hard time and every year we have to do without pumpkin pie (at this point I'm not sure what we'd do if her pies were ready - we usually have backups ready so we'd have a LOT of dessert)!
The only thing I can think of is a couple of years ago, my daughter, then 2, pulled our decorated tree over completely and it smashed on the floor. She just really, really, really wanted that candy cane!
My dad was carving the turkey for Thanksgiving dinner one year and my sister went into the kitchen to pick from the platter before he was done. She said, "Oh this looks like a great piece of dark meat and ate it." My dad looked at her with surprise and said "That was the heart!" Oh so funny when it's not you!!
sharn3960 AT comcast DOT net - I'd love to win.
After decorating the Christmas tree, we turned on the lights and found out half of them were broken.
bn100candg(at)hotmail(dot)com
We're boring. We jsut eat, eat and eat!!
My sister brought her "kids" home and gave them gifts. They were actually tiny dolls. That she treats as her real children.
My sister & I were arguing at the dinner table and out of nowhere my dad took a big scoop of mashed potatoes and threw it at us with a completely straight face.
one christmas when a family member was in a "halo" (it bolts to your head and looks sort of like scaffolding around your head) from breaking a bone in his neck, we decorated it with garland and battery operated christmas lights. So festive!
nicole
The only funny Christmas story I have is when I was about 10 or so, and I had this stupid cat and it kept climbing in the tree...needless to say, my mom didn't think it was cute at all, and she kicked it out of the house. No more house cat!
OMG this book sounds too funny. I'm ordering it right now. If I happen to win the copy it'll be a great gift for someone in the family. :)
Every year for Thanksgiving my family plays BINGO for prizes provided by all the families...either hommade treats or random little gifts. One year a friend of one of our older aunts joined the family & even brought a prize for the game. When the prize was won however, the recipient was less than pleased to discover that the gift was nothing more than a half full can of air freshener wrapped in tissue paper. LOL Every now & then one of the cousins will bring that same gift just to elicit laughs from everyone about Thanksgiving's past. :)
my brother was probably 8 or 9 the year my dad gave mom one of those faux fur bathrobes, it was bright yellow (truly awful but so trendy back then..) when mom opened it my brother shouted "wow!a mink!!"
no funny stories here, my mother wants everything Perfect for holidays, therefore we can't have any fun, until the adult kids leave our kids with her and we go out drinking
It wasn't a holiday, but it was my birthday. I was elementary school and I bit down on something hard at recess and broke a tooth. I had to go to the dentist and get it pulled. I remember waiting hours before I could eat again. I wanted frozen yogurt for my birthday with candy toppings. No joke, I bit into one of the pieces of candy and busted another tooth! My Mom just about lost her mind.
It was the only time in my life I had ever broken a tooth so twice in one day was crazy.
Carly H
My grandfather came home very late one night and he was drunk! He knocked down the christmas tree.
I can't think of a really fun holiday story. But a good friend of mine met her husband on Christmas Eve. I always thought that was really special.
Every year at my Grandma's house we make a bunch of different kinds of soups for dinner. One year, my aunt Donna was making the chili and we commented that it smelled a little off. She assured us it was fine...until we sat down to dinner and my pregnant sister and pregnant cousin took bites of the chili at the same time. Oh my, was that chili burnt. The poor pregnant girls about lost it and we haven't let my aunt live it down yet...12 years later!
Every Christmas we had at my Moms's house was dysfunctional the last few years. She would get very worked up about preparing the food, so we'd have to rush through opening gifts, the help her in the kitchen. The hubby and I decided to switch Christmas morning to our house last year, for our kids sake, and it was much more relaxed.
My mother once became so frustrated with the bickering going on, she threw a tray of dinner rolls as she pulled them out of the oven.
We used to do white elephant gifts, and one year my aunt brought an empty Viagra box (she's a nurse). And who should pick that one but my grandma! (Grandpa passed away a few years before that.) Everyone was dying laughing, mostly at my aunt's embarrassment :)
Bjoneill74
One year, my Dad got everyone an Itty Bitty Book Light for Christmas, then got mad when we started to make fun of him. (See how I answered the question and still related it to books?) Hahaha!
Terri M.
I do not think anything super funny has ever happened and any of my holiday gatherings. We do laugh and have a great time spending time with eachother. No embarassing or inappropriate stories to share =(!
One year...all I wanted for Christmas was a stack of plates to break...yes...it was a tough year. So, Christmas morning came..and Santa left me a huge box of plates. My entire family (all 6 of use) went out into the driveway in our pajamas, put newspaper down, put a box on top, and smashed plates into the box...very liberating! I highly recommend it!
Extra entry: i red the CLC review too!
My family always does some sort of craft project on Christmas eve. My absolute favorite was the year we made Christmas angels out of tampons. Hilarious!
I remember the first time we had my husband's family for Thanksgiving dinner. A turkey wing poked a hole in the foil pan, the grease ran out and the whole kitchen filled with smoke.
Margie T
It wasn't funny at the time, but it's all good now! But we were at my in-laws house for Christmas Eve, and I was pregnant with my oldest. My (now ex) sister in law told me that I was going to have a boy and he was going to be bad because there could only be one good grandchild and they already had her!! Lol ouch!
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