So it's been quite a while since I've had a sufficient amount of a real dessert, way back when I shoveled all those Halloween candies and cupcakes down my gullet on November 1. Like approximately 47 days. And about 43 days since I've had a can of diet coke. Have I lost any weight?
Why the eff-bomb am I still not eating sugar and not drinking my most favorite drink in the world aside from appletinis you may be asking if the pounds are just not melting off?
I guess because in some sickening way it does make me feel better. In a couple of sickening ways.
First of all, I really like having control over being able to HAVE control over it. Sounds pretty whacky, but if we don't know that I'm pretty whacky by now, well then, that's another problem. I guess the thing about willpower is once you've got control over something, it feels pretty, powerful. Like you can say, "It's been 47 days since I've had a donut." Or a piece of cake. A cookie. A TCBY's white chocolate mousse yogurt in one of those awesome waffle cones dipped in chocolate with sprinkles all stuck on it. You know what I mean?
But if I don't think about it too much, it really doesn't bother me. And if I eat something else instead, sometimes that even tastes like WAY better. Like today, I had some awesome hummus and pita chips and I was like going way crazy over how good it tasted.
But yesterday. Yesterday I was really craving a diet coke for some reason. But I knew if I had one I would just be nutso and then want more, more, more. So I didn't have one. And I got through it. I imagine this is pretty much like what it's got to feel like to want a cigarette so badly. But without the fear of getting lung cancer.
Anyway, the purpose of THIS post was to talk about the no sugar dealio. And I started about saying how not eating sugar is good in a couple of sickening ways, the first being the willpower way. The second is that I remember how crappy eating a bunch of sugary sweets would make me feel. Like all sluggish and run-down and hyped up at the same time, and out of control almost. And just BLAH. Not that I'm feeling like running marathons these days, and not that I'm feeling like I never need a nap these days, because that's another story - I CAN always SLEEP! I have some degenerative sleep disorder that when my head hits a pillow or I go horizontal, KABOOOM! I can fall asleep anywhere, and let me tell you, I do NOT MIND this disorder at all. I LOVE this habit of mine!
But, the sugar thing. I don't need to feel sluggish anymore. So I don't think I really want to go back to feeling that way.
Today was a big test in the sugar department and tomorrow ... well, today was actually a pop quiz. Thanksgiving was a mid-term exam, that's for sure. I passed that sucker with flying colors, probably cuz I had wine instead. Yes, I do not consider wine as sugar. When YOU decide to give up sugar, you can make up your OWN rules to your own sugar game, but this one is MINE and wine is not a part of my sugar busting game, OK? Thanks.
So, on Thanksgiving, I didn't have a single dessert, but yes, I did have wine, and yes, I did have the sweet potato casserole, which did have brown sugar and regular sugar in the recipe. And YES, I felt like SHIT afterward. And sluggishly shitty. I don't like that feeling. I remember that feeling. It was caused by the sugar. (And the tryptophan, and the wine, and yeah, I get it.)
So, my pop quiz today was this: Tomorrow is the big neighborhood cookie exchange we have every year and I made these Pretzel-Rolo-Pecan Thingamagiggies. That's what I'm calling 'em anyway. I wasn't sure if I was gonna eat any or not. I figured if I felt like it, I would try one or two, if I didn't feel like it I wouldn't.
So that made me think I needed to try another one because maybe I missed something with the first one. So, I tried another one. Same thing. Eh.
It DIDN'T DO ANYTHING FOR ME!
Which did a TON FOR ME!!!! I was SOOO happy to know that I wasn't going to go on a crazy binge and eat the whole cookie sheet of Pretzel-Rolo-Pecan Thingamagiggies!! That I wasn't going to shovel dozens of them down my throat and grab a case of diet coke to wash them down with. I had been so afraid to try anything remotely chocolatey for fear that I would freak and go back to my old ways of eating that I had been avoiding everything! I DIDN'T BINGE ON THE SUCKERS!
I did, however, want to drink some water immediately to get the taste out of my mouth in case my tastebuds decided to suddenly rebel against my brain and decide that they wanted more!
Let's see how tomorrow night goes when I am faced with 40 different types of homemade cookies and treats. At least there will be appetizers and wine there as beautiful distractions!
Joy to the World, my tastebuds are dead!