Post-Holiday Fat Girl Is Here!

Dinner two nights in a row has been frosted walls from the Gingerbread House and Diet Coke.

There is a need for Rolaids because of heartburn that hadn't existed before.

Can no longer look into a mirror at myself without scrutinizing the flab that's gurgling over the upper sides of the underwear...

...and speaking of underwear....

The need has risen to dig deep into the underwear drawer to find the "In-Case-Of Emergency-Wear-These-Bigger-Underwear underwear."

Tukey now refers to my backside as a "big shovvy butt," which translates into "big chubby butt."

Knees crack more than usual when climbing stairs.

Heart-rate speeds up more than usual when climbing stairs, or exerting any kind of mild energy.

Bras, while often usually uncomfortable anyway, are now extremely uncomfortable, therefore as the case being right now, are not worn.

I'm growing my hair longer - a diversionary tactic I've often used when gaining weight... fatter, longer hair; thinner, get hair cut short... and on the same subject...

I am rarely shaving my legs.

The track suits (pretend it's a J.Lo outfit) are out in full force, and jeans are only donned in extreme social emergencies.

The dreadmill is getting dusty.

Breakfast a couple of days ago consisted of a Seven-Layer bar and a Diet Pepsi.

I don't eat breakfast, but am starved by 1:00 p.m. (no need to comment on the importance of breakfast daily--I know! I know!)

During intimate acts between loving partner and myself, instead of thinking about the usual, "What am I going to have to eat later on?" I'm thinking, "Oh wow, I am really fat now." Oh, and still, the usual, "Please hurry up."

But, as bad as I am feeling about my Fat Girl Emerging, I'll let her stay for a few more days because she's not going to be around in 2006, I can tell you that for sure!
And while Fat Girl is okay for the time being, and while she has enjoyed the trips to McDonald's, the stacks and stacks of Christmas cookies and treats, the countless pounds of carbohydrates that have been inhaled the past month, she ain't staying because I've done it before, and I'll do it again. I have absolutely no problem kicking Fat Girl in the ass and telling her to get out of my life because...

Super Power Thinner Girl Will Prevail!

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