I'm sitting here smacking my gum, a mix of Skittles gum and a piece of Orbit Lemon, cuz I was cleaning out some little baskets in the kitchen and figured the best way to get rid of it all was to chew it. Good thing I'm not cleaning out the pantry or the fridge, right?
So, I'm smacking away, and blowing my big-ass bubbles I like to blow, and I started thinking about things that I hate, so here's a quick list of things I hate:
The fact that there are six random pen tops right here at my desk and I am going to throw them all away RIGHT NOW. Who needs pen tops anyway, they just disrupt the thought process when you have to remove them from the pens, right? So, they're OUT!
Next up, I hate getting bit by stupid little bugs that probably serve no purpose in our world. I seriously have two bug bites right now, and guess where they're located? One is at the very middle spot between my bra, and the other is at the very low part of my back, right smack in the middle (read between the "butt crack" lines here), and I have to keep itching these mother effers and they are ANNOYING me.
I also hate how it sounds when I chew my gum. So much maybe that I will do a youtube video right now so you can hear how it sounds. Hold please.
OK, I did it. Listen to me chew, and get a view of my office space. The dog is Lovey, my parent's dog. You know how well I do with dogs, so let's see if she's still alive when my parents get back next week!
Isn't it totally gross how I chew my gum!?!? THAT IS REALLY HOW I CHEW, I WASN'T DOING IT EXTRA GOOD OR ANYTHING, JUST REGULAR. Gross. I mean, you know how it sounds to yourself when you're chewing, like you're chewing in a tunnel, but then to hear it being recorded, HOW GROSS!!!
It's also unattractive how I chew, and I know this because stupid me was chewing gum at my wedding--how freaking classy is THAT? And on the video, there's me, in a white, totally '90s dress holding a cranberry sea breeze, which I miraculously managed to NOT spill on the dress, and then me, chewing like a cow chewing on cud.
What's cud anyway? Cow puke?
I'm pretty scared I now have the instruments to create Youtube videos. Who knows what will show up here on Manic Mom... Requests?