Condom Talk

I knew this would happen. We just saw 17 Again and there’s a scene where the teacher in the Health class was distributing condoms.

When we got home, Ajers came into my office and closed the doors.

“What the heck were those things they passed out in the class in the movie?”

Okaaaaaaaaaaaay. How to handle this one? I have to do it honestly, right?

So I took a deep breath and said, “They were condoms. They are also called rubbers sometimes. And it’s something a man uses to make sure he doesn’t get a woman pregnant.”

“Is it like a pill or something the man takes to stop the sperm?” (You all know by now that I speak openly to my kids about sex and Ajers has had the ‘talk' in fifth grade so he’s up to par on most of this stuff.)

“Well, it’s more like a thing a man puts onto his penis that blocks the sperm. Kind of like a balloon.”

He kept saying that was weird, and I kept agreeing with him, definitely seeing it from his point of view. Because it is totally weird. And I don’t know if he really grasps the whole thing right now, and I considered showing him one but thought better of it. (I think there is a very expired one in our closet.)

I told him that actually, the first time I learned about a condom was in fifth grade too, when I was on the bus, some kids were talking about them. I also told him he is NOT to discuss this stuff with his siblings or his friends.

“Has dad ever used one?”

I wasn’t going to lie so I said yes.

“So that means you and dad really did it more than three times?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Ewww,” he said.

“I know. It sounds gross,” I said.

“Yep,” he agreed. “I just don’t want to think about my parents doing that stuff.”

“Yeah, I know,” I said. "It grosses me out to think of my parents doing it. They do it still.”

“EWWW! They’re like 60!”

“I know, but when you love someone, you do that to show them you love them.”

I asked him if he had any more questions about it, and I think that was enough to gross him out for a while. I told him he could come to me any time if he thinks of more questions to ask.

So, that’s that.