EDIT: *as requested--the photo in question updated below --
Two things to bring us into a Merry Manic Weekend:
The first item of importance --
I was shopping at Target this morning when my phone rings and it's my mom, and she doesn't say hello or how are you, or anything.
The first thing out of her mouth:
"Tell me the truth. Did you get a BOOB JOB!?"
I'm like, "First of all, mom, when would I have the TIME TO GET A BOOB JOB and when would I have the TIME TO RECOVER FROM A BOOB JOB? Answer me that? When would I have the TIME?"
And not that I've given it too much thought in my life, but in no particular order of vanity, a boob job would NOT be the first order of cosmetics I would attend to if I had an indispensable amount of money.
The first order of business would be laser hair removal for my upper lip. Which I am seriously considering for the big 4-0. And then probably some ass liposuction, although I think I've mentioned it here quite a few times how much that skeeves me out whenever I've seen that surgery performed on The Discovery Channel, the way that wire piping gets shoved in and out of the layer of skin really fast to break up the fat. Nope, not for me.
Besides, I'm currently working on a bestseller that's gonna rival Nora Ephron's "I Feel Bad About My Neck."
It's called, "I Feel Bad About My Fat Ass."
If she can write a bestseller about the flappy skin on her freaking neck, surely the pockets of flab on my butt are worth some humor, right?
So, I've got to keep my fat ass. At least until I write the book, sell it, and become a millionaire so I can afford the liposuction.
So, NO, mom. I did NOT get a boob job on my FACEBOOK photo. That is just a very nice push-up bra. Thanks for being concerned!
Second order of business.
This is why I don't dust:
I notice some dust up on the light fixture. What do I do? Logic tells me to grab the closest item to me and lean over the banister to swipe at the offending dust strings. So, I do. The closest item just happens to be an undershirt, or as we like to call 'em, a wife beater.
So, it gets stuck up there on the light fixture. I think it makes a nice addition to our holiday decorations, don't you? I don't think it's coming down anytime soon either. I think I might need to find a red and green one too, just for some symmetry and color.
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Photo in question - see, nothing major: