Saturday, April 25, 2009

Condom Talk

I knew this would happen. We just saw 17 Again and there’s a scene where the teacher in the Health class was distributing condoms.

When we got home, Ajers came into my office and closed the doors.

“What the heck were those things they passed out in the class in the movie?”

Okaaaaaaaaaaaay. How to handle this one? I have to do it honestly, right?

So I took a deep breath and said, “They were condoms. They are also called rubbers sometimes. And it’s something a man uses to make sure he doesn’t get a woman pregnant.”

“Is it like a pill or something the man takes to stop the sperm?” (You all know by now that I speak openly to my kids about sex and Ajers has had the ‘talk' in fifth grade so he’s up to par on most of this stuff.)

“Well, it’s more like a thing a man puts onto his penis that blocks the sperm. Kind of like a balloon.”

He kept saying that was weird, and I kept agreeing with him, definitely seeing it from his point of view. Because it is totally weird. And I don’t know if he really grasps the whole thing right now, and I considered showing him one but thought better of it. (I think there is a very expired one in our closet.)

I told him that actually, the first time I learned about a condom was in fifth grade too, when I was on the bus, some kids were talking about them. I also told him he is NOT to discuss this stuff with his siblings or his friends.

“Has dad ever used one?”

I wasn’t going to lie so I said yes.

“So that means you and dad really did it more than three times?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Ewww,” he said.

“I know. It sounds gross,” I said.

“Yep,” he agreed. “I just don’t want to think about my parents doing that stuff.”

“Yeah, I know,” I said. "It grosses me out to think of my parents doing it. They do it still.”

“EWWW! They’re like 60!”

“I know, but when you love someone, you do that to show them you love them.”

I asked him if he had any more questions about it, and I think that was enough to gross him out for a while. I told him he could come to me any time if he thinks of more questions to ask.

So, that’s that.

30 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow very well done. You handled the situation like a pro. Its great your kids can come to you and be so open. Its a testament to you and your husband. Congrats!

Andi said...

Bravo! Very well done! My son is 14 on Saturday and he and I have had wonderful sex conversations in the car on the way to school. Embarassing, yes, but it was worth it that he trusts me enough to talk to me. Awesome work, Steph...*hugs*

morninglight mama said...

You are incredible-- very, very well done.

Melisa with one S said...

Good job, Steph! It's obvious that he feels comfortable talking to you about sex, and that's a fabulous thing. :)

Judy said...

Coming out from under my lurking rock to say, "ya done good, kid." It's never easy being honest with kids about things like that, but it's oh-so-important. And I love the "Oh, so you really DID do it more than three times." Classic.

Going back to my rock now...have a good one.

Judy said...

Coming out from under my lurking rock to say, "ya done good, kid." It's never easy being honest with kids about things like that, but it's oh-so-important. And I love the "Oh, so you really DID do it more than three times." Classic.

Going back to my rock now...have a good one.

MaBunny said...

You handled that one very good Steph! My daughter actually found a condom wrapper under our bed that we missed.... she picked it up - looked at me and said um, mom? forget something?
of course I just about had a heart attack - yes she knows about them, but I don't think shes quite grasped the idea either, lol.

My Two Army Brats said...

LoL! I sure hope I can handle the talks so well with the naughty little blonde boys that call me mommy! Hopefully I have a little time before that happens but they are quite the little question askers!

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

I'm waiting for him to think about it more and come to me and ask like HOW DOES IT WORK or something crazy like that! That might stump me.

Judy, thanks for coming out of lurkdom! I love it when readers comment so appreciate it! :)

Kate said...

Good job!! My favorite part, of course: “So that means you and dad really did it more than three times?”

Hahahaha, kid. If you only knew. And of course, I still think that the thought of my parents having sex is icky.

Eileen said...

You could give him major trauma by showing him a condom on a banana. That should leave some scars.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Eileen--In the movie Juno they do exactly that, and my daughter was watching snippets of it and said, WHAT WAS THAT? I quickly changed the subject on that one. SHE does not need to know about this stuff. Definitely not ready!

The Stiletto Mom said...

Wow...you are the champ. We are almost at the point of having the talk and I am scared to death of it. I'm going to force myself though because I do want them to feel comfortable asking me anything...no matter how hard it is to answer. Well done, you are my hero!

The Stiletto Mom said...

Oh hi...me again. I just went and read your posts you linked. Do you sell T Shirts? Because I'd like to become a member of your fan club.

Also, I'm wondering if you would like an all expense paid trip to Texas? BC I don't think I can handle this...

Amanda said...

This made me laugh. Just got back from my BIL wedding. We "decorated" his car for him - seemed like a good idea at the time - but as it was spur of the moment had to improvise so balloons by durex it was.

Jenn said...

Oh have I got a story.... My daughter is 14 and a few years ago (2 maybe) her health class was shown, with parent's permission,condoms and other safe sex paraphernalia.So home she comes, bursting of junior high drama and wait! what is that!! on the kitchen counter no less!!! Mother! what the heck is that ?OhmyGod what is that in the kitchen!!!I run in the kitchen expecting to see a spider making himself a sandwich and on the counter is a ...wait for it... packet of Raman seasoning...At least she was paying attention in class.
Best,
Jenn

March to the Sea said...

great job manic!

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Jenn, HILARIOUS about the ramen seasoning. Totally looks like a condom wrapper!

Kim Stagliano said...

FANTASTIC. Knowledge can not hurt a child. And boys become young men quickly. I don't believe in hiding info from kids - although filtering it and keeping it at their level is important. Like not not mentioning the little vibrators on condoms, that was smart. :)

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Kim, WHAT CONDOM HAS A LITTLE VIBRATOR ATTACHED AND WHERE CAN I GET ONE!!! LOL

LEADS said...

You are really brave to do this. Because this is not so easy to tell this to the kids but I know we have to give them the knowledge. Thanks for posting.

Bina said...

I can't stop laughing at the "so you and dad did it more than three times?"

LOL LOL LOL

T with Honey said...

I really admire your ability to instill enough of a grossness factor to deter him from being interested while not going so far that he'll need therapy to deal with the information overload from his mom. Bravo!

Kim Stagliano said...

Trojan - they advertise on the satellite stations. I no longer use/need condoms! Or check out adam and eve dot com. Whoa!!!

Wendy said...

Well done!

After we had the talk with Glenn I asked if he had any questions we didn't cover. He said he couldn't think of any because he was too sick to his stomach.

Kirsten said...

You damaged him for life, now not only does he have to think about mom and dad doing it, but grandma and grandpa too!

I actually think you handled it very well. i'm dreading that talk when the time comes.

Michelle said...

See, at least I know my parents only did it twice. No condoms in our house ;)

Oh, and I keep meaning to ask you. How's the Essense thing (ok, I forget what it's called) working out for you? I just remembered finally when you mentioned the expired condom.

OH! And what happened to you on Monday? I thought you were going to join us after your meeting?

Kristi said...

Great article. I too took my kids to see Seventeen Again. While I haven't had any questions about the condom scene, my 12 year son has busted out with "Use a condom everytime!" Best, K

mlm leads said...

Congrats!!! You handle the situation very carefully and well explained. Your like a "SEX GURU" now. that's good also that you teach your child on that stuff as early as they can be for them not to be curious.

Valerie said...

That is very funny he asked if you did it more than 3 times. i hope that I can be as honest with my boy when he asks questions about sex. It's a hard topic to discuss.