We ReMeMBeR

This is what I wrote in my journal on September 11, 2001, when Tukey was just nine days old.

September 11, 2001
Today is an extremely sad day for our country. An unbelievable thing happened killing thousands and thousands of people. Terrorist hijackers crashed airplanes into the two World Trade Center buildings in NY and they exploded and collapsed killing thousands. Then, two more planes went down, one crashing into the Pentagon in DC and one near Pittsburgh. It has been a surreal day and I can’t even explain my feelings. The images on TV have left me crying and confused. What kind of crazy people could want to do this? Our country is really under attack – all airlines in the US closed down, schools, gov’t buildings, amusement parks, monuments, everything has been closed down. It is so scary to think what could happen next. Are we safe in our own home? Should I worry about sending Ajers to preschool or going to the grocery store or to a park? Where is the next target?

I get scared and sad mostly for my babies. I want more than anything in the world to keep them safe from the dangers of the world. I cried a little today and explained what I could to Ajers. That bad people crashed a plane into a building and hurt a lot of people. I think he thinks a crash is cool cuz he plays with Rescue Heroes and was asking if firemen and policemen were there and did they call 911?

This is the most tragic and devastating thing to ever happen to the United States of America and I hope it is over and that nothing like this ever happens again. I am sure we are going to go to war with Afganistan and whoever else did this. When you kids are older and read these journals, this stuff will be written in your history books. I can’t even believe our country is going through this right now.

I just called my mommy and daddy. We are all safe and sound. Dear God, please keep us safe from the dangers of the world and continue to let us be a loving, kind, caring, close family. Please spare us from any harm and pain and danger. Keep my babies safe so I can raise them to experience the good the world has to offer. Amen, and thank you for what you have given to us so far. Just keep my family in your loving arms. They are the most important thing to me. Nothing else matters but my family. Amen and please help the families of all the victims survive this horror. Amen.

Sept. 13, 2001
Two days after the hijacking attack and things are still very strange, obviously. There are a ton of American flags being hung at halfmast, I don’t even know how to write about what’s been going on. There are some horrific photos – people jumping from the Towers. They chose to die by fire or by jumping. I do not know what I would do in that situation. I keep thinking if the hijackers only had boxcutters and knives for weapons, couldn’t 10 or 20 or 30 passengers attack them or were they holding knives at a flight attendant threatening to kill? Couldn’t someone bash them over the head with a laptop? I think from now on, cockpits should be completely inaccessible even to flight attendants and huge metal locked doors should keep the pilots safe. I wondered what would it have been like had they crashed the statue of liberty? They wouldn’t have gotten so many victims which is why they aimed for the Towers. It’s like a war zone in NYC. Ash everywhere, people in masks. I think they found some survivors today but they also have 30,000 body bags of dead people. Each of those persons has a story behind their lives. It’s completely unbelievable. Many things have been canceled or postponed – sporting events, concerts, etc. Mr. and I went out to dinner tonight and there was a weird guy there and I wondered, “Could he be there to do something bad to us?” I wondered how safe were we at that restaurant? I’m going to think this way for a long time. Last night I cried a lot. Today, the kids and I went to the mall and we put $ in a can to help the Red Cross. Ajers was concerned that I was going to start crying again. It’s been tough to think about all of this stuff. I just want my babies to be safe.

Tukey has been an angel so far. No trouble at all. His brother and sister adore him and are adjusting pretty well. We’ll see if things change when their grandparents leave Saturday. That’s when reality hits.

All for now, God Bless America and please keep us safe. Keep the victim’s families in your arms.