AUTHORPALOOZA Recap

The Answers:

Carnivorous Musical Gender-Specific Instruments.

Expired Carcass Fornication.

Female Self-Gratification. (Is there any other kind?)

Indulgences in literary genius, truffles that made their way to the floor, and then into Manic's mouth, and fine wine.

Whether or not our waiter looked more like Adam Duritz of Counting Crows (my thought) or the dude from Entourage (Swishy's), which clearly demonstrates our TREMENDOUS age gap.

The Question:

What are just a few of the Unpredictable Commentaries Discussed at Our Very Own Self-Titled Authorpalooza?

As you may know, Jess, Swish, and I have been waiting eons for the debut of our very good friend (it's official now, right? Cuz we actually met in real life!) Eileen Cook's novel. We met up with her last night to celebrate with dinner and drinks and then went to her reading and booksigning.

Dinner Group:


Eileen Signing Postcards. That's a prezzy we bought her! See what'll happen if you become our friend--we'll get you a big prezzy! (It's actually just a snazzy empty box--we had EVERYONE FOOLED!)


The evening was star-strikingly fabulosoloosy funtabuloso! Eileen is awesome, and generous, and humorous, with a cool accent that is neither a Midwesterny twang nor a Canadian "EH," although I did ask her to shoot me out one of those, and she did deliver!

She is very much eloquent and carries herself in a class in which I don't belong. Like Class A Classy Chick. Come to think of it, I probably could have been a slight embarrassment to her. Good thing I bought four of her books to make up for my lack of soivewafair. See, I can't even spell that fllaaaa fllasssss fllaaaaahhhh fllaaaaa fluffy phrase I'm trying to say. I could Google it but then it would make me look smart, and I'm too real for that.

So, after Eileen read from Unpredictable, which, if I'm not mistaken is climbing the book charts faster than... faster than... FASTER THAN THIS WOMAN CAN SPEAK! (Who, incidentally, we had the pleasure of dining with last night as well! Hi Ruth!)

Then there were more drinks and more authors, including a surprise cameo author visit from Jen Lancaster of Jennsylvania, author of Bitter is the New Black which completely rocked my world, because if you know Swish and me, being surrounded by authors is like being front and center at your favorite rock concert, with the lead singer oozing your favorite lyrics at you, sweat dripping from his brow onto you!

Except you can actually hear and have a conversation, but you can still get drunk if you want to (not that we did, cuz come on, it was like a Tuesday night!)

Eileen and Me:


Fast Talker/Actress/Author Ruth & Me Showing Off Eileen's Display:


Me, Swish, Jen Lancaster, Jess, Eileen, KB:


Cameo Surprise Author Jen Lancaster! Are you "Bitter" I got to meet her!? Ya Should Be!


So, we're all hanging out: Eileen, and Jen, who's upcoming book, Such a Pretty Fat, debuts in the spring, and Jess, who's FAB book Driving Sideways also debuts this spring; and then there's Chicago blogger pal, Kristabella, wine connoisseur, blood donor and witness to previous Swishy-Jess-Manic antics, and we cannot forget heiress awesomeness Jamie, the self-proclaimed lackey to Eileen, who is so very fun and cool, and Eileen's cousins are there, and Jess hottie bro stops by, and boy, if I wasn't happily lustfully married to Mr. Manic boy would I... ha, just kidding...

Anyway... A great night, with truffles!

And then, here's me, trying to make a nice first impression at the bar, hoping especially that Jen and Eileen won't hold it totally against me when I snatch up the last fallen mocha truffle from the floor and shove it into my mouth.

Just like that. From the floor.

I mean, yeah, it was the last one, and there is that five second rule isn't there? I don't care if I mortified Swish and Jess, and KB--they already know me--but the others there. God forbid if I embarrass myself by picking food off the floor, but come on, A MOCHA TRUFFLE.

Forgive me.

Me, KB, Kevin (aka Counting Crows/Entourage Boy), Swish:


Eileen's BFF Jamie (aka Lackey), Eileen, Jess:


Here's a really cute picture of my Tukey and Jess:


And another picture of Jess and me...


But where the hell is Swishy? Here's the scoop. Swishy had to excuse herself from the photo opp. Actually, she was busy elswhere.

Last I heard she was F#$KING MATT DAMON!

VIEWER BEWARE!



THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT!