Monday, December 18, 2006

Do You Know What?

Christmas
Just
Doesn't
"Happen."

Addendum:

It's almost midnight.

I have to pee.

I am crabby.

I just burped, and it tasted funky and I couldn't remember what I ate and that was strange to me.

Just remembered it was Chunky Fajita Steak soup.

That's why it was funky.

I feel sick.

I feel crabby.

I feel like I want to write but there is nothing to say.

I am getting anxious about needing to get working on a second book.

I am thinking about resolutions.

Not making any; just thinking about them in general.

I have so many GD gifts to wrap I am sure my back will kill me by the time I'm done.

Some of them, I am wrapping for myself to give to myself.

Even though I already know Hubby got me what I asked for.

Even though I am not going to tell you what I asked for.

Because you will laugh.

You will say, "You're kidding me. Manic Mom wants a ??? for Christmas."

I am typing so fast, the keyboard cannot keep up with me.

Amazing.

So.

Do you want to know anything else?

I think I only peed like twice today.

But Tukey and I both made poo at The Home Depot.

You should see the look on his face when he tries to push out a big poo.

This a.m. he said to me: "You're cold and I'm warm so wann know what? We should snuggle."

We went to Home Depot three times today.

We only used the bathroom one time; the second visit.

I still have to pee.

I still want to type some stuff.

I counted points today.

I drank no wine today.

I probably should have though.

I am looking around my office in search of inspiration.

You'd like to know why I was at Home Depot three times today?

I like their toilet.

No, not really.

We are doing a little construction project in our home.

Which involves me not having access to our washer and dryer currently.

Which means I sent the laundry out last week to have it done -- 36 pounds of clothing, washed, dried, folded for $40.

It would have taken me a day and a half to do that much laundry.

Certainly, I'm worth $40.

I wish we didn't have a new washer/dryer.

Then I could use the laundromat.

And I would never have to do laundry again.

Husband attended two professional sporting events this week: Da Bulls. Da Bears. They both won.

He will also be viewing NIU in some bowl game tomorrow night. Out.

He went out last Monday night too.

I saw The Holiday.

I also saw Unaccompanied Minors.

And Charlotte's Web.

I only paid for two of those three movies.

Yes, but I bought extra candy.

And, when I was at the grocery store last week, I realized I forgot to pay for my case of water.

So, I went to customer service and told them, and then I paid them.

So, maybe I'm not so bad.

Maybe I won't go to hell for Movie Hopping.

Not sure why I admitted to the Movie Hopping thing again.

I CAN.NOT stand indecisive people.

Make a decision and go with it.

Move ahead.

This just reminded me of that song, "Hey Mickey."

You're so fine. You blow my mind.

Should I be done?

Or should I just keep typing whatever the hell my fingers want to type?

I am getting addicted to yoga.

I really don't drink Diet Coke any more.

Does one can a week count?

I wonder what Jesus or Mary or Joseph did with the gold, frankensense and myhhr.

I know those are misspelled because I spelled them the correct way in a quiz I wrote for the website I work for.

But, I don't feel like looking it up.

I am tired of getting zits.

I love, love, love to pick my kids' toenails.

But, they never let me.

I wonder if when I die, will they sit around the table, and say, "Remember how mom used to love to pick our toenails? We were so mean to not let her do it. Now she's dead and she can no longer pick our toenails. I wish I let her pick them more."

Do you think I'm done yet?

No chance.

This is just getting good.

And I still have to pee.

But I know, when I go, it will smell that weird way like how it does after I have a Starbucks.

But that was like hours ago, after I did yoga, and before I went to Home Depot for the third time.

Done?

Maybe.

After all, this post will now show up for Tuesday since it's past midnight.

I usually get past and passed confused.

My yoga teacher said Acrossed instead of Across.

I'm looking around the room again.

I am going to go wrap presents.

And again, I'm full circle because....

Christmas
Just
Doesn't
Happen.

howcoolisthat?

28 comments:

The Cat said...

If you're a man...Christmas sort've does just "happen".

It's a beautiful thing.

Ramblin Rose said...

Too right!!! I've been reading a lot of blogs who say the same thing (mostly women blogs) along with talking with my friends about the same thing.. Why is it that us women put so much pressure on ourselves? And why is it that men just think we are overeacting?

Why Why Why....

Manic Mom said...

Hey guys, I just exanded on my little-four-word post. It's a rambler, ramblin' rose!!

Ramblin Rose said...

a ramble it is.... a funny ramble.... a damn funny ramble... never realised piss smells diffrent after a starbucks... next time I'm in sydney I'll take more notice....


As for 1/2 between Australia and America beats me.... a holiday would be great.....

So what did hubs buy???

We should have IM'd instead of playing tag.... on comments...

Did you eat all the tim tams yet?

Swishy said...

I LOVE this post! Did you and Tukey seriously both poop at Home Depot?

Never mind. I know you did!

Manic Mom said...

RR--one package gone. Holding out on the other two so I can have some for Swish.

Swish--Of course we did. But we used the girl's room. And he went first.

Drew Blackstone said...

Next time, you should poop in the rest room instead. When you poop in the Home Depot, they get mad and throw you out. Don't ask me how I know this.

Weekends Off said...

Pretty cool! That was a great ramble, very fun to read.

But do you really only drink one can of Diet Coke a day? Because I am a severe addict and I just can't imagine...I even wake up at night wanting an ice cold soda!

I cheated this year and bought gift boxes that are already printed like they are wrapped so all I had to do was add the bow and name tag!

Weekends Off said...

Pretty cool! That was a great ramble, very fun to read.

But do you really only drink one can of Diet Coke a day? Because I am a severe addict and I just can't imagine...I even wake up at night wanting an ice cold soda!

I cheated this year and bought gift boxes that are already printed like they are wrapped so all I had to do was add the bow and name tag!

Weekends Off said...

Pretty cool! That was a great ramble, very fun to read.

But do you really only drink one can of Diet Coke a day? Because I am a severe addict and I just can't imagine...I even wake up at night wanting an ice cold soda!

I cheated this year and bought gift boxes that are already printed like they are wrapped so all I had to do was add the bow and name tag!

Oh, The Joys said...

"Chunky" and "Burp" so close together conjures, you know, IMAGES...and then followed up with Diet Coke... Wow.

Karitown said...

OMG you crack me up. At least you got on the computer and rambled, I just rambled to myself...okay, more like bitched to myself...as I wrapped for hours last night, when all I wanted to do was write, blog, drink some wine, sleep, anything not related to Christmas!!!!

Manic Mom said...

Oh come on Drew, you know they have toilets at Home Depot!!

Hey Weekends! Actually, I'm down to about ONE CAN A WEEK! And if I can do it, anyone can--too bad it doesn't cause weight loss (So really, what is the point of not drinking diet coke anymore?)... I was drinking probably 2-4 a day before I stopped. I also worried about getting headaches but I didn't! BTW, thanks for stopping by--I see you over at the folks having marital problems' blogs.

Oh the Joys--Chunky Burps ARE THE WORST! Yuck.

Kari--You just recreated my Christmas Wish List:
write, blog, drink some wine, sleep.

Wouldn't that be HEAVEN!

Weekends Off said...

I don't know how you did it. I've tried to cut back - I drink probably 5 a day - but I do get the headaches. I guess if I wanted to bad enough I would. It's my one vice. Oh and I love it so!

Yes, I found you through one of those blogs...My home/married life (So far) is smooth and uneventful, peeking in on those boards helps me appreciate that sometimes. I wander around a lot during the day reading. It's boring at work most of the time I just sit and wait for a phone to ring.

kim said...

sure you're counting points, but are you drinking your water? 2x is not enough peeing.

Carolee said...

so it seems like everyone else is interested in the christmas falling on chicks thing. oh, and the poop.

i'm more intrigued by the starbucks/pee connection. i thought it was just me! i am so relieved ... thank you, thank you, thank you.

either we're both complete lunatics or it's OK, happens to everyone and no one else dares to talk about it.

Anonymous said...

......and when I'm dead, you'll say" I wish I let my mom sleep with me when hubby was out of town" and I wish I would have liked to have "cocktails" more often with my mom....'cause then you'll be soooo sad. 1-4-3 (just kidding)

Jess Riley said...

Wow!

You're one busy woman. I need to go lie down now...

Manic Mom said...

OH.MY.GOD!

My mother has learned to post comments here on Manic Mom folks.

Doomed, I tell you! Doomed. I think she should start a blog and call it:

Manic Mom's Mom.

You'll get a lot better stories out of her, yes siree!
143 Mommy, and how long did it take you to figure out how to get here, and how long did it take you to type that anonymous post?!

Eileen said...

Okay take this advice- GIFT BAG. When in doubt garbage bag with a bow. It will give the kids something to talk about other than the toe nail thing.

Frannie Farmer said...

You are so funny Manic.
I am having that sort of night tonight, without the Home Depot .. although I did have a pblic pooing incident today .. (not pooing in public, but pooing in a public restroom ...)
Hope your Tuesday was better :)

The Dummy said...

Hey yoga rock star! Did you pee yet? Hope those headaches go away in time for the presents! What did you get from hubby? :D c'mon... you can tell us! Hope you have a great Christmas. :)

Manic Mom said...

DD--More importantly, what are YOU getting for YOUR honey!??!?!

CL said...

Hm. The never-ending toilet references are interesting to me. I thought I was the only one obsessed with this. HA! Nicely said. How do you get your blog visited by people? Just wondering. I get no hits. Merry Xmas!! Claudette

Manic Mom said...

Claudette--you have to be either really famous (which I'M NOT!) or you have to be an avid-blog reader and visit other sites and leave messages (which I just tried to do by clicking on your CL link but it said PROFILE NOT AVAILABLE. And just leave your blog address at the end of emails to people/friends, unless you don't want them to know it exists! Also, if you're a mom, you can go to Mom-blog sites and register with them and then other moms can find your blog! Good luck, and thanks for stopping by Manic Mom's! (How'd you find me, anyway?)

Mammacita said...

A Very LOOOOng time! 1-4-3 And I am trying to learn how to tyopa so I can talk to uou in instant message/ How am I foing so gar? Kmbfm Mom

Manic Mom said...

Dear God, my mother has figured out how to comment on my blog and has now named herself, Mamacita...

She totally needs to set up a blog. It would be waaaaayyy cooler than MM.

CL said...

Hello Manic Mom, I found you browsing on mom sites. I visit some of them, keeps me sane, and will try as you suggest. Merry Xmas to you, will pop by again!!
http://nutty-notes.blogspot.com/

Claudette