He got ‘em. He loved ‘em. He even got a t-shirt that says: GOT BRACES that he wore to school the very next day. He came home from school and said it was the worst day of school in his life. His FRIENDS, yep, his friends all called him Metal Mouth and made him cry.
My baby.
So yeah, I emailed the teacher, cuz that’s what I do. I contacted the school, which brings me to the next topic …
Unofficial Poll: How many of you would consider going to your children’s elementary school’s Open House without having taken a shower that day? No makeup, no hair done? No shower. Just gross looking. NOT EVEN LIPSTICK.
A few of you maybe? Half a dozen of you? Say maybe you were too busy, or just too tired, or OK, just say it, too damn lazy to take a shower. Who's too lazy to put on a swipe of lipstick? Is not taking a shower and going to your kid's Open House at school that weird? That’s not so out-of-the-ordinary is it?
How ‘bout this?
Another part of the Unofficial Poll:
How many of you would even consider going to your children’s elementary Open House without having put on a bra that day?
Cuz yeah, I went unshowered, no makeup, hair a mess … and Braless.
Call me classy cuz that’s what I is!
Speaking of classy – which I am not (ahem - braless at Open House) but I have to pretend to be for one night soon,
I know you can't tell, but there's a slit in the front and it's floor-length, and low-cut at the neckline. And here is a close-up of the detail
this is the dress I bought for the event being held Valentine’s night that I am attending with the love of my life. Yes, dumbass, it's Mr. Manic. I promise I will tell you the "I’ve-got-awesome-good-karma" dress story very soon because it’s just too awesome of a story to tell ... Oh, and I promise to wear a bra when I wear this dress.
In the meantime, quick, another Unofficial Poll:
What name sounds best for a character in a children’s bedtime story who is a star?
Would your 3 – 11-year-old anxiety-ridden-possible-bedwetter prefer a calming bedtime story with a star character named:
Twink?
Orion?
Glimmer?
Sparks?
I really need you to put your top choice in the comments section, because, I received a contract to write this story! (I will tell you that one of my original top choices listed here was vetoed thanks to Urbandictionary.com showing it as having a perverted definition! Do you know which one it is? Cuz I sure didn't know it had a bad connotation! I'm just naiive that way!
And finally, tomorrow night is the big Sex Talk that the fifth graders are invited to attend at the school. I told Ajers we’ll go to it and sit in the way back row. I said I’ll bring a notebook and I’ll take notes so we can come home and I can blog about how hilarious it was! I joked with him that we could keep track of how many times they say the word “peni$” and stuff like that! This is going to be so much fun! This is the reason we get to be parents! I can’t wait!
So come on! Chime in with your comments:
Twink, Orion, Glimmer, Sparks. Oh, and yeah, it’s a boy star. If you have suggestions too, I would LOVE to hear them.
26 comments:
LOL @ Twink... I don't think you can use that one!
I vote for Orion, if it's a boy star.
Or Sparky. I dunnno why. Maybe cuz I'm tired and it amuses me.
1&2A. Uh maybe....ok fine I took my 5yr old to school whilst dressed like that this morning!!
2A. Glimmer
3A. You must must must take notes on "the talk!"
Wow, that's a lot of questions for us, so let's see if I can rise to the challenge:
1. No shower? Maybe, but I've got really funked up hair if it isn't washed. No makeup? That would just be a regular old day for me!
2. No bra? Not with these went-through-three-pregnancies-and-are-now-deflated-and-droopy boobs. Sorry!
3. I'd vote to use Orion-- the constellation connection with bedtime is kinda sweet, like he's looking down from the heavens on the child as he goes to sleep and calling out, "Don't wet the freaking bed!!"
4. I don't know what it means (and I'm using my mother-in-law's laptop, so I'm afraid to look it up and have something nasty in the history!), but something tells me that Twink sounds kinda dirty. Although Twinkies are just fantastic.
OK, DEE!!! I SOOOO DID NOT HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT A TWINK WAS!!!! LOL!!!
And another LOL--it's Sparks not SPARKY--Sparky is a DOG name! LOL!
DDD -- I think I need to bring a recorder for the whole talk! I might get kicked out if I handwrite notes! Or MAYBE I WILL TWITTER during it! Are you guys on twitter!?!?!?
Morning light--look it up later when you're on your own computer. And hey, we have the same boobs -- you know our lives are similar down to our hubby's names and their height!
I do like Orion, but do you think a 3 year old would get it? Ajers thinks it's too complicated!
Orion is a good one. A child wouldn't get it, but later they'll associate the character with the constellation. Plus it gives the parents a window of opportunity to teach their child about stars. Twink is a girlier name, and resembles Tink a little to closely. Sparks makes me think of a fire safety character, not a star. Glimmer sounds like a pseudonym that an exotic dancer would use on stage.
As for the unofficial polls, I won't go to OPEN HOUSE in less than something resembling publicly acceptable attire. Greasy hair is negotiable. Now if you're talking about mom oversleeping and rushing the kids to school...yes, I've dropped mine off while I wore PJ's, but I can't stand the thought of leaving the house without a bra.
funny word verf that popped up after I hit "Publish"
bartinde-makes me think I need a drink
Congrats on the contract! Orion. I love Orion.
btw -- did you see the email from Heartland today? So sad. Fingers crossed I don't get turned down again on Saturday!
And bad friend of AJers! Then again, I had to call daycare/preschool today to talk to them about my 5 year old being pantsed today by the same child who the previous day lied and said Mister Man was spitting on the blocks. I may be pulling him out if they can't knock this stuff off.
Well, I veto Twink, because that's what we used to call the stupid girl that worked in my office.
I like Glimmer.
I might go without a shower, but not without a bra. In fact, since I'm such an involved *cough* parent, I probably would have skipped the open house altogether.
Take notes, seriously. If anyone asks, just say, "I'm taking notes" and wink ;)
Drop kids to the school bus without shower? Yes, do that regularly. Actually leave the house officially without a shower and/or underwear? NO WAY PEDRO! No make-up? Situation normal.
Oh, and Ajers is right, the whole Orion thing is way to grown up. I vote Glimmer. Concentrate woman! You are dealing with bed wetting, astronomy can wait.
I'm with Ajers. Use Glimmer.
And come to my blog today! There's something waiting for you!
I like Twink or Sparks. If it had been a girl star then Glimmer.
No I haven't gone to open house braless, but maybe minute makeup.
I cna't ait to see your post about the sex talk from the school, that will be too hilarious.
Tell Ajers that having a mouth full of metal is not the end of the world! I had so much dental work when I was in jr high , including my braces. He will survive.
Open House question: No, No, and No!
I have schlepted around the house all day looking like I crawled out of a trash can but at the eleventh hour I shower, slap on the makeup and hoist up the girlfriends.
No bra to an open house would have me tripping all over the building. Some of us aren't lucky enough to have our boobs in the right place still. Mine have gone due south and mean due, south!
You are a brave one Manic.
I am totally feeling Twink!
congratulations on the book; good for you!
Coming out of lurkdom status to weigh in on the questions.
(1) I NEVER leave the house without make-up. Period. Even when we're grinding stumps.
(2) Not a question.. but love the dress. Y'all have an awesome time.
(3) Congratulations on the contract. I THINK the "naughty" word is Twink.. but I have no idea what it means. I would go with Glimmer for a girl star, but either Sparks or Orion for a boy star. Of course.. you could call him "Bright" and have him be the "Star Bright" that kids wish on....
Okay, crawling back to my lurking cave.
jUDY, thanks for coming out of your cave! : )
And for everyone with their comments on the star name! Will let you know what they go with. I have a feeling I won't get the deciding choice!
Yes, Twink is the naughty word, but I never knew!
Twink. Hands down.
Oh- and the story of Orion (the behind the scenes story of the constellation) was that he was a rapist. Beat some girl over the head and dragged her off.
Just sayin
I love Orion!
Oh, you got a contract!!! DISH!!! I am sending out a book proposal next week. Ihad been procrastinating, then what with LOSING MY JOB and all, I decided to go ahead and get it out there.
Oh and like Glimmer.
How come you left out Puddles and Tinkle? I would have to go with Twink out of those choices, but none of them sound like boy names.
Weasel--you know what is hilarious--the whole point of this bedtime story is to get the child's mind off peeing the bed at night-so characters named Puddles and Tinkle would NOT go over very well! I am cracking UP!
I should sooo write childrens' books. My story would be about Puddles Soggy-Pants, who wet the bed nightly. After talking to his parents and teachers he finds out that many adults wet the bed too. Usually only when they have too much to drink or the stomach flu, but he is not alone. Puddles learns that if he limits both water and vodka intake after dinner he will outgrow it, if not he will grow up to join a twelve step program. He is so creeped out by the memory of Uncle Joey trying to 'make amends' to him while in recovery, he gets scarred pissless and never wets the bed again.
See, I'm good at this! WeaselMomma-her mind is a terrible place to be!
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