Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Doctor’s Visit / Grocery Store

I started my day off with a visit to my doctor to discuss the ‘weaning’ process of my anti-depressant. I am now on the lowest possible dose, alternating ½ pill with a full pill. It seems to be working, except when I was having a fit the other day and told myself to chill. So I went into my bedroom and did the “legs-up-the-wall” deep-breathing yoga pose. It worked, until I got up and felt dizzy. You have to get up slowly. I know that now.

The nurse greets me and I never have met this particular one, but she’s funky and fun and I liked her immediately. I started telling her that I want to get off my meds and get on some sort of weight loss med and the only reason I’m ever depressed is because I need to drop some baggage. Weight baggage. Emotionally, I think I’m fine. Happy marriage. Good kids. A nice freelance work-from-home gig. School’s back in session. I am just not good with the back fat and having to wear black t-shirts.

So, I tell the nurse all of this and she tells me she was in the EXACT same place, but she weighed over 200 lbs and she knew she had to fix her head before she could fix her bod, and I’m like, “Yes! Exactly!” And then I tell her about the bag of chips I ate the other day without even breathing, and how just the act of crunching was calming me down, and that when I looked down and discovered all the chips were gone, I immediately felt an “Ahhhh” feeling, followed by the feeling of, “Why the hell did I just devour all of those?”

Like when you eat McDonald French fries. You know that feeling? You chow down on ‘em, and then reach into the bag and you’re like WTF? What happened to my fries??? Where is the salty goodness of my fries! I need more fries!”

That feeling.

So, the nurse was all about my decision of getting of the anti-depressants and getting on the appetite suppressants and I’m all psyched and my blood pressure is good and my pulse is good, and my neighbor brought me over a venti mocha this a.m. out of the blue, so I was feeling pretty darn good. Oh, and I had showered and put on makeup. That helps.

Then my doctor comes in. I love my doctor. Really do. But when she came in, the first thing she says to me is: “You sure you want to go off Effexor?”

Which totally makes me second-guess my decision! Yikes! She just reminded me of how depressed I was last winter. Then I reminded her that it wasn’t LAST winter, but the winter previously and I’ve rectified that depression and will just go to the tanning bed a couple times during the blah season of winter. So she was OK with that. Long story short, we discussed my weaning process, what to expect, and she prescribed me a weight loss drug.

I’m happy. I’m thinking it’s going to give me the jumpstart I need. And yes, I have done Weight Watchers and I totally know it works, and I do love the program, but I need a quick fix to get me motivated. I want some fast results, and I feel this is the way to get it. Oh, I did explain to my doctor that I do exercise 3-6 times a week (will be more now that school’s back in session), and that I’m happy with every aspect of my life except for my weight.

I take my prescription to the grocery store, do a little shopping and go back to the pharmacy in the store to pick up my new get-thin-quick-start-being-happy pills.

“I didn’t fill that one prescription -- that medication isn’t covered by your insurance,” my pharmacist tells me. “It costs $125.”

“WHAT!? Good God!” I yell. In the store. Loudly.

“It’s considered cosmetic,” she tells me.

I look at it this way. It’s emotional, I’m giving up the Effexor to try something new to combat my depression. And I know it totally sounds superficial, and I hope you don’t think I am, but I’m just putting it out there. If I can lose a little weight, I will be happier. Bottom line. And it’s not like I’m not trying to eat better or that I’m not exercising. I AM! But I need a jolt.

So she tells me again that it’s not covered and I ask how can I get it covered, and she doesn’t really have an answer for me, and that it’ll cost $125 if I want it.

“I might as well go get gastric bypass! It’s cheaper than this drug!” I yell.

(Sidenote: I am shaking my head as I write this, fully aware that I’m sounding like a complete idiot. Whatever.)

So, I go home and try to call the insurance company to tell them that it’s not COSMETIC! It’s emotional well-being and for my health! I get nowhere.

Anyway, enough of that story. I’m tired of it. I think I’ll go have some of Tukey’s chocolate chip cookie cake (yes, my baby has turned SIX!) that’s drenched in blue icing… which I purchased at ANOTHER grocery store. And when I went to the other grocery store, I got some helium balloons for Tukey, and as I was waiting for someone to come blow them up, the hottest general manager of a grocery store I’ve EVER seen walked by, gave me a look, and said, “Can I help you?”

Can you help me? HELLOOOOO, CAN YOU HELP ME! Yum! Where do I start! I was thinking all these dirty thoughts in my head, and even considered that I might want to start frequenting THIS grocery store more often if the general manager is THIS hot! Sadly, pathetically, some other dude came to blow my balloons, and I ended up checking every aisle later on in the hopes of getting another glimpse of this supermarket hottie.

And THEN, some woman banging on a watermelon was looking at me, and she’s like, “Hi! How are you!?” Like she totally knew me. I remember everyone I meet. I remember their names, I remember what we talked about, what we ate when we met, how many appletinis we had together. I didn’t KNOW this woman.

And I’m not one for letting a mystery slide by, so I go, “I’m fine, how are you?” And then I paused and said, “How do we know each other??!?”

“Steeple Run.” (Which is a neighboring school.)

“My kids don’t go to Steeple Run.”

“Oh! Well, then you have a twin!”

And the bakery lady says, “Everyone has a twin out there!”

And I’m like, “Wow! I want to see this twin of mine!”

And then I tell the girl, “Well, you look like someone I would want to be friends with!”

WHAT? Am I a freaking idiot? What kind of things come out of my mouth? Sometimes, I just amaze myself with the weirdness that I possess.

Whew.

39 comments:

Andrea said...

Whew! What a day!

Have you pondered discussing a cheaper alternative with your doctor? Or even free samples? Just a thought...

B. said...

And I quote, "...some other dude came to blow my balloons..." That may be the funniest thing I have read all day.

Kristabella said...

Um, where is this grocery store with the hottie that you speak of?

I think I might have to start driving 40 miles for groceries.

Manic Mom said...

Andrea--I have uncovered a way...

B... I laughed when I wrote that. Too bad it wasn't the hot guy to blow my balloons!

KB--Jewel on Maple Avenue in Lisle!

Drew Blackstone said...

Dealing with an insurance co. is like banging your head against a brick wall. It feels so good when you stop.

And a little like exercising.

Cecily R said...

This sounds so super familiar it's scary. I did the whole weaning off Effexor bit a few years ago and then my doc put me on phentermine (which is the half of phen-phen that doesn't cause heart attacks).

It's much cheaper (about 25 bucks a month)and it does suppress your appetite and give your metabolism a little charge as well.

See what your doc thinks about that as an alternative.

And I don't think you're vain...just honest. We all feel like that some days (if not most). Anyone who says otherwise has some pants aflame somewhere! :)

Beth said...

You're not going to win with the insurance company. Buy the meds! Stick with your plan. It's a good one and you already sound so happy just contemplating it.
(BTW - when my sister when off her anti-depressant meds, she lost weight...)

Manic Mom said...

Drew--

GREAT TO SEE YOU BACK! You wrote: Dealing with an insurance co. is like banging your head against a brick wall. It feels so good when you stop.

And a little like exercising.



I say: But not sex! Bwahahahah!

Cecily--I am living your life!!! I didn't include this bit of info in the post, but my doc did agree to the Phentermine and I started taking it today--anything specific I need to know??? I did do yoga and then did a 2-mile walk today. Have a headache now though... if you have suggestions on what I need to do, or can give me advice, I would LOVE to email-chat with you?! manicmommy@comcast.net if you have time to email me about this stuff--the weaning and the starting the new meds!

Beth--Thank YOU for your comment. I didn't add this part in the post but as I mentioned above, I did get Phentermine for $30 a month--that's WAY more doable! Thanks!

Katirocks said...

You crack me up! BTW I have had the same problem with the I need to lose a few issue. What meds did they put you on? I have to pay full price for mine too, but they aren't that much!
I LOVE that quote too, it is too bad the "supermarket hottie" couldn't blow your balloons! It's nice to have your balloons blown every now & then. ha ha
I am loving your blog!!
-Kate

Katirocks said...

Okay, I just read your post from the last day of summer. Too too funny! "White trashy fun" sounds like TONS of fun!!
We went to see Hairspray (for the 2nd time) on the last day of summer! I LOVE Zac/Troy/Link, too!!
- Kate

princessr9 said...

You should try alli. I started it a week ago and lost 3 pounds. So far it's working really well and it's cheaper than $125. My doctor told me the same thing, that she could give me something, but that it's not covered by insurance. So I figured if I'm going to have to pay for it, I may as well pay a little less.

TTQ said...

My deli guy swears I have a twin..same thing over and over..plus he tells me dumb jokes and adds a bit extra to my meat w/o charging me....

Cecily R said...

I just e-mailed you a rather boring novel about Effexor and Phentermine. I forgot to mention that a pharmacist once told me that some docs prescribe Phentermine as a mood enhancer (sometimes along with Prozac), so if it works like it works for my husband, you could get 2 for the price of one!

Anonymous said...

Meant to leave this comment a while ago, and finally catching up: You were the inspiration to keep going with WW when you blogged about being on their site. I was so impressed and it gave me the energy to keep going.

Also, we have the same humor about H.S. reunion webpages. I thought that was hilarious. You might like the blog called small people--this artist had "artist's block" and decided to make these little people and put them in normal places, like the grocery store, and take their picture. They describe falling over in the grocery store aisle at the site of one of them under a pound of butter. Well, a simple pleasure.

Manic Mom said...

Katierocks--would my 9 yo and 6 yo sons like Hairspray? I know Diva will enjoy it ... am thinking of taking them tomorrow!

TTQ--extra meat without charging! That's as good as blow my balloons!

Cecily--did not receive the email yet! Am waiting for it though!

Princessr9--That's the other meds I was thinking of--Alli--I saw a ton of ads for it recently.

Manic Mom said...

Hey anon--great for sticking with WW! I think if I went back and started counting points again, I would see results and keep going!

I'll have to check out that small people blog--is it easy to find? Or if I google small people, will I get that TLC show Little People Big World??

Lynn-Ashton and John's mom said...

I just discovered your blog thru Dawn's blog, but I had to comment on this entry.

2 years ago, my doctor put me on phentermine to help me jump start my diet. I lost 40 pounds in less than 9 months. It works great! I have kept 35-37 of those pounds off.

One thing that I found that really worked for me was to take it 1st thing when I woke up in the morning and then to wait as long as I could to eat breakfast. Ideally like 2 hours. By then, the pills really had a chance to kick in. Also, watch your caffeine intake while on this. I can only drink one can of pop a day, and it has to be early in the day (noonish), or I can't sleep at night. If I drink it later than that, I have to take some diphenhydramine so I can sleep.

Sorry for the rambling from a lurker, but I hope the phentermine helps!

Manic Mom said...

Lynn!!! No apologies for your 'rambling'... this is the stuff that I need to hear, the stuff that will motivate me. I did have 2 diet cokes tonight, and I really am not tired right now. I am going to watch the coffee intake, plus I could save some bucks by not getting Starbucks that much!

I see you're no longer blogging because I went over to leave you a comment. So, anyway, thanks for this!!

Anonymous said...

sandwichmountain.blogspot.com

they are in japan right now, the small people.

the meetings for a year after getting to lifetime helped me, and now, still going to meetings, at least, the monthly. I continue to work on the behavior changes. I have to weigh in each week. I have to practice and practice and follow other people's advice on managing the food at other people's houses, etc. I eat to make others happy--and then I eat when I am mad that I ate to make others happy ("I cooked this special, please eat more ..." that kind of eating for others.) And SO MANY OTHER issues.

Manic Mom said...

I hate issues with food. The meetings definitely help, and the weekly weigh ins! I also used to chart my progress on a graph. It was sooo motivational!

Kate said...

Once again, you made me laugh so hard I had to explain to hubby what I was laughing about. He's also a Manic fan-- and not just because you sent us the candy that one time. :)

Glad you got the meds things straightened out. I think weight it all tied up with how you feel about yourself and it's not cosmetic--jeez. What's wrong with being healthier? Trust me, we'd all intervene if you got down to runway model skinny, because for all but 18 people on the entire planet, that just ain't healthy. A med in combination with exercise and healthy eating sounds like a very healthy plan to me. As long as it's safe and it sounds like it is.

So, best wishes and thanks for sharing your life with us! I know it makes me feel better about myself. Oh, and I have had more than a few meltdowns at pharmacy counters over the years thanks to crummy insurance companies. Sigh. Glad to know I'm not the only one.

Swishy said...

YOU DO NOT HAVE BACK FAT!

Manic Mom said...

Awwww! Kate! You made my night with that kind comment!

And Swishy, yours is kind too, but I DO SO HAVE BACK FAT!! LOL!

la bellina mammina said...

MM
You cracked me up!

And do tell about this hottie GM at the store:-)

Oh,, and happy birthday Tukey!

Katirocks said...

I don't know that they would like it. My sister took her 14 year old son & he was bored out of his mind. But my sister in law took her 9 year old, & he didn't love it, but he said he didn't mind it. I left my 4 1/2 boy at home with a sitter & did the girls night out thing. But I can promise you & your daughter will LOVE it!! Amanda Bynes is in it & they might like her. It's really cute!
Have fun!! - Kate

Katirocks said...

Okay, Lynn called herself a Lurker & I am becoming a STALKER. Sorry, but I just went back & read all the other comments. The doc put me on phentermine too, it so far works great. In the first month I lost 15 lbs. (that's probably alot, but I have ALOT to lose) & I love the stuff. I do take it very early in the a.m. I am up with a newborn though, so I usually take it when I'm up with her about 5 a.m. & then I doze back off until it's time to get kids up. I just feel like it's really in the ol system when I take it earlier! I've loved it!
Good luck! - Kate

Lynn-Ashton and John's mom said...

Oh, I am still blogging, I just changed my address. Although, I should say, I am not very good about updating!

Here is my new blog: tatesfamily.blogspot.com.

Come and visit!

I forgot to say this the first time-from your picture, you really don't look like you need to lose ANY weight!

Manic Mom said...

Lynn, off to check out your blog, and if you're talking about my profile picture, that was taken two years ago next month. Yikes!

I wish I could still fit into those jeans!

secretmom said...

Do you mind if I ask how much weight you want to lose? I'm selfishly wondering if my doctor (whom I have yet to find in Florida) would prescribe it to me to lose 15-20 pounds?

It drives me crazy what insurance companies consider cosmetic! I don't want a free boob job--well, maybe i do--but there is so much evidence about mental health and its impact on physical health, etc. you would think they would be more flexible.

Manic Mom said...

Secret mom--

I need to lose probably 30 lbs. but I would be happy with 20... nah, who am I kidding... 30. Definitely 30 because I was 30 less after doing WW--somehow it just creeped back on when I wasn't looking--probably had my head in a bag-o-chips! : )

cubmommy said...

Thought you would like this.

http://www.welovecelebs.com/wp/news/a-little-zac-for-ya/

Is he 18 yet?

Ello said...

I have back fat and arm fat. I even have a little bit of neck fat which makes putting my hair up in a ponytail a no-no when I go out.

One of my girl friends wanted to have all the bridesmaids wear dresses with sheer gauzy veil-like material covering the sleeves, chest and back. Made me look like sausage links on top of bratwurst. I got hungry just looking at myself. I need to lose 25 to 30 pounds just so I won't hear my middle child tell me "mom, you're not fat, you're spongey." I need to get some of this medicine too! How do I do this?

Andie said...

I don't think you are fat.

and the last few lines of that post... i say random things like that all the time. it drives my husband nuts.

Manic Mom said...

Ello--love the Spongey comment! To get the meds, you should just go tell your doc how upset you are, blah blah blah and you've heard interesting news on this drug and wonder if he/she might write you a prescription.

I have an awesome doc who knows ALL my history so I think that helps. I go to her for anything! And everything!

Andie--thanks! : )

Colorado Writer said...

Oh MM,

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be and feel healthy.

Glad you found a pill that works.

You are the COOLEST mom I know!

PS.
My mother switched to Prozac from Effexor and LOST 15 pounds because she didn't feel like eating sweets anymore. She was eating donuts, cupcakes and twinkies in the middle of the night.

Manic Mom said...

STEPHTEMBER!!! Now that you mention it, I CRAVED SUGAR ON EFFEXOR! things are falling into place!

How's your writing and agent going!?!?

Karen said...

Jeez, what is up with insurance companies?! Besides, aren't most of them on a big fitness kick where they WANT you to lose weight so that you don't have to spend so much on doctors and such? Makes no sense!

Love your stories and your sense of humor. Hilarious! Hi from Wisconsin!

Trish said...

I had a conversation like that too. I bumped into my neighbor and started yakking about our kids starting school even though he totally didn't know who I was...but I just kept on. Poor guy, I'm so mean.

Next day he sees me and slaps his forhead..."ooohhhh it was yooouuu"

No shit Sherlock.

XYZinn said...

Okay, how come every one you know is on this phentermine??!!! How much do you have to lose before they will prescribe it to you. I still have about 12 pounds of baby weight that I need to lose. I feel like I am doing everything..okay, maybe not everything. But it is really annoying and I would totally like a quick fix like everyone else out there! HA! Plus, I am only 5 foot 3 inches, so an extra 12 pounds on me looks like more.