Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Who Thinks This Is A Good Idea?

So, in my attempt to become a better wife now that all three kids are in school full-time, I am trying to prepare meals. Yes. At dinnertime. I know. Shut up. I even made Mr. Manic teach me how to turn on the grill the other day, and I even flipped some chicken. It was kind of fun. I like when everything is charred so to me, if it's burned, it's probably done.

Anyway, we had some freshly caught salmon in our freezer that I took out and, well, he ended up grilling it, and there was a ton, and we ate some of it, but then there was a pretty large amount left over, and that's not the kind of stuff you save for leftovers, I don't think so anyway.

The garbage had just been picked up that day. He didn't want to throw it in the garbage and have stinky fish in the garbage for a week. I didn't think we should put it down the sink disposal because of the fish bones.

"I'll flush it down the toilet," he said.

Yep. That's what he said. And yep, my eyes bulged out of my head.

"What?" he said. "Bigger things have come out of you than this plate of fish." Mind you, it was a BIG plate of fish, and mind you, it is quite possible that bigger things may have come out of me (NOT TALKING CHILDREN HERE) at some point in my bowel experiences, but I replied:

"MAYBE, but the things that have come out of me (NOT TALKING CHILDREN HERE!) DO NOT HAVE BONES and are allowed to be FLUSHED DOWN THE TOILET!"

Still, he didn't listen, and have you ever heard that old adage about mothers knowing best. Well, there should be one about wives knowing best, because yes, indeed, he did flood the toilet.

Who the hell flushes a plate of salmon DOWN THE TOILET!?!?!?!?

My husband, that's who.

41 comments:

Joanne said...

After cooking salmon, my mom taught me to always flush the stinky fish skin!

The Gang's All Here! said...

Okay. This disturbs me on many levels.

First, how the heck does he know the size of things that come out of you (NOT talking about the children, here!)? I must have privacy for that deed, and The Boss would DIE before he ever, ever, ever let me in when he was ahem, occupied.

Second, have you never had a salmon salad? You can just flake up the left over salmon, hot or cold, over a nice crisp bed of greens and drizzle with honey dijon dressing or blue cheese. YUMMO!

Third, did you not think to THROW yourself in front of the bathroom door to avert the OBVIOUS coming crisis? Woman, what good does it do you to be great in the kitchen if you can't save your potty from fishy doom?! COME ON already!

Okay, I'm done now. Back to your domestic bliss and all . . . :)

March to the Sea said...

since it went down he is a super smart do it all mr fixer upper..had it backed up..oh man..the story would have been awesome!

Cat said...

so NOT a good idea! how could you "flush" leftover salmon? you should have made salmon cakes :)

if i have fish (or shrimp skins, or other smelly stuff) for the trash, i freeze it, then put it in the trash on trash day :) that is of course if it can't be recycled into cat food :)

Melissa said...

OMG, that is hysterical! What a dope, huh?

SgtSudsWife said...

Hahahaha.This is hilarious.I can't believe he flushed it down the toilet.

Bina said...

Oh my Lord. I can't even begin to imagine. But ya know, that sounds like something MY husband would do!

But yea, I would made Salmon patties, but cooked them the following night or something.

Jenster said...

Bwahahaahahaahahahaha!!!! Sending the salmon back to the sea from whence it came??

That is so funny.

Kim Stagliano said...

My MIL freezer her stinky garbage (fish, clam shells, etc) in the summertime in the extra freezer. I'd never have thought of pulling a NEMO though - "All drains lead to the ocean." Maybe not in Chicago though!

Too much, Manic. Only you can make my life feel normal. I thank you.

K

T with Honey said...

Why not? That's what I did with my beta fish when he died. He went to the little pond in the sky via our porcelain coffin.

Manic Mom said...

T-- a beta fish is like 1/100th the size of how much fish Mr. flushed!!!

Anonymous said...

Hope you have sewer lines and not a septic tank. More reason why I dont eat fish.

Kate said...

Oh no! I was reading and I kept thinking about the ensuing plumbing disaster.

Andie said...

that's hilarious. men should know better.

when we have stinky seafood stuff to throw out (which during crawfish season is every weekend, just about) we drive down the street to the grocery store dumpster and dump our stinky trash there. LOL

DO you have a restaurant near by that you could dump your stinky trash in?

Eileen said...

Cooked salmon can be shredded mixed with some mayo, mustard, bread crumbs, onion, celery- shape into patties and cook thru as a salmon cake. mmmm.

Michelle said...

I don't even know where to begin. Wow.

I don't know where the idea of flushing leftover food down the toilet came from but umm. Wow.

And the next time you want a recipe for leftover salmon, let me know. I've got a bunch. You can save it for a couple days. Salmon quesadillas, salmon salad, salmon cakes....

And may I recommend investing in a crockpot? ;) And maybe a crockpot cookbook....

Suzanne said...

I'm thinking salmon cakes, salmon salad sandwiches, salmon omlettes, salmon martinis....see the possibilities are endless.

Of course, digging a deep hole in the backyard is another consideration and might be good for roses......unless of course you have raccoons.

Melisa said...

I personally don't see anything wrong with this as long as the salmon was flushed in..err...manageable pieces. That said, we have leftover salmon on salad and stuff so I wouldn't have flushed it in the first place...

On The Verge said...

This sounds like something my hubby would do! Please visit my blog. I have given you an award.

Mabunny said...

two words - salmon patties - YUMMO! Those r one of my favorite things to make and u can mix it up and make it with eggplant too! If you want I'll give you the recipe!
and I only flush leftover cereal down the porcelin thrown...

Trish said...

Just when I think things can't get any funnier here in Manicland, your husband flushes leftover salmon down the toilet. Priceless.

Colorado Writer said...

OMG. I don't even flush the tampon thingy. And I don't put food down the garbage disposal either. I put it in a ziploc and throw it away. I can't imagine flushing my leftovers. Hope you don't need a plunger later.

J... said...

Ok. Seriously. Holy Crap. I think your husband and mine are TWINS! Or at least brothers. The sheer number of things that I have seen get flushed down the toilet that were never meant to be there has been amazing.

But really if you think about it, it was fish and fish belong in the water, right? The toilet bowl was in the wrong for trying to spit them back out!

Manic Mom said...

You guys are CRACKING ME UP!!!

All these salmon patty suggestions! I do wish he didn't flush it now!!!

And I should change the blog name to MANICLAND! LOL!

And Colorado--YOU ARE MORE ANAL THAN ME--I put some food in a ziploc, but you don't put ANY in the disposal?!??!?! You are STRANGE!!!

J--you are right, we were just sending fish back where it belongs. What is that from ashes to ashes Bible saying?

Nicole said...

That's insane! I'm totally for the putting it in a ziploc and throwing it away myself. Maybe throw it away in the dark of the night in the neighbor's can just for safe measure. hahaha

Dawn from CA said...

That's actually not a bad idea for small, biodegradable stinky food leftovers. Very creative!

Here's a tip to file in the "Things Not to Try" category. My husband spilled a box of uncooked pasta on the floor, and since he doesn't believe in the 5 second rule, he scooped it up and threw it all down the garbage disposal. One visit from the plumber and $100 later, he is now afraid to put anything down there. I just hope he doesn't flush the pasta instead!

Rachel said...

Hmmm first goldfish, now Salmon. You learn something new every day ;-)
Too funny.
Congrats to you for cooking :-) LOL, that's awesome.
I swear I'm not pimping myself out or spamming you... I post recipes every monday on my blog and I have a great one for a Salmon, Feta and Farfalle pasta. All the recipes are easy and yeah, okay. I'm done being a loser now.
Thanks for the giggle.

eatmisery said...

"I like when everything is charred so to me, if it's burned, it's probably done."

OMG, you sound just like me.

Beth from the Funny Farm said...

HAHAHAHAHA! That is a good idea.

Thank you for the laugh.

Mary said...

LOL

That totally cracked me up!!! Oh Oh Oh, belly laughs are painful, worth it for that image though! Hahahahaa!

Tara@From Dawn Till Rusk said...

What the? I can't believe that would even enter a person's head - flush a plate of fish down the loo? Your dead pet goldfish sure, but salmon? Tsk

Helen Ginger said...

Salmon patties, salmon cakes, salmon with breakfast, salmon on crackers ... I sound like Forrest Gump. You can get tired of salmon, but I'd give it at least another day. (Ignore the suggestion of salmon martinis, though.)

Ms. R said...

Let's just hope your kids don't decide it's a good idea to start fishing in the toilet too.

Monnik said...

oh my. this is funny.

We can't flush most things (septic system) but I have to say, the thought probably wouldn't occur to me.

why'd you have a full plate leftover anyway? ;)vxmss

JODI said...

be careful now that grilled fish may reform itself and come back to bite you in the ass ;-)

really, I would have put the left over fish in the frig to keep smell-less till trash day.

Amanda said...

HOLY CRAP!! You flushed salmon down the loo?? FOR GODS SAKE MANIC - HAVE YOU NO SHAME? Fresh caught salmon...down the loo...tears are splashing on my keyboard...unless it was farmed salmon in which case you can keep it.

PS Tried to be more US than UK in my language but most likely failed. KS has complained of cultural divide widening

Manager Mom said...

Well, I think agree with your husband on this one. Just skip the middleman and let the leftovers go directly to their final resting place.

Stacey said...

You don't have a garbage pail outside? Better yet, your neighbors don't have a garbage pail outside?

Kristabella said...

I guess it is because I live in an apartment that has trash dumpsters nowhere near my windows that I would just have thrown it away. Something seems so wrong with flushing FOOD down the toilet.

And you're just mad because you didn't think of it first. :)

Manic Mom said...

KB--LOL--no way am I mad about not thinking about it first--did you not read it all? HE FLOODED THE TOILET!?!?!? it was a stupid thing he did and I KNEW it was going to be a dumb move. He always does idiotic things and I call 'em before he does 'em but he still does them, and I'm like, "Told you so!"

This Crazy Thing Called Motherhood said...

I keep telling myself that I will learn to cook once my youngest goes to school and I actually have enough brain cells clumped together at once to manage preparing a meal that won't send my hubby off to the E.R. ;)