Thursday, December 01, 2005

I'm Riding A Roller Coaster, Dudes.

One minute I'm up, the next, knock me the hell down.

That's really all I feel like saying, but I guess I should elaborate.

Two rejections today. One, a gracious typical form letter.

The other from an agent who I thought I would have a chance with. We had SO MUCH IN COMMON. She has three kids; I have three kids. She is an agent; I am looking for an agent. She lives in the United States; I live in the United States. Her first name begins with a vowel. My first name begins with a vowel.

I mean, come on, how much more could the planets be alligned?

Except, she didn't fall in love with my main character. She thought the "tone was too cute at times" and there wasn't "enough warmth and empathy." She did say she thinks I have a great idea for a novel and the "world is probably ready for a book about a woman who is having a baby just because she is pregnant, and not because she is necessarily armed and ready and trying." She thought my idea was "refreshing."

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I am thisclose to quitting my 'job' as a wanna-be-novelist.

Okay, maybe t h i s c l o s e.

Because, truly, I do want it badly enough, and isn't that (and a novel worth a shit) really all that it's about?

In other roller coaster news, An Up: I kicked some major ass in the shopping department today. And my philosophy when it comes to shopping for Christmas is one gift for so-and-so, one gift for me. One gift for so-and-so, another gift for me. So far, my Christmas is going to be great. I've got a new purse, three new tops from Old Navy, four scented candles from Hallmark (half-price) and a 16-month calendar that will all be waiting for me under the tree. Heh heh. I also bought a new pair of shoes (well, three actually, but I'm really only going to keep one pair), but these don't count as a Christmas present because they're for a wedding I must attend this weekend, where I will know no one 'cept a few fellow 'acquaintances' of Hubby's, and we all know what happens when I go to functions where I know no one. Be prepared for a fun puking-in-the-new-shoes or in-the-car, or on-a-hotel-wall entry early next week... Ha.

I also banged out most of the kid shopping, and Target should be thanking me very much. Ajers is on to the whole Santa thing and I'm getting sick of lying to him though. He knows. He's in second grade. He knows about the tooth fairy cuz I couldn't keep lying to him about that so I just told him. I could sooo never have an affair. I couldn't lie about it!

So, shopping went well, rejections sucked. I didn't eat too much today, except for half a bag of those Tootsie roll VANILLA Midgees, which are INCREDIBLE and I'm always sorting through kids' birthday goodie bags or Halloween bags looking for those blue and white wrapped Tootsie rolls, and then, lo and behold, I find a bag of them at Target. I ate about half the bag while I shopped, and then called my friend for shoe advice, which is a whole 'nother story:

Nylons, open-toed shoes for the holidays, no nylons? Freeze your calves off, get pedicures? Wear nylons? Cripes. That was a pain in the arse to figure out, and after searching for the shoes, which I've found and I think are perfect, and if I could find them online, I could post a link here, then I had to figure out the whole wear nylons/don't wear nylons, get a pedicure, skip a pedicure. Ladies, for holiday cold functions, what do you recommend? What's in style? What do you do? Probably doesn't really matter much 'cuz by 10 p.m. I'll probably be shoeless and puking into a plant.

Think Spongebob when you read this next line, in that funky voice when they're trying to show time passing:

Twenty. Minutes. Later...

(How many of you just read that out loud?)

I just realized why I'm all jazzed up. Before I took Tukey to Tot Soccer, I stopped at our neighborhood Starbucks because I 1). Wanted to and 2). remembered they were 'hosting' a neighborhood holiday open house and I figured there might be a chance for a free grandenonfatsugarfreevanillalattenowhip. So, I lock all three kids in the car (okay, folks, let me have it, but really, they are old enough now not to do anything damaging other than kill each other in the four minutes I'm in Starbucks), and when I order my grandenonfatsugarfreevanillalattenowhip, and hot chocolates for the kiddies, I am told "It's taken care of." And I, of course, being Manic Mom, play dumb and say, "Oh, yeah, you're having that little open house right now aren't you?" Clever, aren't I?

And I seriously considered going back on the way home to get another freebie, but had I had anymore caffeine I might be tempted to tell you all about the 'encounter' Hubby and I had this a.m. And we all know that's taboo because Mom wasn't too happy with the amount of info I shared on this blog, hence the new and improved 'anonyminity' here, plus the fact that I gave Mom the URL to the new blog.

Finally (and I'm sure you're all breathing a huge, freaking sigh of relief and your eyes are probably still bleeding because I continue to go on and on with this rant), I forgot about another "Down" on this roller coaster today.

BitchDoll will no longer accept public kisses from me.

And that, my friends, is an extremely low point in a mother's life.

5 comments:

J Holden said...

wow - you truly are manic

and perhaps a little insane, too, but that's probably a good thing

i'm tired from just reading that post

Kelly said...

I liked that post. A lot!
Crapvice for the shoe nylon thing:
If they are open-toe I would say get a pedicure and your calves with just have to freeze. Nylons with open-toe is just a no. Maybe it's just me.... but really. I'm gonna go with a no. Go crazy with the nylons with close toed.... except, for the love, make sure they are not white or pink!
As for Diva not wanting public kisses anymore... SAD!

cubmommy said...

That is a roller coaster. I am surprised no one has picked up your book. I do a lot of reading and I can tell you I am surprised what gets published out there. I liked your idea and I am all for what I call Mommy Lit which I think is in big demand. Agents suck!

Shoe advice don't ask me I haven't worn heels in I don't know how long. Sad isn't.

I dread the day when my boys don't want to show affection in public. That is very sad indeed.

Melanie Lynne Hauser said...

I'm sorry about the rejections, truly. There's no way around them, though, if you want to be a published novelist (and I don't know, I have a feeling you kind of want to be one??!). So keep going, keep writing the next one - and remember, I have THREE unpublished novels sitting in a drawer, that I wrote before Super Mom. (And so, I have a ton more rejections than you do. So there!)

Wanna meet for coffee next week? I have to get my hair cut on Wednesday; email me!

cubmommy said...

Hey Manic Mom, your welcome! I really meant what I wrote.

I live in Chicago. We might be moving to the burbs next year. Our lease is up in May and Big Cubby will start school in September.

I liked the Marshall Field's windows they were cute.