So, my heart's all a flutter, cuz it's like Emily Giffin, my fave, and everyone else there is probably having heart flutter feelings too, but mine are different cuz mine are more real than anyone else's and they don't know her like I KNOW HER! They don't know that Emily and I have a shared history!
And get this. She walks in. There's a crowd of people. She looks FABULOUS in a gorgeous dress and you'd NEVER even guess that she has borne (born? bored? birthed, yeah, let's just go with birthed) a baby girl less than a year ago, and she walks through the store and sees me, and yes, she gives me a smile. And a wave. And ... and, yes, she says, "Hey Stephanie!" Like she's EXCITED that I'M THERE! TO SEE HER!!!
And I could JUST see like 80 heads turn in my direction as I whisper-smile-wave back, "Hey Emily!" I'm giddy just revisiting the whole experience! So she goes back to get ready for her reading and a couple people ask me if I know her and how do I know her and I think about it. Do I say, "Oh, I stalked her once" or do I say, "We know each other from online and from book readings" or do I say, "We're writer friends" ... who the eff knows? I don't know. So I go with the casual cool, "Oh, we know each other from some writer festivals and things." Ha, so then THEY think I'm really cool and possibly a famous writer myself. HA, again, just kiddin' in the event Emily reads this. I'm cracking myself up. God, it's good to be able to feel jokey and laughy again.
Emily comes out and tells a great story about how everyone thinks about the one that got away, and how her BFF (no, not ME, the OTHER BFF--her college BFF) was in love with Jeanne Pierre, this hottie French dude and she was thinking back to those times, and Emily just happen to be in France so she looked up JP (short for Jeanne Pierre for those of you short on brain cells today) ... and Emily spied for her friend and found out he was married to some big old French chick in an apron yielding a rolling pin living in a hut with chickens and scraggly kids all over the place. And JP wasn't looking too hot these days. So, that's the type of good friend Emily is. She goes the extra mile in FRANCE no less, to prove to her OTHER BFF that the one that got away was the one that SHOULDA got away cuz he was a scumbag gross dude. And he probably smelled too.
Then she did a great reading, and I video-taped part of it, but didn't put it on youtube, and I respect Emily's privacy so no video, but pictures later. After the reading, which I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE hearing authors read from their own work btw ... I love wondering what they'll read, wondering WHY they've chosen what they've read. I love listening to the inflection of their voices as they read. Emily did not disappoint.
During question time, I always like to try to ask some poignant, thought-provoking question that will WOW not only the audience but also the author of the book as well. Maybe it's the interviewer in me? After giving it some serious thought, I came up with a very unique question for the lovely Emily, and when she saw my hand
Again, stunned audience members were shocked to be witness to a friend of Emily's in such close proximity!
"Emily," I asked, with a dramatic pause for effect, "When did you discover that you and your main character share the same initials?"
Her perfectly plucked brows lifted, and she smiled. "Right now," she answered, quite charmed by my insight.
I silently applauded my genius. And then Emily told everyone about the blog contest on Manic Mommy and how cute the video was of the kids. Too bad I didn't come with a large supply of Manic Mommy magnets. Damn, sometimes I am just NOT on my game.
Then, the signing began. And Emily's hand must still hurt. She signed and signed and signed. And some people had the nerve to ask the booksellers to just have Emily sign their books and they would come back for them the next day as they were going out for dinner. HOW RUDE! I told Emily later she should have signed their books, "Dear Cate, Hope you enjoyed your dinner. Sorry you couldn't stay to watch me sign your book. Yours truly, Emily."
Why would you go to an author book signing and then LEAVE DURING IT to go eat? Seriously? Now that I think of it, and of course, I am too classy to have suggested this to Emily, but if it would have been MY book I was signing and I had fans who wanted MY book signed, but THEY had LEFT to go EAT, well, then, I think that maybe on page number 73 or so, I might have just spit in between the pages or something. Maybe.
So, there was this one chick there, who was quite the avid Emily fan, I'll give her props, even wearing a Matchy-Matchy green shirt to go with the book cover, which was quite cute, and I liked this girl because she got her top from Macy's (on sale, she told me) and also, her coat was from Target, which was also cute.
But then she started acting all "Emily-know-it-all" and I just had to shoot her down a little, you know, bring her back to earth. Show her who's up and up on the Em-Trivia.
So, she started doing a bit o' braggin' and then I went with the, "Yeah, well, did you know she named the latest main character after me cuz my middle name is Ellen?"
So then SHE goes, "Yeah, well my name is Rachel Darcy!" (For those of you
So THEN I went with this one ... think of this as a tennis match and me scoring BIG on this point-set-match-love-rebound or whatever it means to score big in tennis, cuz then I pulled out this one: "Oh yeah, well, my children are named Edward, George and Harriet!"
She gets this blank look on her face and actually says, "Who're they?"
DUH! Who's the Emily fan now beeeeyotch!? Those are HER children!
And of course, then she and her friends all found out that I was going out with Emily after the signing.
Uh HUH! Yes I did!
And it was so fun. And she's so cool, and I cannot reveal anything that would incriminate my client (ha, funny cuz Emily USED to be a lawyer, and that just makes me laugh!) Since she is from the area, some of her fun pals from high school, whom I originally thought one guy, Jim, was her hubby, and Michelle, was her sister, and I actually accosted them in the bookstore, because, that's just what I do. A book signing for me is like a rock-n-roll concert, only without the spilled beer and smell of marijuana permeating through the air.
OK, I just reread that sentence and now I'm starting to sound drunk and stoned so let's backtrack ... or Fast-forward or something ....
So, we went out for margaritas and some food, and hung out and laughed and dude, it was fun, and Emily's great, and her friends were great and fun and funny, and this is just how cool Emily is ... she took a taxi back to Chicago. She is so nice that she didn't make her driver hang out and wait all night for her and then she gets in a crap-taxi to drive her all the way back to Chicago. Of course, I had to read the dude the riot act, and perform some DNA tests on the taxi before I let her get into it, but the guy seemed nice enough so I let her go.
Emily ... you did make it back to Chicago, didn't ya? You do know you've got two more books to write that you're contracted for? You've got a couple more lame titles to come up with and I think some more matchy-matchy pastel book covers -- peach and periwinkle this time right?
Keep it real! And hey you, anyone out there who HASN'T read these amazing books--WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?!?!? And hey, check out her TOUR DATES AND LOCATIONS... she is the friendliest author and she'll pose for all sorts of photos and if you tell her Manic Mommy sent you, well, then, well, I don't know, she might actually run from you screaming, but still ...