Sunday, September 05, 2010

THe eX FiNDs MR. MaNiC oN FaCeBooK



To FRieND oR NoT To FRieND?

Only a matter of time that this would happen. And I found her years ago. Mr. Manic has only been on Facebook about six weeks, and we knew of course that it would only be a matter of time when Barbie (not her real name but one I invented for her when I was 20 -- sorry "Barbie," but believe me, that was a compliment to you, and if you're a smart enough gal, you're reading this right now because *I'm* a smart enough girl and I know LOADS and LOADS of stuff about my ex's wife ... like the fact that she once had a bird tattoo that she got removed and then she tried to sue the tattoo remover for not doing it right, and I know who her brother is, and I know when her family comes into town to celebrate Christmas, and I know that her daughter takes dance lessons, and that the ex and I would have never worked out because they like to camp outdoors --- EWWWW --- and that he drives a motorcycle --- EWWWW again ... but, this is not a post about ME stalking MY ex, this is a post about Mr. Manic's ex finding him.

See, really, I am not crazy, I'm just pointing out the obvious. And the obvious is that in this day and age of technology, I think that EVERYONE looks up the old ones on the internet to see whatever became of them. And it's not because they want them back. It's just because they want to know how they are doing. Or to let them know they are so much better without them, and their lives turned out a million times more awesome since the time she and the other girl walked in on him and confronted him at the same time for his cheating ways ... Oh, but never mind. Mr. Manic was young and didn't know what he wanted. And well, that was obviously because he hadn't met ME yet, so of course he didn't know what he wanted yet because I wasn't yet in the picture.

SO. Anyway. Yesterday. Mr. Manic shows me his Blackberry and says, "OK, how do I handle this one?" And it was Barbie, requesting his Friendship on FB.

I laughed. Took her long enough. But if it were me requesting an ex on FB, which I have done, and have exes on FB, I would have sent a note along with it, something along the lines of, "Hey, FB suggested we be friends, hahah, so how are you?" And then leave it at that.

She didn't say anything.

So Mr. Manic asked me my advice. How about that? Isn't that so cute that he wanted to know what he should do? I love him for that! First we went through all her photos. The ones we could see, and we surmised a few things. They were all headshots she took of herself. There were a couple of some cute kids.

The advice I gave him was the "three-day" dating rule. Haha. I am such a guy on this one. Make her stew a little bit. You know, don't call a girl after the first date. Make her wonder if he's gonna accept her friendship. Because if he jumps right into it, then BAM! She thinks he's unhappy in his marriage. And he's not. Even though I have been sad with the recent move to AZ, he's definitely NOT unhappy with ME. So if he were to ACCEPT FRIENDSHIP right away, red flags. Of course she deserves to know how he's been. I think they dated like 3-4 years. I know they were serious. They were high school sweethearts. I totally respect that, and I think if she's got some things she wants to know about his life, she deserves to have them answered. Or if she wants to know what he's been up to, he can tell her. I've got absolutely no hang ups about that. But not the second she friends him.

So then today, I decide, "Hmmm, when he friends her, I've got to make sure all the pictures on his FB page are looking good." And yeah. It just so happens that I set up his FB account. So, anytime I want, I can go in there. Barbie, you are warned. And again, if she's a smart enough chick, she could have been reading this blog for the past six years and known EVERYTHING about Mr. and me, and our kids that she ever wanted to know. It's OBVIOUS I keep no secrets. So, I go into Mr. Manic's FB account and put up a bunch of flattering photos. Even if they are a couple years back. Why not. I've gotta make sure what's mine is mine! hahahah. I am totally being sarcastic here with my attitude! But yep I did. So there is a nice bunch of pictures for her to enjoy when he's ready to Friend her so she can see what Mr. Manic has been up to.

So when I was done putting up all the photos, which I didn't tell Mr. Manic I was doing, and he was in the other room ... I went into the living room. And he said, "Now that you put up all those new pictures, can I friend her now?" Hahahah. I said that he can do whatever he wants.

So, we'll see how this one plays out. But just to be on the safe side, I have made sure that all my privacy account settings are in place so she doesn't need to see what my updates are all about, and like someone mentioned on my FB page, every now and then I may be updating Mr. Manic's page with posts like this:

"Am so thankful for my beautiful loving wife. God has blessed me tremendously these past 17 years!"

or how about ...

"Stephanie greeted me at the door in a skimpy little number with martini in hand. Dinner was served and we made incredible love all night long. I'm so glad I married the right one!"

After all, you can never be too careful! Gotta protect what's mine! Hahahah.

PeaCe uP!
Even though going down might be necessary soon ---

~MaNiC MoMMy

15 comments:

Tiffany said...

hahahahaha! I laughed at this. I love all of it! I agree.. whats yours is yours.. He obviously isn't going anywhere but can a barbie ever be trusted????

Hilary said...

I love it! My husband doesn’t do Face Book, but a few months ago a former friend /wannabe girlfriend of his emailed him to wish him a happy birthday out of the blue. They haven’t spoken or seen each other in about 12 years. I too didn’t let him reply right away. And when he did, I crafted his response. They exchanged a few other emails, and I played Freud analyzing her every word.

Barb said...

I found out that my ex and his current wife read my blog so I've sometimes got that in the back of my mind while I'm writing. I guess if they had a blog I'd read it too. Oh, and I also have a frenemy that reads it as well ~ gotta put some stuff out there to make her steam!

Melisa with one S said...

You crack me up.

Laura ~Peach~ said...

my hubby had a FB account for less than one day... His choice to open and his to close...
he of course thinks i am nuts because 98% of my true friends live in the computer.

SNORK at peace up even though going down might be necessary soon BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

~L0SERM0M~ said...

Big Daddy is on FB too. I don't think his ex has the guts to friend him. I wish like hell she would though, just so I could mess with her. I've checked hers out, she's one smart biotch. She's private and only has 1 picture. Just her and her kid. I have totally looked far into that, obviously her married life sucks ass. She can't even put a pic up of her and her man. You know the old saying "You can't make a whore a housewife"....bitter??? who me?? NEVER!

I hope she knows exactly what she gave up...I should walk right up to her the next time I see her, shake her hand and thank her :)

Shana said...

Awesome. You should go into Mr.'s FB acct, friend a bunch of your friends from his acct, like me, and then have a bunch of women posting things on his page like, how's that beautiful wife of yours? and you are one lucky SOB! You know, so it's evident when perusing his page that, really, it's all about you : )

Patti said...

Still cracking up at this! I have totally done stuff JUST LIKE THIS!

kathleen shoop said...

So funny--my husband's not on facebook at all...and it looks like I better put some family pics up or everyone will think our marriage is bad!!! Barb said she has a friendenemy who reads hers--that always irritates me when I know certain family members read my blog but don't comment and say, "Oh, hey I read it the other day--it sucked, it was funny, etc." they pretend they don't read it!!!

Grace Matthews said...

I laugh because it's fun, but I laugh harder, because I would do the same thing.

Patty@NYC Girl at Heart said...

You are just too awesome for words! :)

shopgirl said...

"PeaCe uP!
Even though going down might be necessary soon"

Seriously? You had me crackin' up throughout the entire post - but this last line? HA-FRICKIN-LARIOUS!!!

Barrie said...

The internet has definitely made the world a smaller place. Scarily smaller. :)

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

She found it! LOL! And I love the gal even more for getting a kick out of this!

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