Saturday, January 27, 2007

I Got "The Question"

So, I'm doing some of my web-writing work and I'm writing a Romance Quiz so I'm googling stuff about aphrodisiacs, sex myths, love, etc. Ajers comes in right when a bunch of stuff pops up for SEX MYTHS.

Ajers: "Ooh gross. Mom! Why are you on THAT SITE?"

Me: "Honey that word (sex) is not a bad word, and I need to look up stuff for my work. It has to do with having babies."

Ajers: "So, you need to have 'that' in order to have babies?"

Me: "Yes."

Ajers: "So... You had it THREE times?"

Me: "Well, sometimes you have to do it more than once."

Ajers: "Ugh, you're making me feel like I need to puke." But he's laughing and I'm laughing and I think it's really healthy for us to be talking openly about this because I would hate for him to have questions and not feel comfortable coming to me. So, we're done with "our talk" and Ajers walks out and Tukey hears us laughing about something on the computer.

Tukey: "What? What? What's so funny?"

Ajers: "Trust me, you don't want to know. You can know in four years."

Tukey: "What? What did it say on the computer? Come on, tell me? Balls? Did it say Balls?"

Cuz he thinks "Balls" is the funniest word in the world and the most funny term for a piece of body part. (BTW, they know the term testicles as well, because when AJ was like two and he was potty training, he grabbed onto them once on the toilet and looked up at me and asked, "Mom what are these?" So, I told him. I know, I know, maybe TMI for a two-year-old, but I believe in getting the body parts anatomically correct... And I try to explain to them the other day when he was making penis and ball jokes that it's not something to laugh at and that is one of the most important parts of their bodies.)

So, this is how Sex Ed goes when Manic Mom is your mom.

16 comments:

DebbieS said...

ROFL I used to work for a big-name pet store, and one day a young boy came in to look at our small caged pets. He was about 8 or 9, but a solemn little guy with big glasses, in a wheelchair, and missing part of one of his legs. So when he looked up at the hamsters' habitat and saw a male specimen and gasped, "Is that a tumor??", I especially needed to not only educate but also reassure this child who'd obviously had some medical issues of his own! I cast about for some sign of a parent in the vicinity, but when I didn't find one, I simply said casually, "Nope, he's a boy, those are just what a hamster's testicles look like." And turned around for a second to "clean" something so that if I looked embarrassed, it wouldn't worry him.

But still! Have you ever seen a teddy bear hamster's balls? They totally do look like tumors.

B. said...

Oh my gosh. That is too funny, but very well handled. Sounds like you're an awesome mom!

Let's Pretend said...

That is too funny. Sex conversations with children can be very amusing. When my daughter was five she asked me why she had a little button on her vagina. I said "it's part of your vagina it's supposed to be there" She says "you have one too?" and I say " Yes all women have one" so she says "Well let me see it" I almost fell off my chair. "No you can't see it" "Why not I'm your daughter " I said "why don't we go on the internet and see if we can find a picture so you can see it" She agrees - thank god for the internet. We find a diagram and she is satisfied that the "little button" is indeed supposed to be there.


What was really funny about this is if I had let her see it, and my husband came home during show and tell... I can only imagine the look on his face as I tried to explain what we were doing!

Zany Mom said...

Reminds me of when I had the talk with my then 10 yr old daughter about periods (she'd started needing deodorant and bras, so I assumed it was just around the corner). We got a few books, and I told her I'd tell it to her straight. Life as she knew it would be over. Cramps. Mess. Bloating. I told her all sorts of jokes and we laughed til our bellies hurt.

And I have a son...

Manic Mom said...

Hahah! These stories are too funny! I need to see some hamster ball sacs now!

And Let's Pretend--what a great way to handle it!

Zany Mom--Diva gets B.O sometimes and she is SEVEN! She sees me when it's period time and I have explained a bit to her. God save me when the cramps and hormones take over!

Holly Kennedy said...

Manic mom, your commenters are as funny as you are! I love popping by and reading your posts. It makes me want to write a chapter into my current novel with this as the general "theme"... Too funny!
Thanks for blogging...

dating dummy said...

LOL! We don't have hamsters, but if you want, I can take a picture of some guinea pig balls for you!

And boys will be boys. Even when you're all grown up, balls and farts will always be funny. :)

Frannie Farmer said...

I also believe in getting the body parts anatomically correct. That being said ... we still say it's your va-va-va ....
And whew am I glad I don't have your job, there would be a whole lotta questions I am just not ready to answer.

Swishy said...

LOL ... why am I not surprised that Tukey's favorite word is BALLS? HA HA.

Lostcheerio said...

I think trying to stamp the hilarity out of sex/genital talk is really an uphill battle when you're dealing with little boys.

Katherine said...

Oh funny! I wish I had a mom like you. "Sex" was a dirty word in my house when I was growing up - not to be talked about! I think that is so wrong.

Manic Mom said...

Frannie--

Here at Manic's House we call it a ...
Va-Jiggity! LOL.

Also, AJers sometimes says, "What do you get when you cross Virginia and China?" Then he starts cracking up because he knows! Vagina!

marjorie said...

I've wondered too about people who don't want children. I have 3, my husband and I both wanted them except he wanted more. 3 was enough for my body to handle. I have a friend who has been married 10 years and doesn't have any children, and doesn't want to adopt or do anything medical to check out her fertility. Her husband has a son from a previous marriage so he is definitely fertile. She would love a baby if one came along, but she won't do anything to assist it. I find that a little strange, but I guess it's her business. I gave her one simple fertility suggestion which I had heard about, but I don't know if she tried it. Again, it's not my business to ask. But it does make me wonder about childless people.

kjamaupin said...

HAHAHA I laughed out loud readin this blog (and the comments!). Hilarious! I have 2 boys and I am not looking forward to those questions quite yet. I think I might defer to the hubby. He says we're done and won't let me have a girl, so he gets all the sex questions! HAHA :-)

Paige said...

Very funny! I cannot even imagine what it will be like when I have to explain va-jiggity to Avery Lane. Yiiiikes.

Bina said...

Ha! Love it! I've always told my kids the correct name of body parts and my 3 year old will tell me when her vagina hurts, is sore (her stupid father insists on giving her bubble baths even though I have told him not to).

I love kid talk. It's the best part of being a mommy!