Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Fight Night Venting

Fuming here.

Usually I don't vent about the inadequacies of my spouse on here, because for one, I don't think it's fair because I'm certain you'll all come back with comments agreeing with me, and for two, well, because I air some dirty laundry, but not all of it, and three, because there's really not that much to complain about when it comes to my husband.

But here's the truth.

I am Sleeping With The Enemy.

Ha. Not really, what I mean is, sometimes I think they based that character in the Julia Roberts movie on my husband's analness. Not the beating me up part; he never does that, but the absurdness of his analness as the older he gets is becoming a bit, shall we say, extreme?

For instance, it is, what? Two days after Christmas. He is getting hives practically because there is stuff all over the place, toys, wrapping, ornaments, by God -- A CHRISTMAS TREE IS STILL IN OUR HOUSE, and it's TWO DAYS POST-CHRISTMAS!

So, what am I doing? I'm lying on the couch, eating my Marshall Field's Frango mints my wonderful M-I-L got me for Christmas, with my iTunes blasting in my ears, and I'm just having the time of my life, relaxing, enjoying the post holiday cheer.

Right?

Not.

I am taking down Xmas shit, and it was my idea, because I'm done with it, over it all, and Mr. Sleeping With The Enemy is home from work early, and he mutters, "This place is a dump."

Excuse fucking me?

"What did you just say?"

"I was talking to myself."

"Well, you spoke out loud so obviously, you intended for me to hear you."

We fight, I tell him he has no clue; we have three children who are trying to play with their gifts and you want me to put them all away, you Scroogey MF. I don't say all of this, I'm just telling it to you now.

What did he do for Christmas?

Did he put up the outside lights? No.

I did.

Did he put up the Christmas tree? Yes.

I'll give him that; he assembled the fake spruce and put it up.

Did he decorate the tree? No.

I did.

Did he shop for his family's gifts, or offer any suggestions on what to buy for them? No.

I did.

Did he wrap any of the gifts for his family? No.

I did.

Did he even know what our kids would be opening on Christmas day? No.

I did. Because I bought ever last-mother-fucking item, thankyouverymuch.

Did he make any of the appetizers for Christmas Day? No.

I did.

Did he bake, or in my case, attempt to bake anything? No.

I did.

Did he make the Christmas dinner? No.

I did.

Will he take down the tree? No.

I will.

Will he take down the outside lights I put up? No.

I will.

And he thinks he's right, and he thinks that our house should be immaculate even though we have three young children who have their two-day-old Christmas gifts strewn about the house; even though we are in the midst of a fairly big rennovation project with our laundry room and things are a bit dusty and messy; even though, by God, I've just busted my freaking ass for the last month to make it a nice Christmas for my family and all I get is, "This place is a dump."

34 comments:

HelloBettyLou said...

Smack him for me. Jesus, what an ingrate. Being at my parent's house the last couple of days really made me realize just how much my mom does. Again, smack him for me.

Manic Mom said...

Thanks Betty Lou, this is why I love my Blog!

TTQ said...

No lovin for him tonight.

Oh, The Joys said...

It kind of makes the finger in your photo fit just perfectly.

cubmommy said...

I think you are speaking for a lot of us on this. We deal with all the holiday stress and the husbands are usually clueless.

TTQ is right tell him no lovin that your are too tired making the house not look like a dump.

And hey my husband is a great guy and does a lot for me but he is NOT perfect. You have every right to complain once in awhile we won't hold it against him.

Sorry my hormones are raging right now.

Anonymous said...

A man does like a clean house when he comes home. What if he didn't feel like doing his job and brought home 3 days pay? You'd buy that? How tough can it be to put away the stuff? I'd guess you have a cleaning lady, right? You want him fing the cleaning lady at work cuz she smells like Pinesol? Get cleaning or get ready for him to start looking around. Happens all the time. If he's complaining to himself "out loud" he's telling you something loud and clear.

Swishy said...

I really hope Anonymous is kidding, but I'm guessing not, since he (it HAS to be a HE!!!) didn't sign his name. First of all, sack up and use your real name if you're going to accuse someone of driving her husband to infidelity because she doesn't smell like freaking PINESOL when he gets home. Second, it's the fricking 21st century. Hubby's hands aren't broken. He can help pick up if it bothers him so much. Manic's job is to nurture and care for her children, which she does a WONDERFUL job at. Her job is NOT to smell like PineSol when her husband comes home from work.

Besides, everyone knows the Christmas mess doesn't get cleaned up until New Year's anyway. Not to mention the fact that anyone with kids knows it all gets messed up the second you finish cleaning anyway.

ANYWAY, I was GONNA say (before I got all indignant on my BBFF's behalf) that I was laughing so hard because you told it so well and I can COMPLETELY picture the whole scene. I want to come live with you!

Manic Mom said...

Swish, you can come live with me and douse yourself with Pinesol!!!

Manic Mom said...

Anon, if you think me not smelling like Pinesol is enough to drive him away, then that's not the kind of man I want to be married to anyway. Fortunately, your assumptions are just that. Assumptions.

Frannie Farmer said...

Ditto. Right down to the laundry room renovation.

Save Sheila said...

My son is a lot like your husband. Scares me. My husband and I are both sort of slobs, though, so he seldom says anything about how the house looks.

I feel sorry for Anonymous's wife (if there's a woman who actually tolerates him). HE sounds like Sleeping with the Enemy (for real)!

Kim Stagliano said...

Hi, Manic! Eesh, sounds like Anonymous got a lump of coal in HIS stocking! Everyone knows you have until Epiphany to clean up the mess from 12/25. HEllooooo?

Happy New Year!

Kim S.

Baron Ectar said...

Just another reason to love all the stress of Christmas is it not.

Us men can be seem so be such assholes. We are retarded to so many things in life and often overlook the one thing that completes our life - our wife.

Sorry you are feeling like this.

New Year will come and a fresh start can be made - find peace in that.

P.S. My blog usually is not as boring as it was yesterday - stop by again ... I promise I will not make ya clean anything up - you can sit in the corner - read and throw peanut shells on the floor for all I care - I never clean up the place. Disorder makes my life seem as if it is in order - sort of comforting =)

Beth said...

ya, just smack him.

And I'll smack mine too....he doesn't do crap around here...NOTHING!!! And my place is a dump too...:(

Manic Mom said...

This morning when I woke up, after hubby leaned over to say goodbye and to tell me he loved me, to which I replied, "Me too." (Which was better than last night cuz all I said was, "OK.") I thought about taking down this post, but I just reread it, and it's not mean. It's how I felt at the time, and it released some of the anxiety I was feeling after the fight (that, a .25 xanax, and a trip to the mall which involved pizza!). I was concerned that hubby might read and get upset that I was airing our dirty laundry on the internet, but I have decided to keep it up because I'm not saying anything cruel here. I know my mom's gonna read this, but this is stuff I would tell her anyway, except now she'll be up till 4 a.m. worried about us and we're fine.

I'm over the anger part, now we've reached that "feigned politeness" stage; well I have. I think he has no clue how much his comment annoyed/hurt me. Sometimes I just want to go to a counselor, tell him what happened, show him how disgusting our house really is, and then have him tell husband he needs to LET IT GO.

I am a mom with three young children. They are home for Christmas break. There are always more than just three children here; my house is the one where the kids come and know I will make them all grilled cheese, I will give them chips and an occasional soda, I will sing silly songs to them, embarrass my kids... but the kids come back, because while I may not be Martha Stewart or June Cleaver, my kids have fun, and they are not gonna care that there was some dust, or that some decorations (GOD FORBID!) were out three days after Xmas.

I think I'm going to change this blog name to THISPLACEISADUMP.BLOGSPOT.COM.

I might need to go check to see if it's available.

Swishy said...

Good, I'm glad you didn't take it down. You're allowed to vent, and no, you didn't say anything cruel. It's nothing you wouldn't say to one of your girlfriends at Starbucks.

Your place is NOT a dump, it's a beautiful, beautiful home filled with love. He knows it, too.

kissmekate said...

I knew I had a twin in the world!

Your house sounds like mine....except my hubbie doesn't stress too much over the mess.

But my house is a drop in centre for all the neighbourhood kids as well. Sometimes I feel like I am an intruder in my own house!

Anyway, I would be sitting back and eating more chocolate until hubbie takes down the tree himself.

Bear said...

Is there any normal couple out there that hasn't had that fight? It's a classic.
26 years later and I'm still buying the gifts for his mother.

Karin's Korner said...

I had the "neighborhood house" when my children were young right up to the time they became adults. I think if they still lived with me my house would still be full of people. I loved that. I miss that, and you will too. It is a wonderful feeling knowing that your childrens friends feel welcome in your home. Don't lose that. My husband sometimes (well, most of the time) complained about the house, I figured that if he wanted it any other way he could get off his butt and do something about it. Anyway - Enjoy the kids while you have them, I am hoping that my children will pass it on to their children (I am a grandma of 4 now) to have friends come to their house just to hang out and have some fun.

Barbie Jo said...

Ouch. Great post, and great comments. You can feel the anger fade after reading each one. I agree with Swishy....decorations don't come down til New Years. Isn't it a law or something??

Hey, we noticed that radio stations bombard us with Christmas music starting, like, November 1st. And December 26th...is gone. Poof! off the air! Now, IMO, I'd much rather have the music start after T'giving and stay on til New years. yes, I'm off topic so I'll shut up.

Things can't be perfect all the time. Fighting is okay too, as long as you still love each other in the end (which it sounds like you do!)

I have 3 kids too, and believe me...if you become a compulsive cleaner, you're never there for your kids cuz you're always cleaning..and there's nothing left for your man at the end of the day cuz you're too tired!!!

1 plus twins said...

i think we all know exactly what your talking about. but my hubby helps make the mess too!!! not just my kids and the holidays his shit too but i am the one to do it all! i know exactly what your talking about. maybe we should all take a nation wide strike!!! if they think the house looks like shit what would they think after a month long strike!! lol

Bina said...

Holy Hell. How 'bout this. When he says the place is a dump, simply, and kindly respond;

"I know. I guess we could sell the children, never have christmas again so there will never be any wrapping paper laying around, and ya know? I really am tired of doing all the shopping, wrapping, and decorating, and then having to clean it up, so let's just forgot about it next year, k?"

Bina said...

Oh. Hell. No. Like Swishy, I certainly hope Anonymous was kidding. If not, all the women from blog land will blow up his/her space! LOL KIDDING!

local girl said...

If my husband ever said that to me, his family would not be getting any gifts next year.

And who is this anonymous idiot? We're not living in the dark ages!

Dating Dummy said...

Hey MM, I don't think he's got a single person who'd take his side. Who is he to be talking 'trash' when he's not willing to do the work like you did? And it's frickin' Christmas! The place is SUPPOSED to be a mess, and kids are supposed to be kids and make that mess! Shouldn't there be some kind of grace period until after the new year for at least starting to pick up stuff?

Jennifer Talty said...

Yeah, I get the analness, really I do, but mine actually does it and makes me do it with him, or guilts me into it. He even does the scheudle these days and then e-mails it to me once a week. drives me nuts.

But I gotta say, I'd rather have Mr. Anal than Mr. scratch my ass, pick my nose and bitch anyway.

kissmekate said...

bina love your response!!!

acaligurl said...

let me guess, you had to wrap the gifts too? cheers to you for enjoying the holiday season, toys, wrapping, kids and all. these are what memories are made of....

Dorky Dad said...

Note to self: do NOT, under any circumstances, give The Wife a blog.

B. said...

I also get the "this is a dump" comment once in awhile. We all get over it eventually.

Eileen said...

I have this theory that love and memories are like dust bunnies. If there isn't a bit of clutter they blow away. I would love a clean house- but I love the detris of my life more.

Anonymous said...

Mark helped me clean up today. BEHIND THE DRYER. I was like "WTF! I have a house full of Christmas crap and your priority is the dust behind the dryer???" I merely said "Oh, thanks for the help!" as I wondered if the Dyson had an up the ass attachment.....

Kim S.

Bina said...

I don't know who Kim S is, but I LOVE her comment! "Uptheassattachment". What a good blog name!

Kim Stagliano said...

Hi, Bina. I'm Kim S. I sometimes post anon so my entries don't show up in the googlesphere....

Kim