Wednesday, October 15, 2008

I Thought He Knew What It Involved.

At dinner tonight there was some discussion that was not meant to be heard by littler ears so when we got home, I took Ajers aside and we continued the conversation, which had started out with:

How does the egg get fertilized?

You really want to know?

Yeah, I guess I have to know, it’s a fact of life, right?

Well, it’s kind of like a puzzle.

A puzzle?

Yeah, a puzzle.

Perplexed look.

I thought you knew.

Shrug. Grin. Maybe an embarrassed I-think-I-know-but-maybe-not grin.

Well, how do you think it happens?

I know you got naked and got into bed and well, that’s all I knew.

Well, it’s kind of like a puzzle. You know the girl parts and the boy parts?

Yeah.

Strange look.

Well, they have to fit together.

Strange look. Then slow lightbulb. Then:

Like how?

You know, like a puzzle. They have to fit together.

Then really big lightbulb: You mean you put the thing in the thing?

Uh-huh.

Ugh! Uh, NO! That's disgusting! ... Like does dad leave it in there for like an hour?

Not that long.

How do you stand it?

Well, it's not that bad. It’s kind of like a hug, and we love each other, and we’re married.

Let’s not talk about this again like forever!

OK.

OK.

35 comments:

MaBunny said...

ROFLMAO!!!!
Seems we all have kids around the age that we are having to have the talks with. Wow, leaving it in there for an hour???? not sure even I would like that, lmao.
I haven't gotten that kind of question from Nicole yet, but she did find an empty condom wrapper that i thought was disposed of... she saw it , said whats this silver thing? picked it up, read it and said um, I know what this is, and I'm not saying another word. I said good idea and told her to go throw it away. Shes learning, but hasn't come right out and asked, but I think after seeing that, she pretty much knows that we do 'it'.

Melisa said...

*snicker*

Hilarious!

Michelle Kemper Brownlow said...

OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

That was way funnier than MINE!!!!!

You are such a good mom!
Lovethe puzzle illustration....except Ajers will never look at a puzzle the same way again!!

Ha!

Anonymous said...

Glad he found out from you and not from a friend at school. Theres always the toyota and the garage scenario, of dad parking his toyota in moms garage. :)

March to the Sea said...

nice...doing it for an hour...I am sure Mr.Manic would like to chime in...

Ms. R said...

Hahahaha. Maybe it's time for that book "Where did I come from?"

Michelle said...

OMG, I love it! I'm so not looking forward to those conversations, but I know they'll be coming sooner rather than later (I had to explain the concept of slavery yesterday to Mister Man). So nice to see that he'll ask you, although maybe he won't want to talk to you about it again ;)

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

This is the funniest post I have read ALL DAY.

pixiemama said...

OMG, Manic!
As a mother of three boys who are way, way too young to ask this question, I have to thank you for sharing your foray into the world of sex ed. I have no idea of how that conversation will someday happen without totally scarring my kids (yes, scarring, as in, therapy will be required) because I totally fail when I'm put on the spot.

Tanya said...

That's funny. At least he is grossed out by it and doesn't think its "cool". I think you're safe for a few more years.

morninglight mama said...

An hour, huh? Your son has really high aspirations, and just may be VERY popular in college!
(hoping that I didn't just cross THE line...)

This was WAY too funny, Manic-- gotta share it with the lovely hubby!

Ragdoll Billie said...

LOL You should have my experience of two boys, and one baby. That baby is the mother of three of my great-grands today.

I wouldn't trade anything today, but..... back then? Whoa!

Pixiemama, same here. Don't wait to be put on the spot, do your best to call the shots on YOUR terms. And, sometime, experience is not only the best teacher, it is the ONLY teacher unfortunately.

Ragdoll Billie on the Road to Remission

ink and beans said...

That is funny. Nostalgic too. My conversation with my Dad was short and sweet. Not sure how the subject came up but I remember we were doing yard work together.

"Do you know how?" he asked me suddenly, I think more curious than he was feeling responsible for enlightening me.

"The p---- goes somewhere?" I ventured.

"That's right. Do you know where?"

I guessed right on my second try.

Unfortunately, my first guess was: "The mouth?"

He smiled. "Close."

Gretchen said...

Great post! There is NEVER a time when you're comfortable thinking of your parents....
well you know what I mean.

thanks for the lol

Manic Mom said...

INK AND BEANS--I totally Laughed out loud, like a GUFFAW when I read that!

Reminds me of the Newlywed Game when the dude asked, "Where's the most interesting place you've made whoopie?"

I say, she say, In da butt, Bob.

hahahah

ink and beans said...

Glad you liked, Manic. And yes, you should definitely join. Not only is spying on others fun, but you can promote the blog there to people who might not otherwise find their way to you!

If you do join, make sure to tell me so I can "friend" you.

noexcuses said...

You rock, mom!! I remember how grossed out I was when my mom told me! You were exactly what he needed!

A caring word about face...., you may want think about putting restrictions on strangers. They can see you, your friends, and their friends. Unless that's what you are going for.

Great post today!

B. said...

So that's how I got this baby...guess I should lay off the puzzles!

Elle Charlie said...

Hahahahaha! The hour part is really what got me. Hehehehe

Amanda said...

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

So, who was more embarrassed?

Jennifer said...

Manic,
How did you not bust out laughing?
I have a slightly related story about my daughter Allie.She was about 5 when she started to become curious about periods so I explained in the simpilest of terms about the process and about sanitary napkins. She responded with "Ew that's yucky Momma" and that was the end of that.A couple of weeks later I asked Allie to put the napkins out for dinner..can you guess what happened next?

Manic Mom said...

Amanda--Ajers was more embarrassed - I wanted to talk more! Ha.

Jennifer -- Hahahah! I remember the first time Ajers asked, "Mom, what are tampoons?"

Noexcuses--thanks for the heads up on face!

ORION said...

I laughed...and then remembered when my son was 6 and got into the bathroom garbage and made a helicopter out of the cardboard rolls from used tampons and flew it through the living room when we had company...
not a stellar parental moment...

Hally said...

I agree with Michelle. Ajers will never 'do' another puzzle again!

Trish Ryan said...

"Does Dad leave it in there for like an hour?"

This is priceless. Hysterical and wonderful all at the same time.

And nicely done with the puzzle imagery!!!

anymommy said...

And I'm struggling with barking spider conversations. Whew, I have a lot to learn in the next few years. (About how to talk about sex, not the actual sex education, three children later, I've got that.)

Hilarious.

Kelli said...

Good way to put it. I will keep that in mind

Sheri/Cookingmom said...

I love how you said it was a puzzle! What a perfect way to describe it.

I nominated your blog for an award. Please check out mine for the details!

Caffeine Court said...

I can't wait to hear how he explains that to his friends!! You KNOW he will!

"Does he leave it in there for an hour?" "Only if he's drunk honey!!"

Kim Stagliano said...

Well done! And Mr. Manic? Yowza! An hour? ;)

Shakespere said...

Interesting blog. I enjoyed reading it. thanks

Shelley said...

Hehehe.. I remember having this conversation with my oldest when she was 10. I had gotten pregnant (oops!) and she was kind of curious by that point. When I got to the ... umm... fitting the parts together part, she had the same reaction. Gross! She didn't want to hear any more after that.

Ok, really, an hour? I'd say more like 3 minutes. If you're really lucky.

Colorado Writer said...

Okay, I just snorted snot out on the monitor. That is so funny.

Michelle said...

i never thought of it that way
We wish they could go for an hour:)

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