So, this guy’s pregnant, but he’s really a girl inside, because he was born a girl, and he’s got all his girly parts, but he lopped off his ta-ta’s so sure, (Speaking of ta-ta’s run over to Snarkalicious really quick—you’ll ALL thank me!)
So, this girl was born a guy and had her ta-ta’s removed, so they’re not there anymore, but the indoor plumbing’s still active, so why not just house a fetus? Why not get on Oprah and have People tell your story? Why not be the first “man” to have a baby?
Did you all see this show?
First, before I talk about this, can you all do me one quick favor? Oops, one OTHER quick favor cuz if you already went to Snarkalicious, that was the first favor, but I promise you these are all for great causes! Anyway, If you are a mom, or about to become a mom, would you please go over to one of my new favorite hangouts, BettyConfidential and take this really quick survey. It’s very quick. I promise. Have I lied to you lately?
Did He Want You Pregnant Sooner Than You Were Ready To Be Pregnant?
Here's the survey, right here:
My answer to that question was a big old FAT YES! Mr. Manic wanted to knock me up so far into yesterday before I was ready it wasn’t even funny. But I wasn’t ready. So I would just fake my orgasm, tell him I loved him, roll over, and go to sleep. Hah, just kidding. A woman doesn’t need an orgasm to get pregnant! But, a man needs to have one to impregnate a woman. Well, usually, unless a teeny bit of semen seeps out, but those would have to be really strong swimmers.
Anyway, did you take the survey? Thank YOU! Thank you, thank you, thank you! So, did your spouse, partner, significant “otre” pressure you into having a baby when you weren’t quite ready?
And what is UP with that girl/guy who is pregnant on Oprah? I did agree when he/she said it is every human’s biological right to reproduce. I get that. I do. Really. But I had a hard time accepting that he wants to be a man but also have a baby. That’s definitely having your cake and eating it too. Talk about Hannah Montana “Best of Both Worlds.” Huh? Did I just say that? Let me remind you I just had a week and a half of the flu bug raging through the house and now we are on Spring Break. The TV’s been on a lot.
I am trying to understand this gu’all. That’s what I’m going to call him/her now. A guall. Like a guy/girl. He lopped off his boobs. Took testosterone to make his clitoris grow into a teeny-weeny weenie, so he could have sex with his wife, who consequently has had a hysterectomy. And now they are having a baby together. Whacked out.
Was I watching Oprah or Jerry?
I have a headache.
I don’t feel like discussing that subject any longer so I would like to hear from you, the VIEWERS, in the comments please.
And, hey, maybe he was trying to let us women know we are not alone, to get a real feel for how it is for us when we go through pregnancy. Like this guy did!
You can read all about how Darren, sweet man that he is, wore the male version of the pregnancy belly for a mere 24-hours (sorry Darren for saying mere, while I respect you to PIECES for your gallantness--double-parenthesis as I ask myself if ‘gallantness’ is a real word but see there is no squiggly line underneath--you can ask any woman who has made it through the whole nine months of pregnancy and while I am certain you are WAAAAAY better and more sympathetic/empathetic than 99.9999999999999999999¾ percent of the whole male population when it comes to understanding pregnancy, I will not worship a man as being completely understanding of pregnancy, ever, not even the so-called man giving birth from the Oprah show, cuz that guy-girl, in my book, is not a man, until a man can completely go through every facet of Pregnancy Joy and Utter Bliss.
I’m just sorry you underprivileged species will never get to experience the one trueness of what it is like to be the bearer of all good and whole. Man, do I sound snark-i-bitchy or what?!
But, for those of you who want to read Darren’s fun and right-on-target with the uncomfortableness factor of being pregnant, his online 24-hour diary can be read HERE.
Thanks for taking the survey you guys! Thanks for humoring me with your thoughts on this gu’all who is pregnant and having a baby.
I NEED A BLOG BREAK!
I will be mailing out the Jennifer Weiner books probably THIS weekend. Sorry it’s taken me so long, and Shelley, I am almost done with Certain Girls! I felt kind of bad today though; I brought it into a public bathroom with me, and thought of that Seinfeld episode when George took a book into the bathroom with him. You still want it though, right?
Live Blogging on American Idol next Tuesday. I see there is a show on Wed and Thursday as well. Who's up for Live Blogging with me?
Three new book giveaways are coming up by these great authors so check out their websites and read up on them so you can enter the giveaways—they’ll be easy contests! Apologies in advance to the one anonymous reader who no longer reads because she got mad at me for self-promoting and holding too many contests. I hope you found some other blogs you can better relate to.
Jen Singer's You're A Good Mom
Kelly McMasters' Welcome To Shirley
Trish Ryan's He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not
And a fun Momesque t-shirt giveaway from LTDCHIX.com headed your way in honor of celebrating my BIRTHDAY!
Stay TUNED, Stay Manic! I will if you will!
And if you see Michael Johns, tell him I'll let him carry my baby for me!