Right now, I would take a Bear's life in a second. Throw me into a nice, dark cave and let me sleep until the middle of March. If I were a bear, I wouldn't even need my Woobie because I'd be so furry I'd be nice and warm. It would be quiet. It would be dark. I could sleep. I wouldn't have this damned sinus headache. I wouldn't be feeling so freaking fat because all bears are kind of plump anyway, and I'm sure that none of the other bears would look at me saying, "Wow, Manic-Bear sure could stand to lose a few."
I wouldn't feel guilty that I haven't exercised consistently all year long, and I wouldn't feel guilty that the three small things I wanted to accomplish every day aren't getting done (one load of laundry, treadmill, shower). I wouldn't have to be thinking about where I'm getting my next pizza because I don't think bears crave pizza, just fish or raccoons maybe.
I wouldn't have these stupid PMS symptoms or the onset of my period because ... well, I don't know why--I guess because I never thought of bears having their periods. But just in case, make me a boy bear.
I wouldn't have all these piles of unsorted laundry around my cave. I wouldn't have to clean the toilets, or Swiff the floor. I wouldn't have to go to the dentist today (although I think bear teeth are probably not as nice and white and clean as mine are).
I could just lie there, maybe next to my spouse bear and my three little cubbies and snuggle up with them in a nice, big ball of snoring fur, and sleep.
Yes, that sounds like a nice thing to do right now.
But I'm not a bear, and I am PMSing, and the house is a mess, and I need to go to the dentist and I need to stop craving a pizza and I need to get some work done, and I need to stop thinking about this book and agent thing until something happens. I have to do all of these things because, we all know, I am woman...
HEAR ME ROAR!