I went to yoga today. Didn't want to go really, have been lazy, but I ran into my lovely awesome instructor at the grocery store yesterday and so that was another one of those signs telling me that I should be there today. So I asked her yesterday, "If I go tomorrow, will you go easy on the planks?"
She said, "Well, I can't promise that."
I said, "Well, I can't promise I'll be there then."
Like that's any sweat off her back if I'm there or not.
So, I show up, and being the smart ass that I am, she starts the class by asking, "Before we start, are there any questions?"
I raise my hand.
"Rumor has it that today is No Plank Day?"
Everyone laughed. Even my lovely yoga instructor.
Until she killed us through the hour with about a million planks.
Nah, just kidding. She wasn't that bad on us. I just can't move now.
But what does this have to do with Johnny Depp you ask? Well, we were doing some downward dogs and she suggested we lift our right leg during them and bend them back toward our left elbows.
I'll pause here why you do that imagine thing in your brain so you can envision that pose.
OK, so you get the picture?
She says, "Just imagine something like a hundred dollar bill is taped to your elbow and you're reaching with your toes to grab it." So we do and all is fine.
Then we move to do the other leg.
This time we bend our left leg and she says, "OK, imagine something taped to your right elbow that you want so badly and you're reaching ...
I pipe in ...
"Like Johnny Depp?"
Class bust outs.
Teacher says, "Eww, he needs a bath."
Me: "I'll give him a bath."