Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Some Things

You know how dieticians and food gurus and probably Dr. Oz are always saying if you're hungry, grab a handful of nuts? (Heads out of the gutter, class.)

Well, it's bullshit.

A handful of nuts is not going to satiate a starving person. No chance. Now, a quarter pounder, no cheese, ketchup only and a super-size (oops, gotta call it a Value meal now) fries and a large diet coke... now that's gonna stop the hunger.

And I am hungry. But it's a good kinda hunger because pants are fitting a little bit better than they were a week and a half ago. I have totally stuck to WW points for 10 days now, and even if you consider my little drinking binge over the weekend, I don't think I went over the extra 35 points allowed per week, do you? Is there any rule in WW that says you can't use that 35 extra points toward liquor intake? If not, then I'm good.

I went to another one of these things last night. I knew what to expect this time, but I still waited for the scary loud part, where the fears are supposed to emerge, and I needed to let them go. The only thing I could think of in my "semi-conscious conscious state" was what if I kill Lucy the dog?

Lucy the dog is my neighbor's dog. Apparently, she never got the memo that I am not good with dogs. I'm watching Lucy the dog until Saturday. Solely me. I take her for walks, I feed her. I throw the frisbee. I pick up piles of warm mushy poo, and I cringe every time. But so far, so good. She hasn't keeled over. But so that's what I was thinking about when I was supposed to be in some transient state of mind during the Gong Bath.

A Gong Bath is really cool. I don't think I go there for healing. I think I go there for two hours to myself to lie there and do nothing but wait to see what my brain does. And parts of it were like how probably Space Mountain at Disney was ('course I didn't go on Space Mountain cuz I'm a chicken), but with my eyes closed, in a transient relaxed state, I would see squiggles and flashes of light through my eyes. I would be partially dreaming, and then wake up a little bit. Anyway, I'm not a freak or anything. It's just a fun experience. And if the next time Gong Man is around town, and if I have the extra twenty-five bucks to shell out, and if the kids are climbing the walls and driving me crazy, well, then I might just pay me a little visit to the Gong Man again. It's better for you then heading up to the Squirrel Cage (yes, an actual bar here) and getting liquored up. It's also less WW points!

Ajers got contacts yesterday. My baby is growing up! My goodness! He did great at the eye doc, and managed to get them out and back in yesterday, but this a.m. he is having trouble. I am prepared to pick up a crying heaving little boy and smacking him in the face telling him: YOU DID IT YESTERDAY DAMMIT! CAN'T YOU GET THOSE FUCKERS BACK IN YOUR EYES!?!?

And I wanted to say thanks to a reader who outted herself yesterday. I can't tell you how happy her note made me!

I just wanted to take a moment and say thank you for blogging. You have been an inspiration with your humorous realism. I just found myself quoted anonymously on your writer's site, and it brightened my day. I’m the one who posted, “I started reading because I'm a manic mommy-to-be. I continue to read because your posts make me laugh, give me things to look forward to, and help let me know that I am capable of doing this parenting thing. I'm also envious of your writing ability.”

My daughter is now about a week shy of 6 months old, and I have almost forgotten how nervous I was to be a mom. I was so afraid that I would somehow screw this up. Seeing this quote today made me feel better because it made me realize that I’m actually doing this. I’m a mom! And I can’t say I’m a bad one! We’ve had our hurdles, but so far we’ve come through mostly unscathed.

I actually went back through your archives just to see the quote in its original form, and your response below my comment said, “thank you guys! And I wish the anons weren't anonymous! : )” So, now I’m not anonymous. I just don’t have an account.

To make this official: *clears throat and smiles* Hi, Manic! I’m a 27 year old new mom in Memphis, TN, and I’ve greatly appreciated all the laughs you’ve given me! Thanks for making my dreary days brighter and my brighter days brilliant!


Andrea, thank YOU! You are the reason I keep writing as Manic Mom! Thanks to all of you who spend time during your day clicking on Manic Mom. I truly do appreciate it!

Oh, and Cory, I'm sending you your bubble gum blowing prize today!

Peace UP!


Monnik said...

Oh, Manic. I do love your posts...

Anonymous said...

*blushes* This is 2 days in a row you've made me feel special! :) Which ROCKS even more because the rest of my world SUCKS this week!

And I'm right there with you about the "handful of nuts."

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Monnik--thanks! And Andrea, thanks for coming out of the Manic closet!!

Michele_3 said...

Handful of nuts, makes me laugh-
(it never works for me,just the whole container!!)LOL!

Great post!!

Stephanie J. Blake said...

I'd love me a handful of nuts right about now.

Anonymous said...

see I told you those low fat tim tams were good for you :) ....

Great work on keeping up with the WW points!!!

just picking my head up out of the gutter over the handful of nuts...

Stephanie J. Blake said...

Ps. Did the damn tooth fairy EVER come for a visit?

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

I could handle me some choco-covered nuts right about now. Or choco-covered Tim Tams!


Stephanie J. Blake said...


That tooth went to Disney and didn't come out?

That's a "Ripley's Believe it or Not" entry.

Chocolate covered nuts. YUM.

la bellina mammina said...

I love reading your blog too - it's funny and uplifting...Btw, you've been tagged! :-)

xxxx said...

I can't believe Ajers got contacts! Oh, my gosh, he is so big! I was about his age when I got contacts ... maybe a year or two older. And taking them out and putting them in was HELL! The day after I got them I dropped one in a bowl of macaroni and cheese--and that was in the days before disposable contacts. I had to clean that sucker to death!

He will get the hang of it. It's hard at first. Tell him just to be calm. I used to spaz when I didn't get it the first or second time and that makes it soooo much harder!

Kate said...

All I can think is how I'd love a handful of nuts. Hubby is out of town. Again. Damn job.

Oh, and thanks to you and all the loyal Manic readers. If my dad didn't read my blog, I would be posting about How Katie-Kat (and Mr. Katie-Kat) Got Her Groove Back. Hooray!!

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Swish--he was very frustrated yesterday. I gave him a copy of The Secret... Positive thinking! LOL

Kate!!! Oh MY! I am DYING to hear about what's been going on in the NUT DEPARTMENT!!!! YAY For you guys!! Is it because you weren't the most pathetic reader (KIDDING COLORADO!!!!)

Stephanie J. Blake said...

I got a life, remember? It's in the form of tattoo and a trip to LA in August.

Oh ya...

And there is a new drug called: "sextonite" You write it on a post-it note and slip it into your husband's car or dayplanner.

Ben O. said...

Must . . . resist . . . making . . . joke . . . about . . . handful . . . of . . . nuts.


Ben O.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

sextonite--that's a new one!! LOVE IT!

And Ben, why resist, we all haven't!!! GO NUTS!

Anonymous said...

Now I can't stop laughing about coming out of the Manic closet with a handful of nuts! My coworker just made me explain why I have tears rolling down my face from laughing so hard!

Whew! I needed that! It was almost as good as a margarita!

BD said...

One time for all time?

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

BD--what does one time for all time mean?