Kids Are Resilient.
I used to believe that. I truly did. They bounce back from injuries like that. All three of my kids have had their tonsils out and the very next day they were eating meatloaf or chicken nuggets as if they hadn’t just gone under the knife. Kids break bones and come away from painful mishaps as if it were no big deal. They’re like rubber bands that snap back into place.
When we moved to Scottsdale seven months ago, everyone assured me that my kids would be fine.
“They’ll make new friends.”
“They’ll love their new school.”
“Everything will be fine.”
Yeah, some of it has been great.
But some, not so great.
They really miss their friends back home. Terribly.
They actually miss the snow. A lot.
They miss Chicago. I don’t know if they miss the city of Chicago or the idea of Chicago, but they miss it. A ton.
All of this, as a mother really, really sucks. Because this is something I can’t put a band-aid over. I can’t make this one better for them.
The other night, my Tukey came into my bed at 11 o’clock telling me he couldn’t turn his mind off. I brought him into bed with me. You know why he couldn’t turn his mind off? Because he is NOT resilient. I let him sleep with Mr. Manic and me. I will let him sleep with me all the days of his life that he needs to because I am his mom and that is my job. He’s my baby. That’s what I’m here for. To take care of him, and if he needs me at 11 at night, that’s what I’ll do for him.
Last night, when I was tucking Diva into bed, she began to cry. She said to me, “I know home is where the heart is, but I think I left my heart in Chicago.” No lie, this is exactly what she said. Does THAT sound like resiliency to you? Nope. That sounds like a kid with a broken heart who is missing all the things she was used to back home. That broke MY heart. I can’t put a band-aid over that injury. When will THAT pain go away?
Someone reminded me of the quote the other day, “You’re only as happy as your least happy child.” This is the truest statement I’ve ever heard. Moms can only be as happy as their least happy child. And sadly, mine are still finding their way here, and they’re not resilient, and they’re going through hard times, and it makes me mad that adults brush off kids by saying they’re resilient, just because they are kids. They’re little people, with big, huge feelings that should never, ever be discounted, and I love my kids to pieces and I want them to know how much I never take them for granted and how I want them to be so happy in their lives.
And they’re not right now. Some days yes, they are, but on the days they’re not, they are really, really sucky. And that’s what’s been on my mind lately. So that’s why I’m telling it here. On my blog. Because it feels good to share it here. Because it feels like there’s nowhere else to say it.
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