Why Is It OK To Do This?

I'm going away for the weekend with Diva, who is turning NINE tomorrow! My baby girl is NINE! How did this happen? Pretty soon she'll be getting her period and zits and turn into a bitchy whiny teenager. So, I'm taking her away for the weekend while she still loves me and wants to hang out with me. While she still thinks I'm the coolest person on earth. Because I can only fool her for so long. Happy Birthday Baby Girl Diva! I love you! You can read the story of her birth here. She almost didn't come to be. I'm so glad she's here!


And here are two stories I will share with you, the first happened a couple weeks ago when I was sick:

I'm sick right? So why is it that Mr. Manic's been out of town the whole weekend and he gets home and I've finally gone upstairs to take a nap because I've been sick. You've seen the video right?! I WAS SICK! I closed my bedroom door, put on comfy jammies, big thick socks cuz I'm freezing, wrapped myself like a burrito in five blankets and fall asleep.

Tukey comes in when I'm comfortably comatose, head buried, the door had been closed. He wakes me up to ask if he can ride his bike.

"Where's dad?"

"He's downstairs taking a nap."

LIKE WHY THE HELL DO THEY THINK IT'S NOT OKAY TO WAKE HIM UP WHEN HE'S ON THE COUCH WITH THE TV BLARING WHILE HE'S 'NAPPING' BUT THEY CAN COME UP AND UNRAVEL ME FROM THE COVERS OF MY SICK COCOON TO ASK ME IF THEY CAN GO OUTSIDE????

Is this in the mothers' job description?

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Then yesterday, Tukey and I are at Tar-ZJAY and I need to go get a water from the Starbucks so I consider for a flash of a half-second leaving him on a bench to eat his cinnamon pretzel while I run over to the Starbucks counter, then decide not to leave him. But then he says he doesn't want to come with me.

"You have to come with me. What if someone kidnaps you."

"No one's going to kidnap me."

"Someone could kidnap you. There are bad people in the world. You don't know what other people are thinking. Someone might want to take you away from me."

"Mom, no one's going to take me."

"Tukey, just get up and come with me, it'll take two seconds."

Reluctantly, he gets up and starts walking with me and I continue my kidnapping lesson. "You just don't know how things are, Tukey. You're adorable, someone could just want to steal you away from me..."

From out of nowhere, this lady, about my age, walks by with her Target cart filled up, and she says, "I'd take him home."

My response? Full of gratitude: "THANK YOU!"

And then I started cracking up, like Wait a minute! I'm thanking this strange woman for saying she would kidnap my cute kid? But really, I was thanking her for bringing home the point that there are strangers out there that could possibly want to take my cute little boy away from me.

Wait? I don't get how my mind works completely?

Anyway, while I'm gone this weekend, don't forget to share your first or worst or best KISSING TALE and Trish Ryan will choose a winner of her book, He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not: A Memoir of Finding Faith, Hope, and Happily Ever After when I return.

Peace UP!