Believe it or not, I get asked a lot of parenting advice here on MaNiC MoMMy and sometimes I’m stumped. Like this one. Let me tell you this story. It’s about two boys.
Boy #1 is a pretty good student and was recently chosen as Student of the Week. He received a letter of recognition that said “He has demonstrated a delightful personality but also has the leadership skills to help … his constant desire to be a positive influence in class is commendable. He has impeccable manners. He is a fine example of an excelling leader…” Boy #1 received an awards certificate signed by the principal and vice principal and was awarded gift certificates to local restaurants. He received this packet in front of the whole school and shook the hands of his vice principal and principal.
Boy #2 screwed around in PE class with another kid and depantsed him. The PE teacher saw this take place and sent Boy #2 to the vice principal. The vice principal gave him a one-day in school suspension and called his mom. While the vice principal explained to the mother that the child was very remorseful of his actions, and the kids were obviously playing around, the VP also said she will not tolerate that kind of behavior in her school. The mother explained to me how heartbroken she was, and how shocked she was, that her son would do such a thing, to bully another student, to humiliate another kid in such a way.
If I could choose one of these children to be mine, you can guess which one I would pick, right?
Do you see where I’m going with this? You got it.
Same boy. Mine. And both events occurred on the same day.
The boy is mine. The heartbroken mother: me.
The remorseful son, the excelling leader, the depantser: Ajers.
I can’t even begin to tell you what went through my mind when I answered that call from the school, and how it felt to be on the receiving end. And to call Mr. Manic to tell him, and then to come home, and prepare Tukey and Diva for what was going to go down when Ajers got home from school.
Tukey, oh boy, was Tukey upset. I explained to them that we are not raising our children to behave this way and their brother is going to be in the hugest trouble he’s ever going to be in in his whole life. Diva said she was shaking; Tukey just put his head down on the table, then went upstairs.
For Ajer’s privacy, I won’t go into details, but I will tell you, I’ve never seen such a remorseful kid. He absolutely knows what he did was wrong, stupid, DUMB. I gave him the “free lesson” speech (thanks Dad!), and let him know that if this is what it takes to make sure that he now knows that EVERY SINGLE ACTION will cause a REACTION and he considers everything he does before he does something, and that he CHOOSES THE RIGHT OPTION, then it will be a lesson well learned.
And boy, will he learn this lesson, because the kid has never been grounded before, and here’s what he’s in for: Facebook gone. Phone gone. Guitar gone. iTouch gone. Xbox gone. Friends gone.
Hmmmm, I might as well even take away his bathroom privileges too, huh?
Because let me tell you, the Shit hath hit the fan in the MaNiC house!
And speaking of shit, it’s strange as shit, because I’ve never been so mad or disappointed or heartbroken over something he’s done, but I’ve also never wanted to grab him and hold him so close and tell him that everything’s going to be OK either. And boy, that is soooo screwed up. That MUST be what parenting’s all about.