So, today, and it’s only 12:29 p.m., I’ve cried three times.
This a.m. was my x-ray to confirm the Essure procedure I had done three months ago 'took.' This is where they fill your vagina with about a ton of hardware and then stick in a catheter and shoot up some lovely x-ray dye to make sure my fallopian tubes are now scarred over and blocked.
I can officially no longer, never ever again procreate. Man, that kinda sucks to write that and is bringing me to tears again just announcing this. It’s not that I want more kids. I’m 40 for crying out loud. I don’t. But the thought that I have manipulated my body into this state makes me sad. Maybe it’s PMS; I don’t know.
Before they gave me the vaginal hardware rape and the x-ray dye, I had to pee in a cup and they tested my urine to see if I was pregnant. I knew I wasn’t. I knew the test would be negative, but I kept thinking, “Wow. That is the last pregnancy test I will ever take my whole entire life.”
So, on the table, filled with hardware and some fluorescent dye, they confirmed my tubes are blocked. Unprotected sex abounds. Whoop de fucking do.
I got weepy in the car on the way home.
Then I got a McDonald’s vanilla ice cream cone and a $1 Diet Coke to make me feel better. I should have order the freakin’ fries.
Next up, I stopped at the pharmacy to get my migraine med and my synthroid. Insurance denied. We are going on COBRA, which, if you must know, is a pile of crap. A person LOSES HIS JOB and so that means a family HAS NO MORE MONEY, right? Then COBRA jumps in to save the day on insurance. But guess what’s the laugh here? COBRA costs $1,300 a MONTH!
We’re fine. I know we are fine. But how in the hell does a family pay that much money a month when a husband loses his job and then the poor family HAS NO INCOME or no way to pay that much money to have insurance.
And duh, with procedures like the one I just had this a.m., we need the insurance. I just don’t get how it works in this effed up world.
So, when I was at the pharmacy and the pharmacist informed me that my insurance card has been denied (because we are in that interim of getting COBRA set up), I start crying. Like I’m sure the pharmacist wanted to see me crying. She told me my migraine med costs $224 without insurance. OK, NOT BEING ABLE TO GET MY MIGRAINE MEDICINE IS GOING TO GIVE ME A FUCKING HUGE MIGRAINE, right? RIGHT.
I’m not happy today. Eff-bomb the world.
(Big shift from my previous GLEE post, huh?)