Thursday, April 26, 2007

Quit "BUGGING" Me

Actual conversations between Hubby and me tonight--

Hubby: "Hey honey, guess what?"

Me, picking up the kitchen, yelling at the kids, going through their schoolbags: "What?"

Hubby: "Did you know the 17-year Cicadas are coming this summer?"

My mind flashes to the best summer of my life, where I was dating the hot lifeguard and had the tennis-club part-time job, where all we did was get drunk all summer long and fool around any chance we could get, any place we could get it at! The summer when my parents were out of town A LOT, and I threw a lot of parties, and we went downtown Chicago a lot and I had a fake ID so I got into a bunch of bars, and it was the epitomy of The Greatest Summer of One's Life...

Me: "Yeah. And do you wanna know what I was doing seventeen years ago?"

Hubby: "I don't know, some boy?"

Me, thinking of that awesome summer: "Oh, he wasn't just a boy... he was... (me, recalling his hot swimmer bod, his cute smile, the way he... all the while trying to figure out thirty-eight minus seventeen in my brain, cuz remember, I'm not too savvy at math... Long pause as the calculations surface to the realization of thirty-eight minus seventeen equalling twenty-one...)

"Oh wait. I was doing you!"

Next conversation:

Diva walks in, then walks out. Hubby is drinking the last of the bottle of wine he opened. Hubby notes Diva's height and says, "Wow, she's getting so tall."

Me: "Yep."

Hubby: "I hope she doesn't turn into a slut like her mom."

Me: "Why? She turned out all right."




For those of you a little behind the eight ball, *I'M* Diva's mom!

17 comments:

Jenster said...

LOL. Yeah, that whole math thing throws me. I keep thinking I'm only old enough to have known hubby for about ten years or so. But then I remember I'm old.

And from what I've observed, "Diva's mom has got it goin' on."

Manic Mom said...

Jenster--it's all a ruse, all a ruse! Hee hee.

Swishy said...

OMG! I can totally see him saying that. Ha ha ha.

(And Diva's mom DOES have it going on!)

The Dummy said...

So uh, what do you call him if he calls you that?

btw, glad to hear you're still doing the bww - now why don't you let us know how you're doing? I'm kicking my butt over here and it'd be nice to know I'm not the only one suffering! :)

flea said...

followed your link from swishy's blog....girl you are funny!! i'll be back i'm sure

Monnik said...

:) Good stuff.

Kim Stagliano said...

I've Tagged You. 5 blogs that make you think. Chop chop!

Scary thoughts? I saw my first love last year at our 25th reunion and it had been 16 years since we'd seen eachother! And we'd date for NINE years! Time doth fly!

Colorado Writer said...

Kim, your post was a word problem.

If Kim was x last year and she dated her HS boyfriend for 9 years 25 years ago. How old is she?

MM, still crazy for your sexy lifeguard, huh! What a nice thing to know about the person you are spending your life with.

Mine is a sexy bartender...and at 50, he's still cute. Except he snores.

Manic Mom said...

COlorado--actually NOT still crazy about the lifeguard dude. There's another one that I think of waaaay more, but the lifeguard was pretty cute, and I think he lives close to me, but I haven't stalked him like I did the other one. I have written about the other one in certain inconspiciuos ways on here a lot. And, my next novel has a guy in it that's A LOT like him, plus with added attributes from other guys... like I'm taking all the good stuff from all the jerks and making one totally awesome guy...

Oh wait, I already have ONE TOTALLY AWESOME GUY--The one I married!!!

(And he doesn't even read this stuff!)

Manic Mom said...

oh and Colorado--He's fifty and he snores...

that together in the same sentence made me think that he's fifty and he STILL snores.

But you don't know that now, do you?

Jenster said...

Ruse or not, it doesn't matter. It's like I tell my daughter when she goes to play in a softball or volleyball game. "It's not how you play, it's how cute you look in the uniform." Perception is everything, you know!

TTQ said...

I hope hubby wasn't planning on getting laid anytime soon..unless of course you wanted to.. *grin* Is hubby older or younger, same age?

Manic Mom said...

Jenster--love it--the uniform!

TTQ--he's seven months older than I am. And he wouldn't have gotten laid yesterday anyway--come on--it was a THURSDAY!!!! LOL

Colorado Writer said...

Ohhhh...I thought your husband was the lifeguard you were doing 17 years ago.

Sex does not happen on a random Thursday. It might occur the 3rd Saturday of the month, but only if the moon happens to be full, the children aren't awake, my husband's breath is not bad, and I don't have The Visit.

JurassicKimSays said...

Colorado, allow me to rephrase. Met boy at 13 (fall 1978), started dating boy at 16 (spring 1980). Broke up with boy at 25 (Fall 1989). Am now 43 (2007). Saw boy when 42 (spring 2006) for first time since I was 25 (fall 1989). Graduated from high school 1981 (26 years ago!) :)

Manic Mom said...

Alright, KimJurassic Park... you know how I feel about math on my site!!!

Colorado--You forgot the need to have a nice buzz goin'!!!

Senor Beavis said...

It's weird that the cicadas come out on different years in different places. The DC area, where I'm from, got them a few years ago, while I was safely here. That would totally suck to get them on consecutive years.