Thursday, April 24, 2008

Where Are We Going?

[Before I get to the funny stuff, you can still put your name in the hat to win one of the two (or possibly BOTH!) fabulous books in the previous post! So check it out after you read this Ha-Ha that made me grin this morning!]

CONTEST CLOSED! WINNERS TO BE ANNOUNCED ON MONDAY OR TUESDAY
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

So, I was gathering up the whites this morning.

WAIT! SHOCKER!

Manic does laundry!

She separates the colors from the whites?

Pick yourselves up off the floor folks. Yes, I do laundry. I have to. It sucks.

We’re in the midst of “Turn off your TV Week,” which incidentally, I am a STRONG OPPOSER of, and the school doesn’t know this, but I have dubbed it, “Turn off your TV and Mom Turns into a Bitch” Week. All the other moms are like, “Oh we have our TV off and we played Monopoly and we went to the park and we have rearranged the Tonka trucks and done fifty bazillion puzzles this week.” Go YOU!

Tukey and I started OUR Monday morning snuggled up on the couch with his chocolate milk “shaken-not-stirred” sippy cup and a rousing two episodes of Curious George. Then, would you believe it, I popped in Alvin and the Chipmunks and let him watch the WHOLE movie while I came into my office and did frivolous internet shit worked hard on freelancing projects all morning! I mean, it’s harder on the MOM than the kid to not have the TV on. It’s the MOM who is punished.

And what’s the point of turning off the TV for one week when it’s just going back on the following Monday?

However, I will say this for my kids. When it’s good weather out, they would much rather be outside riding bikes in the cul de sac, playing football in the front yard, going to the park down the street, or having a picnic of goldfish, pretzels and juice boxes in the little island thing at the cul de sac like they did on Tuesday after school instead of eyes glazed over the TV. So I’m totally OK with TV time. They are not couch ‘tatoes.

Back to the laundry of this morning. I was gathering up the whites before the school bus and for some strange freaky reason, Ajers had on DORA THE EXPLORER?!?!!? Who the heck knows why? Maybe he needed to practice his espanol? Even though he doesn’t take Spanish in fourth grade. Well, you know, my children are advanced after all, but that’s neither here nor there.

Anyway, from upstairs as I’m separating the whites from the colors, I can hear the TV blaring the Dora theme song music.

And I swear to you, this is what I hear:

Where are we going?

REHAB!

Where are we going?

REHAB!*

(see that asterisk, read the small print at the bottom of this post)

I swear to you, Dora and Boots were headed to Rehab!!! Do you think they were going to bring her abuela a bottle of Scotch and a case of beer hidden in a wicker basket?

*Please don’t email me or leave me a comment telling me it’s not funny to joke about rehab because YES IT IS!!! OK, it’s not funny to joke about real life people being in rehab, but it’s HILARIOUS to think that a two-and-a-half foot little espanol girl and a Spanish-speaking monkey with YELLOW boots might be walking through the forest singing, WHERE ARE WE GOING? REHAB! WHERE ARE WE GOING?

REHAB!

41 comments:

Bina said...

Ahhh!! That is too freaking funny! Seriously? Is that what they were saying or did it just SOUND like that.

Fortunately, I haven't seen that episode yet! LOL

Rebecca said...

Rehab is to funny! I laughed maniacally in my padded cell the whole time I was there.

Mabunny said...

Freakin funny!!!
Thank goodness my child is out of the Dora stage... now I'm just listening to Zach and Cody or Hannah Montana...
from one extreme to the other...
have a great day, i'm going to go do laundry too!! BLECH

Jen said...

I'm with you. I'd like to have a word with the idiot who thought up Turn Off the TV Week.

Rehab is funny. Did you watch Dr. Drew's show on VHI? Good times.

Colleen said...

Finally - a reason to add Dora to the list of shows I can't stand/don't want my kids to watch. Thanks, Manic Mommy! (as in "Thanks Easter Bunny!")

Monnik said...

You're right. Joking about rehab is funny! Where were they really going?

Our last name is the first four letters of rehab and my oldest DD's first name starts with a b. So her email at school is rehab@blahblahblah.....

Cracks me up.

Anonymous said...

were they really saying that? What was it, really?

And, when you suddenly switched gears from "separating laundry" to "Ajers had on Dora," I originally thought you meant he had on DORA UNDERPANTS!! Yikes, not sure why he would even have DORA underpants. Anyway, that is what I thought when I first read this!
FLY

Robin said...

That's not funny, remember what Tinky-Winky said, gasp.

(By the way it is completely funny and so was the woman at Target telling me about Tinky-Winky.)

Manic Mom said...

Wait Robin, was the woman telling you about Tinky's WINKY!?!?!? LOL!

BTW, I have NO freaking clue where Dora was going? I'm assuming maybe the bar for a drink.

Jennifer said...

LOL you should hear the lyric my husband and I make up for Dora...let's just say Dora rhymes with Whore-a and leave it at that!
Rehab-ha!

Jennifer

Manic Mom said...

Dora Dora Dora, She's A Whore A!

Dora Dora Dora, Going to Rehab!

Dora Dora Dora, Wants to Explore A

Scientific Crystal methadone Lab!

morninglight mama said...

HA! Rehab... maybe she's been hitting the tequila a bit too much... is Jose Cuervo a new character?
"Hola Jose. Como esta?"
"Let's get drunk senorita!"

D-D-D-Dora... gotta love her... *hiccup*

Jennifer said...

Kinda makes you wonder what is in the backpack

Manic Mom said...

You guys are cracking me up with the comments!

Jose Cuervo the new character!!!

And wonder what's in the backpack!!!

LOL!

B. said...

That's the hardest I've laughed today!

Next week on Dora, special cameo appearance by Lindsay Lohan!

Martini said...

Wait ..... Rehab is not funny?

Kelli said...

Thats so funny.

I am also agains no tv week. WHY? Its there job to teach at school, its our job to teach.....or what ever at home. I wish we could say no book week at school, that the teachers would have to do other ways of teaching for one week. It would make them have to think outside the box for one week, which is what we have to do for one week with no tv. My older kids werent couch tatoes either but we do like the end of the day shows. I ok, I will back off, my husbands a teacher! He wont be able to do the no tv when the little ones get in school though

Kate said...

Is this a good time to share my story from my 1st year teaching? Nutso little girl (among other things, I might add) would bust out into weird things. I even wrote her up because she was being disruptive, and well, disturbing. Especially when she started singing about her freaking backpack.

It wasn't until the next summer that I heard the original song. Ahhh... Especially considering that she was a 14 year old with a 1 year old. Who knew I had to be up on all the under-5 stuff to teach teenagers.

Trish Ryan said...

You're right...that's totally funny :)

Dora is a questionable influence. Last time I babysat my niece & nephew, Dora and her buddies were rescuing a pet snake...which they promptly wrapped around their neck for transport. I was like, "Umm...BAD idea!"

Good luck with the whole TV free week...DVR exists for exactly this reason :)

Manic Mom said...

Trish, I don't DO TV FREE WEEK so I don't need any luck with it. The TV FLOURISHES in The Manic House ALL WEEK LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Michelle said...

Wow, now I know why I don't let my kids watch Dora. Of course, really, what does that leave? I'm down to Thomas, but being told that I'm "Cranky on wheels" when I ask Mister Man to do somethng isn't exactly doing it for me. Although, granted I'm pretty sure he picked up that phrase from one of the books and not from tv. There's no winning.

My boys are Army Brats said...

I love the new Dora theme song. You guys are so funny!

LaskiGal said...

Um. Rehab can totally be funny. That's why this post had me laughing!!!

Jill said...

Dora must have been on a field trip visiting me in rehab after our 2 weeks of pre-school spring break...

Rehab sounds like paradise right now.

Jill said...

Dora must have been on a field trip visiting me in rehab after our 2 weeks of pre-school spring break...

Rehab sounds like paradise right now.

Jess Riley said...

Reminded me of the old chant, "What do we want?" (Rehab!) "When do we want it? " (Now!)

Yeah, turn off TV week--a nice theory, but I'm with you on this one.

Cecily R said...

If I have to watch one more episode of that show it might just drive me to rehab. If Boots and Dora were sitting in the sharing circle when I got there it just might drive me to that padded room...:)

Kirsten said...

Ok, you I love. I also let my kids watch way more than the "recommended daily allowance" of acceptable t.v., and in all honesty, I don't feel one flippin bit bad about it. You are right about the good weather discourages couch potato-ness, although once the hot sun comes out so begins the endless quest to smear sunscreen on hot wiggly bodies that just won't stop moving. WHY is it that when you come at your child with the sunscreen they instead see a scary hairy monster chasing them with razor sharp clawas and a bottle of liquid skin searing acid? Just a question . . . maybe I will start my own blog to try to answer this and other mind boggling questions. I'll get back to you in about a month when I can come up with a good catchy blog name . . .

Aimee said...

Yeah, Mimi is who I found you from! Have a great weekend!

I am Heather...creator of all things crafty! said...

Ok, are you pulling our legs. They really said, "REHAB". Are you sure they didn't way ARABia....Like the Backyardigans being Arab the Sultan.....

If not, they're starting awful young. This post just cracked me up.

Heather

Amanda said...

So, those mums who are now doing all the puzzles and stuff - how can they bear to admit to it? I mean, if they can do it when some one tells them they should why aren't they doing it anyway? They OBVIOUSLY have time or they wouldn't be doing it for the week would they? So what do they do when they're not doing puzzles etc? Now that's what I call a slacker mum.

Shelley said...

Ok, here's how against this "turn off the TV" thing I am...I didn't even know it was Turn off Your TV week. And even if I had known, it still wouldn't ever happen.

I'm still trying to figure out where Dora and Boots could have been going that sounded like "rehab?"

Wait, I think I may have found the answer...
http://www.creativeminorityreport.com/2007/07/dora-explorer-arrested-for-dui-drugs.html

Manic Mom said...

Kirsten--I like both your ideas for blognames on your profiles already! Start BLOGGIN!

AmersP said...

LOL I LOVE the new Dora theme song LOL As for laundry...while you are sorting it sounds like Michelle AKA My Little Army Brats needs some help LOL. As far as NO TV goes...well yeah that is not happening here either!!! After hours of outside play my kids HAVE to have some wind down time not to mention ummm Mommy needs SANITY!!!!!!

Sue said...

Dora and Boots have gotten a lot more 21st century on me since I last watched them.
Thankfully, Zach, Cody and Hannah haven't made it to rehab yet.

Beth from the Funny Farm said...

OMG... I'm so glad my kids have outgrown Dora!

Beth from the Funny Farm said...

BTW...I am a laundry freak of nature. I have color coded hampers. One for whites and one for darks. Kids put their clothes in there and it gets washed. Works!

Tanya said...

So not only is Dora going to rehab, she is excited about it?

Kirsten said...

Thanks Manic for the kick in the butt, I started blogging. Check out "Notes From A Human Napkin" (Ok, now I feel like a spin-off, but hopefully a good spin-off like the Facts of Life was to Diff'rent Strokes and not a crappy one like that horrible spin-off they tried to do off of Three's Company, where Jack got married, yuck!)

HRH said...

I couldn't agree more. OMG. What is with the one week? If it is really that super spectacular, wouldn't we all want to do it all the time? More is better? Ugh. Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if Dora was on the way to rehab. Child stars.

PS--this was the funniest thing I read all day...thanks!

Barrie said...

How about a no-video-games week to follow the no TV week? Then, maybe, a no computer week? Ha!

Very funny post!