Tuesday, April 17, 2012

JEFF, ONE LONELY GUY by Jeff Ragsdale

A winner has been selected for this book. Check here: Winner Announcement!



Jeff, One Lonely Guy
By Jeff Ragsdale

Everyone has felt lonely at one time in their lives and Jeff Ragsdale is not alone. Ha. That’s funny. Because he is alone. Or else he would not be the author of the book I’m sharing with you on MaNiC right now, would I?

Jeff is actually One Lonely Guy, or he was at one time. I’m not sure if he’s still lonely but in October of 2011, he posted a flier in NYC that looked like this:



He received hundreds of phone calls, then the flier went viral via the internet and Facebook and he began to receive thousands of phone calls from people all over the world – he got calls from pimps looking to hook him up, and from lonely women, and from other sad people like him, others who just wanted to see how he was doing. He got calls from depressed 13 year old kids too. He answered as many phone calls as he could and returned hundreds of calls. He spent hours and hours on the phone, connecting with people.

That’s what he needed to do.

Jeff, One Lonely Guy is a book that shares many of the conversations, texts and voice mails that Jeff had with the people who called him. It’s an interesting story because interspersed with the glimpses of the people who contacted him, Jeff shares his own story - about the intense relationship that had ended between he and his girlfriend Kira, and about his lonely childhood where he felt he was not loved. He shares stories of very bad times in his life, and this book is a tragic tale.

But in Jeff, One Lonely Guy, we see a world where there is hope. Where there are kind people, looking for something more than there is – where people long to make a connection that may not exist any longer – the human connection that we can't get when we hide behind screens and are too busy to take the time to just stop and tell someone hello.

In fact, I just called Jeff.

Because I wanted to know if he was still lonely. I hope he calls me back. Except I think he’s not very lonely any longer. And that makes me happy.

(I thought this was going to be the end of my post....... BUT.....it continues .....)

Guess what? It's now about four hours later and as I was watching Glee, my phone rang. I sprang up, "It's JEFF!" Jeff, the lonely guy, actually CALLED me back! He and I talked on the phone for about twenty minutes. I felt like I was talking to someone with a lot of heart, and a person who really did care. Like if you called him out of the blue, he would LISTEN. Truly. He told me he never thought of himself as "being a listener" and he was a good listener. He said he never thought he'd be helping people, but he is. He said the saddest part of this whole journey is when 13-year-old boys and girls call him as if he is their last hope.

I asked Jeff what would he do if he woke up one morning and he never got any more phone calls. It's doubtful that'll happen. What he's hoping to do with his phone number is to turn it into a non-profit helpline, which I think is an amazing idea. I hope it works out for him.

Of course, I wanted to know if he's still lonely. While he's not in a relationship, he is "dating and meeting people." In fact he said he is probably going on a date this weekend with someone he's met through the flier. And for the future, he will be working on a memoir. He's such an interesting person, I'm sure a memoir will be a hit. I know I could have talked to him for a much longer time, and he was a kind and courteous guy - even asked me questions about my family! But I was sure he had MANY phone calls and texts to return so I told him I'd let him go!

Go like Jeff's Facebook.

Here's Jeff's awesome website where he updates it pretty much daily with calls he still gets. It's really cool. 

The Oprah Blog even posted about Jeff and his book.

Check out this video to learn more about Jeff's journey!

What I love about this book is that Jeff wasn't putting up the flier so he could tell people HIS sad story. I think he did it so he could talk to others and try to make them feel better, even if he didn't initially know that would happen. It was all about making the connection. I know that when I'm feeling down, doing something for others and not wallowing in self-pity always makes me feel less sad.

If you’d like to win a copy of Jeff, One Lonely Guy, tell me about a time when you’ve felt lonely. For me, it’s always, ALWAYS when we first move to a new place – so when we moved to Philly, and even when we moved back to the Chicago area from Philly, because although we had friends there, it was a new time in our lives, and we were moving back there with kids. And then, of course, my loneliest was moving to AZ.


Don't forget to enter to win the previous books if you haven't already -  

These Girls
The Wedding Beat
You Are What You Wear
How To Eat A Cupcake
 

Remember, MaNiC MoMMy is aiming to feature great books each and every week this year, and you’ll have a chance to win those books as well! Please stop by often AND MAKE SURE TO CHECK THE PREVIOUS POSTS as I’m now posting new books more than once a week! Open to US/Canada residents only, and thanks to all the participating authors and publicists for providing the books.

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61 comments:

Carly said...

I want this book! It looks so funny.

I sometimes feel lonely on holidays. I have a small family and we just don't have big holiday celebrations like we used to when people would come from out of town. I hope that changes when my siblings and I start having kids.

Carly H

susieqlaw said...

I also have adored my older sister. When she went away to college, she took a piece of my heart with her. A loneliness that despite phone calls, letters, care packages, and visits never, the gift of her physical presence was irreplaceable.

Susan

Terri said...

Even though I might be doing awesome things with my friends, family, or even alone, I always feel lonely the first day that my girls go back to their Dad's house.

And hooray for Jeff for trying to be real and connect with people!

Terri M.

msprimadonna67 said...

What a wonderful post--I love everything about this story! Although I'd love to win a copy of the book (and obviously, I've been lonely just like everyone else in life), I'd rather someone who is feeling lonely right now win, so I'm not even going to throw my hat in the ring. Thank you so much for sharing.

Bev V said...

I felt lonely when my then fiance moved from Ohio to take a job in New York. Yes, I married and joined him 3 months later, but it was the hardest (and longest) 3 months of my life.

Bev V (shaggy552@gmail.com)

TaraUB said...

I felt lonely for almost a year after my Dad died. Even though I was in a relationship with the guy who I eventually married, I had no one in my life that had experienced the loss of their father. It was very isolating. I was very emotional for a long time, and it still hurts nearly 13 years later. I think friends who haven't experienced that loss don't understand and think it's just better after the funeral. Well, it's not. And support is needed for much longer. Stepping off soap box now before I rant for much too long.

Kristin Shelburne (kristin.shelburne@gmail.com) said...

I felt lonely just this past week when I went on vacation for the first time without my husband (who passed away about a year and a half ago.) Walked into my hotel room and started to unpack and it was so quiet. But then, my niece and nephew knocked on my door, yelled HI Sissy! and we started bouncing on our beds and as always, I knew I was never really alone. But I completely understand how Jeff feels. I have been searching for connections with people ever since and really gone out of my way to get out of my shell. Not as much as Jeff, but I have made some great strides in friendships. Thanks for letting me know about this book. Even if I don't win thru you, I am planning on reading it! And thanks for your blog, I have read some really great books thru your suggestions.

Megan said...

I feel loneliest when I come back to my apartment after spending time with my brother and his wife.
Eloisepeaches

Emma S. said...

This book sounds so interesting. I guess I felt really lonely when I moved from PA to Missouri right after college. I followed my boyfriend, but besides him, I didn't know a soul.

CAnative said...

This sounds really interesting. I'm with you about moving to a new place. I grew up a service brat and everytime we moved there is always that feeling of loss and lonliness.

Nicole

Kimmi said...

I'm going to read this book whether I win it or not. What an interesting concept.

Lonely: The 2 yrs before I met my boyfriend, I had tons of friends and an active social life, but I thought I would no way ever find a soul mate. If you hang in there long enough...

jdstec said...

When I am at a party or event or in any kind of crowd of people and I don't know anyone.

Crystal said...

I am an only child. Epitome of lonely right here! LOL

I played solitaire and put together jigsaw puzzles (still my FAVORITE pasttime. and no thank you I don't need your help).

But since I moved in with my FI I get lonely anytime his schedule has him work nights and I'm home alone. I totally didn't sleep the first night he was gone.

crystal717

Melissa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Melissa said...

Oops! Second attempt because I forgot to throw my name up. Melissa Rem

Here it is again!

I think there are moments of being a stay at home mom that make me feel very lonely. Sometimes you can feel disconnected with other moms even though you are not "alone".

buttah said...

Actually, I feel kinda lonely right now. Not because I'm not around people or whatever, but because I have a lot going on health wise...I have hypothyroidism and am possibly going through menopause at the ripe age of 34. So I have a lot of emotional ups and downs about dealing with all of this. So sometimes I feel like I am the only person dealing with this, and feel like a prisoner in my own body and have no control over it.

Lizett said...

I feel lonely at the holidays. I have a big family and a lot of friends that have become family. We usually have pretty big get togethers so it is a little depressing for me not to be able to share all that love with a significant other.

lizett34@yahoo.com

Lizett said...

I feel lonely at the holidays. I have a big family and a lot of friends that have become family. We usually have pretty big get togethers so it is a little depressing for me not to be able to share all that love with a significant other.

lizett34@yahoo.com

Melissa said...

When we moved to NJ. I'd cry all the time because it felt so hard to make friends and when I did make friends, they didn't want to make the time to hang out.

Melissa A

Amelia said...

Sometimes I would feel lonely when I was living alone and I would realize on a Sunday evening I hadn't spoken a word since I left work on Friday

Kimberly Pearlman said...

I'm lonely a lot lately. I feel like I don't fit in my own family & now I'm thinking of calling Jeff just to snap me back to reality.

Dawn in CA said...

I always feel a bit lonely after a visit with my best friend that lives 7 hours away. Our families spend about two weeks a year together, and when it's over I feel sad that it will be another six months before we have that time again.

Joelle said...

sadly I feel lonely every day. I have the most amazing husband ever and know he would do anything for me, but I just have this loneliness that never seems to disappear. Maybe it is the fact that he is all I have here, I don't know...I just wish it would go away.

Katie said...

I feel lonely alot lately because my husband and I never really get time together and we are going through infertility treatments on top of it. It is kind of a double lonely. Hopefully there will be a light at the end of the tunnel soon.

Juliet Farmer said...

my family is crazy--literally. as the only sane one standing, it gets lonely.

Krystal said...

I am a stay at home mom of a 3 year old and an 8a month old. Even though I am NEVERget physically alone, I still feel lonely at times!
kndyer

Bernadette7 said...

Well....I don't think i've ever been lonely. I'm the youngest of 7 so I was never actually alone in my parents house. Now when I have time to myself I revel in the quiet. Also I never have to actually be alone since my sisters all live so close if I need company I just have to drive a mile in almost any direction. And yes I know I am incredibly lucky.

Susan @ The Book Bag said...

I think I have to agree with you Manic - moving is hard to do and is a lonely time. Thanks for bringing Jeff to our attention - what a great story!

Christina said...

I've traveled for work a few times by myself and I always feel very lonely being in a different city when I don't know anyone. I do enjoy an evening to myself but when it's my only option it makes me feel extremely lonely!

ChristinaL

Kristi said...

I feel lonely every day even though I am married and have kids. I have friends who I interact with but I always feel alone even in a room full of people. Part of that is my fault because I shut people out, I have to force myself out of my shell.

Tanya Quilts in CO said...

High school was probably the loneliest time for me!

Emily said...

I feel lonely almost every day. I'm at an age where it seems like everyone is married and having babies, building families, building their homes, etc. I am not. I'm single, and that feels lonely almost every single day. Not all day, but sometimes at night when I'm home alone and it feels like I have nothing to do.

Emily116

DaphneSFL said...

When my parents died. I'm an only child and we were very very close. Even though I'm married to an incredible, loving man, and have plenty of loving friends, I still sometimes feel lonely without my parents.

ludy2288 said...

My boyfriend moved across the country 3 months ago & I feel lonely at night when we would usually cook together & snuggle & plan our lives together...skype just isn't the samer

Denise said...

The first time I ever lived alone. I just wanted someone to talk to when I got home from work. I've come to love living alone, but I still miss my roommates (and get lonely on occasion).

Anonymous said...

I moved out of state after college for a job. I'd say that was the loneliest time of my life. I'd come home to my tiny apartment and just cry. I only lasted 11 months before I quit and moved back to my home state.

Colbey J

Stefanie said...

The last time I was really lonely was the eve of my 40th birthday. Although my dog was by my side and I had a fabulous time the next day, the night before was really lonely. If only
I had Jeff's number then.

Stefanie

DaphneSFL said...

Christina said...
I've traveled for work a few times by myself and I always feel very lonely being in a different city when I don't know anyone. I do enjoy an evening to myself but when it's my only option it makes me feel extremely lonely!

Christina, I feel that way, too! I hate traveling by myself for work..I always beg my husband to go with me, lol!

Kristen said...

What an awesome idea and story! Congrats to him for following through and helping people through this experience!

Totally felt lonely when I moved 5 hours away from home for school and knew no one in a big city.

Kristen27

Anonymous said...

Getting sworn in up in Albany, NY - I was alone by my own decision and when I got there everyone else had at least 1 family member or close friend with them. I didn't think it was a big deal so never thought to have someone come with me. The 4+ hour drive back was pretty lonely too. Jill Fay.

Lindsay said...

I spent 2 years traveling cross country every Monday - Friday for work. Talk about lonely...

Dani In Chicago said...

I feel lonely right after a break up. After I get over the guy, I'm not lonely anymore, even if I'm still single.

EBrowning said...

Moving was when I felt the most alone too. We moved from Missouri to Ohio when I was in 5th grade and literally did not think I would survive it. I cried hysterically for days.

Leslie said...

The first weekend my kids went to their Dad's for the weekend. I thought I would be fine, finally a chance to be by myself at home, it was retched! Going to bed that first night was the worst. I had never gone to bed alone in the house before. LeslieGC

lucy872 said...

Probably one of the most lonely times for me was when I went through a depression that also included anxiety. I felt like a stranger in my own world and very much like no one understood what I was feeling. Luckily I got help and was able to get better, but I'll never forget how easily I ended up there and how terrible I felt.

BrendaL71 said...

That is a very interesting book and question you asked. I'm a SINGLE mother for an 11 year old girl. She spends time with her dad and I do have lots of friends but there are times when I may be all by myself and I'll want to go out to eat or see a movie and I really don't have anyone to call. Most of my friends who are single don't have kids so they go out a lot. The ones that have kids are married so they are doing the family thing. So it can get very lonely sometimes. That is usually when I like to rent a sad movie and sit alone and just cry.

Erin G said...

I felt lonely when I first became a stay at home mom. I didn't know any other moms in my neighborhood; it was a hard time.

Margie said...

I sometimes feel lonely if all family members are out and I am alone for a weekend.
Margie T

equinn726 said...

I would LOVE to read this book - it sounds so good. As far as loneliness goes, I feel like anytime when there is a big change or transition, there is a period of adjustment that nearly always includes some loneliness. I felt particularly lonely when we first moved from Chicago to Colorado.

Books & Reviews said...

I felt incredibly lonely after my dad died and around the anniversary of his death, the lonely feelings return.

betsy_blixt said...

I recently moved to Boston from Northern California. I moved out here without knowing a soul or having a job. I've been here for 6 months now and every day gets a little easier, but it's still so lonely. I miss my family and my friends. On holiday's I don't like talking to my family because it makes me realize what I"m missing. I don't want them to think I"m being mean but sometimes it's a little easier to deal with it.

your invisible pixie said...

I always feel lonely when I think about my college friends. They all live pretty fair away from me, and I miss them a lot, especially when there is a night that I am spending by myself. Even if I chose to spend the night alone.

Ready To Be A Momma said...

I felt lonely when I decided to end my marriage with my husband and move back in with my parents.
Qweska8402

accidentalgypsy said...

Whenever I travel for work and come back to an empty hotel room. I have to keep the tv on nearly 24/7 to help ward off the overwhelming quiet and loneliness.

Ally said...

I remember being in college and single. I felt lonely at the time.

Kristin said...

I was very lonely after I had my son almost 2 years ago. He was in the NICU the whole time, so I sent my husband home with our 16 month old daughter at the time to keep her on a schedule. I spent the whole time recovering from my c-section alone with my little guy in the NICU. It lead to post-partum depression and an extremely lonely time in my life.

absolutahnie said...

the night that my dad died.

Bridget O'Neill said...

Like you, manic mommy, I've moved a few times, and each time, I've known no one. We've moved to Alabama, Pennsylvania, and now Minnesota. I've made friends in each place, but when we first move, like I said, I don't know anyone, and feel very lonely. We are now in Minneapolis and I've met a great group of women, and hope I don't have to move for a very long time!

bjoneill@hotmail.com

Anonymous said...

I was lonely right after college. I was suddenly working full time and my friends were not close by.

-Donna w.

Kelleyc said...

Back when my husband and I were dating, there was a time when we broke up, and I remember feeling so lonely and empty.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

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