Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Good Intentions Gone Awry

Yesterday:

Got up extra early to go for a power walk, but had to take Lovey, my "sister-dog," out to pee. Not a problem. She's been sleeping in my bed. After all, she is my mom and dad's dog, hence, my "sister-dog" so I'll watch her two weeks out of the year. It sure as heck beats owning a real live one for 365 days out of a year.

So, it's all good, I grab the leash and take her outside into the beautiful dewey morning.

Except it's not all good, because I get stung on the ankle by a bee.

I'm allergic to bees. The last time I was stung by a bee, I ended up with a steroid prescription, a couple of epi-pens for the future, and this published essay.

Go ahead, read it if you like. No really, READ IT!

I have since tossed the epi-pens, because they had expired. So, I get stung on my ankle, yesterday at 6:30 a.m., and think, "Oh, I'll be OK. If I'm going to asphyxiate, it'll take a while for the venom to motor its way up to my throat and lung area."

So, I go for my walk, but not before taking FOUR children's Benedryl. OK, so maybe four is a lot, but I figured it's CHILDREN'S Benedryl, and the directions said two-to-four tablets. Plus, they tasted good, even for the grape flavor, and don't get me started on why pharmaceutical companies even make grape-flavored stuff. What kid likes grape-flavored ANYTHING?

When I get home, I discover Lovey has peed AND pooped in two different spots in my house, on carpeting no less, and this does not make me happy. I clean it up, muttering under my breath, "Damn Dog." Her antics further reaffirm I am never getting one for our family.

Then, I take a shower and lie down for a minute, telling the kids I am tired and need to rest and that my ankle hurts cuz a big, bad, meany bee stung me.

Children's Benedryl R O C K S ! ! !

Two-and-a-half hours later, at like 10:30 there's Tukey again, my poor Tukey, settled on the edge of my bed, asking for breakfast. I'm seeing a pattern here.

I get the kids "breakunch" and we get through the day. I can't even remember what I did. Maybe laundry. Maybe ... maybe I really cannot remember what we did yesterday afternoon...

Oh wait.

It's all coming back to me. See it was such a crappy day I have tried to block it all from the memory.

Next up, I had to go to the eye doctor to get something extracted from my eye ball. Saturday night, when I got home, took out my contacts, and removed my eye makeup, it felt like a fleck of mascara was stuck in there. I rubbed it all through the night, woke up Sunday morning thinking, "Wow, maybe I should go to the ER," but then I put my contact back into my eye, and it didn't hurt anymore, almost like the contact helped to create a barrier between the injured inside of my eyelid and my eyeball. But, being the proactive gal that I am when it comes to my eyesight, and my health in general, I do make an appointment to see the eye doctor.

I drag the boys to the doctor with me. Diva stayed with a friend.

Two hours later... she extracts an eyelash that was growing in backwards or something, and I've got two cranky boys who have been punching and fighting each other in the lobby.

I'm yelling at them that "Damnit! We do fun stuff all the time. Do you think I wanted to sit at the eye doctor's for two hours! Do you want me to go BLIND!? Then how the heck would I drive you to all the fun places we go, huh? How would I be able to take you to the movies, the pool, the mall? HUH!? You think I enjoyed having a neurotic eye doctor poke and prod my eyeball, flip my eyelid all over the place and then jab it with tweezers?!"

Fun times, I tell ya. Fun times.

At least my eyesight is back to normal.

Back home, at the ranch, well what do you know? Lovey has puked in Diva's room. Chunky puke. I again mumble under my breath, "Damn dog," and I clean it all up. There's still a stain.

Now, it's time to take "sister-dog" Lovey out once more to pee. She ventures over to the side of the house, kind of where I was stung, and suddenly, yep, you guessed it...

Everybody, say it with me...

The dog gets stung multiple times in the face by a pack of bees.

Holy Beehive Batman. Apparently "sister-dog" Lovey had been digging and found a nest in the mulch, and she quite possibly was stung the day before, which may or may not have caused her to vomit. There were about, seriously, no lie, a couple hundred yellow jackets.

I ran to Target, and loaded up on the wasp spray and I tell you, the aftermath when I got through with those little buzzing demons, well, those suckers probably felt they had lost a pretty big war. No survivors.

I then jumped online and googled DOG BEE STING, and discovered dogs can also have Benedryl. And she didn't seem to mind the grape flavor either! So, that was my fun Bee adventure yesterday. My ankle is still swollen, it itches like crazy, and I will probably go to the doctor tomorrow for a steroid pack. But Lovey, well, she seems fine. I don't think she'll be digging in the mulch any time soon, though, that's for sure.

And yeah, while I'm not really a huge dog fan, she's a good dog, and my parents really, really dig her. Now that I think about it, I think they dig the dog more than they dig me! My mom called this morning to check to make sure I didn't have to take Lovey to the Vet ER. I just realized she didn't even ask how I was doing with the bee stings!

Moral of the story: You can EFF with the Manic, but don't EFF with "Sister-Dog" Lovey! Bee-cuz you'll Bee Sorry!!

Bzzzzz...

25 comments:

TTQ said...

You do have the Blunch theme goin on... I saw that term in the paper today Breakfast meets lunch =Blunch.

that sucks about the dog bee stings.. Our dogs have had anything that could or will go wrong go wrong. They take Predisone, valium, benedryl, baby asprin..alll under vet's advice and scripts. I'm sure the heck not sharing my xanax..otherwise I wouldn't have the patience to give the guys their meds.

eatmisery said...

I used to give one of my dogs Benadryl all the time for her allergies. It's one pill for every 25 pounds a dog weighs. My dog used to get 4!

And I find that 3 on me is La La Land Heaven. Heh...

The Anti-Wife said...

Nuke the damned varmints! Who needs honey anyway?

Manic Mom said...

Who needs honey? Who needs flowers? I guess they do serve some purpose (I write this as I am itching the hell out of my ankle)... Nuke 'em!

Colorado Writer said...

1. Holy crap. You should write a book about this stuff.

2. Lovey dog is the exact reason why I got rid of both of our dogs in April.

3. If we didn't have bees, we wouldn't have trees, and if we didn't have trees, we couldn't breathe.

la bellina mammina said...

Oh my - first the bee, then your eye, then the bees again! OUCH!!

Hey - hope everything's settled down now!

Monnik said...

I love that essay. It's good!

i've never been stung by a bee that I know of. My husband is afraid of them, but I just shrug when I see one. I suppose if I had to go through what you did, I'd be a bit more afraid of them.

Michele_3 said...

Thank Goodness for Benedryl!
Hope everything is better now!
stay away from those bees- LOL!

Andrea said...

While I'm sure the adventure is not one you'd like to relive, the article you wrote from it is awesome! I actually caught myself holding my breath while reading the article!

Sorry you had a rough day.

a life uncommon said...

Congrats on the published essay!! Very cool... and yes, I did go read it.

Travis Erwin said...

My wife once had a bloodhound that couldn't seem to learn porcupines were bad for his health.

Benadryl would knock him out for hours and then I coudl snip the ends off the quills(the barbs collapse when cut) and pull them out.

No moral to this comment, your story just reminded me of it.

Manic Mom said...

Colorado--YOu've made a good point on the tree thing.

Monnik--they really do hurt! Lucky you for never getting stung!

Thanks for the compliments on the essay. I was so angry at those bees for hurting my family! I mean, it's one thing to piss me off, but then to go ahead and attack my babies!!! No way!

Travis--porcupines?!? Where'd you live? A zoo?!?!

XYZinn said...

My mother in law just had to put down her beloved pug. It was like her baby. I think she was more sad to see him go than if one of her children died.
I on the other hand am about to get rid of our dog because of the puke in the house issues right after the carpet is cleaned!! Why do they have to wait to puke when my carpets have just been cleaned? It's Murphy's Law I guess.

Alicia said...

Hmmm, I say the dog saved your kids from digging in the mulch and getting stung multiple times in the face.

I often feed my kids Benadryl. It makes them drowzy, and when they're sleepy... I'm happy.

Ben O. said...

Ahh, Benadryl

Ben O.

Jenster said...

Ach!!! When our Golden Retriever was a puppy she got stung on her snout and it swelled up until she looked like a Sharpe'. We gave her Benadryl, too.

I'm really glad you were able to control your allergy with benadryl. That's very scary. Katie is allergic to most nuts - especially peanuts and pistachios - so we have an epipen for her. Thankfully we've never used it, though we have ended up in the ER. Scary stuff!

sex scenes at starbucks said...

Thanks for stopping by the blog. Your life is way more interesting than mine, but fortunately, my dog is house trained!

I've been in shock before. Not fun.

Swishy said...

I am allergic to bee stings too! WOW!!!

Soooo need to IM! Manic withdrawl!

Sugarmama said...

Yellow jackets are some nasty, nasty insects. I'm told they're most aggressive in the spring and fall, but I haven't really noticed that they're ever particularly tolerant or patient. Sounds like you need to stock up on more epi-pens? And have your husband poison-bomb them one night while they're sleeping?

Andie said...

I'm wondering how old lovey dog is that she still poops and pees inside... is she housebroken? is she spayed? sounds like she's trying to mark her territory.

Anyhoodle... Glad you're both ok! We give scruffy 1/2 a benadryl every now and then for his allergies... works like a charm!

Patti said...

little known fact: you can kill a bee/wasp by squirting it with soapy water. in the summer we keep a supoer soaker filled with such a concoction so we don't have to use the store bought sprays.

i swear it works...

Dan said...

Hi Manic Mom! It's been a while since I visited. I hope you are well.

By the way, I promise to never EFF with you or with "Sister-Dog". :)

Colorado Writer said...

My middle son got stung yesterday by a bee. I swear he cried for almost an hour. I dabbed some ammonia on it and made him sit with a bag of frozen edamame covering the swollen spot. A while later he was fine. But, now he's terrifed of going outside. Great!

In-Between Panic Attacks said...

I would say I feel sorry for you, but wait to you hear about my never-ending "The Terminal" style travels this week. Add a marriage debacle of sorts and a massive hangover and I have got you BEAT. I wish I couldve met you in Chicago, but maybe the next time I am stranded in an airline overnight it will be there instead of Denver.

Kristabella said...

Grape Dimetapp is the BEST!

I used to want to drink it as a kid. If it actually cured any kind of cold ailments, I'd still take it as an adult.

Or, if you know, it had like alcohol or something in it.