Thursday, September 20, 2007

Shower Epiphany

My good friend Christa once wrote that she gets some of her best ideas when she's in the shower. Well, I had a shower epiphany this a.m. for the book I'm working on.

It's so weird how you'll be washing your hair (finally, after like two days of no showering--it's no wonder I'm itching--I'm DIRTY!), and then suddenly, you're like WOW! THAT is how I need to start the story! Another friend, Karen, was talking about how you need to start a novel with an inciting incident rather than a 'situation' so I need to ramp it up, freak out the reader, get my clutches into the heart of the story and BAM! Hit you with my best shot!

So, now, how am I gonna find like three straight hours to write what's in my head? I don't know, but I'll do it. Because, while I still love my muse
that Swishy and I picked out together, I found another inspiration piece last night, at Hallmark of all places, and when I saw it, I knew I had to have it:



Because I believe I can, so I will. No matter how long it takes!

THere's more up over at 40 Weeks, A Novel if you've been reading, and also, below, is an excerpt on the book I had an epiphany on...

Beware. It's graphic, and NO MOM, IT'S NOT A MEMOIR!!!...

They were in her room, and she felt insecure, like a little girl, like she shouldn’t be in her bedroom with him. It wasn’t grown-up enough. There were stuffed animals, band posters tacked to the walls, books, empty wine cooler bottles, tops and shorts thrown about, magazines tossed on the floor, jewelry and hair clips and makeup piled up on the dresser. She should have cleaned her room, made things more romantic. Hell, she bought new underwear for the occasion; she should have cleaned her room. She knew this would be happening. And she hadn’t prepared.

He didn’t care. He was focused on her, not any other details. He was lying on top of her, and he was still clothed, although he had slipped off her shorts and tank. He stared so hard into her eyes that she could see her own reflection in his deep pupils.

“What?” Her shaky voice took her by surprise.

“God, you’re beautiful.”

It was just what she wanted to hear. It was the perfect thing to say, at the perfect time, and she lifted her head to his, and his mouth found hers, and he kissed her, soft, and then a bit harder, a little demanding. But it was good. It was all good. And even though she was practically naked, she felt so warm beneath him. And safe. Closer than she had ever felt with another person.

He was experienced, more than any of the others. He didn’t rush. Her parents were still at the lake, calling daily to make sure the house hadn’t burned down, and that she was behaving herself. If they only knew.

He moved down to her feet, and caressed her toes, while she tried not to giggle. He looked up at her. “This little piggy…” She was glad she and Collette had gone for pedicures earlier in the week.

Joe moved up slowly, trailing his finger over her calf, circling her knee with his thumb, then rubbing the back of her thigh up toward her butt. Marnie spontaneously arched her back. Be cool, she thought. Be cool.

As he crawled his body up hers, his lips stopped where his fingers had mapped out her skin. He slid his fingers through the hip string of her underwear – satin and purple – then he found the spot he was looking for and smiled at her reaction to his touch. He teased for a while, played with her. She closed her eyes and thought of only what he was doing to her. With her head back and her eyes closed, she felt the warmth of his determined and skilled fingers, of finding his way into her depths, reaching for her. She imagined him wanting to know all of her secrets. She would tell him everything.

There was a moan, and Marnie knew it had come from her, yet she felt like she was in another world, watching someone else do this to another person. Not to her. She focused, and felt Joe reaching deeper, and deeper, until she couldn’t help herself. She grabbed his shoulders and lifted her hips.

“You want to?” he whispered, his face near hers.

“Yes, God yes.”

“I don’t have anything.”

“I don’t care. It’s okay. I just had my period.”

He slid her underwear off and she was already so wet from his fingers. He pulled off his shorts, and Marnie saw cute plaid navy boxers. Her mind clicked over and she wondered if he had chosen special underwear too. Then she shrugged the thought away, sure that guys didn’t think like that. Like girls did.

He pulled off his boxers, and this was the first time she really got to look at him. He was completely naked, and very ready. She ran her hands along the sides of his abdomen up to his strong shoulders, his tanned chest. She looked at his belly button even, the skin smooth, and the spot where he was disconnected from his mother soft and round. A perfect belly button. She grinned, and took him in her own hand, letting him know she was okay with it. With everything – with what he was doing to her, and what he was going to do to her.

He lifted himself onto her, grabbed her wrists, and held onto them over her head with his hands. His hair fell over his eyes. She wanted to see his face, and the blue of his eyes. Wanted to watch him while he did this to her.

Her breasts rose up and her nipples were hard. He leaned down to suck on her neck, then to tease at each nipple. She could feel how hard he was, beside her, naked, and how close he was to her, and her mind was reeling, and she wanted to yell at him to do it. Do it now! Do it now!

She wanted him inside of her.

He pushed her legs further apart with his own knees, and let one of her wrists free, while he clasped her other hand into his own. She reached up to push his hair away from his eyes. He smiled at her and she felt like she might cry.

With his free hand, he led himself into her, and it was easy, and it fit so completely, because she had been wanting this, had been waiting, and the teasing had been going on for so long, and the sharpness took her breath away when he found himself inside her and heat enclosed all of her, like the oxygen had all but been depleted, and she wanted to breathe, but couldn’t, and she wanted to suck in all the air inside of him so she could breathe, so she lifted her head and her lips met his and they found one another and while he was moving in and out of her, purposeful, she was eating at his mouth, tasting all of him, trying to devour him up so she would not forget any of this.

37 comments:

In-Between Panic Attacks said...

So, you're gonna have all the sex addicts on the net devouring this blog post!!! Knowing what I know about this story already, I am really curious to know what your epiphany was!!! You go girl!

Monnik said...

I am usually too sleepy in the shower to get epiphanies. So good for you!

la bellina mammina said...

hmmm.....what happened next?;-)

Swishy said...

I'd love to know what happened in the shower this morning ... HA HA.

I love your Hallmark thingy! Maybe I should get one. My muse isn't doing a whole lot for me either.

Eileen said...

I can't wait to see what links to your site now. : )

You'll have to keep up the showers if it keeps taking you in a good direction. Not to mention those around you may appreciate it.

Anonymous said...

my... what talent you possess...

Manic Mom said...

Oh now I'm really worried about some sex freaks coming to the site. Maybe I'll take it down. Scary!

Trenting said...

Nice.. I feel like such a PERV..
and maybe I am.. [so what] :P

March to the Sea said...

*takes cold shower**

what happens next??!

The Gang's All Here! said...

{{{{shiver, melt, shiver}}}}

Ello said...

THank Goodness I was home when I read that. I could just imagine reading that in my office and having to explain a flushed face and sweaty brow.

The editor in me can't help but point out that there is a small POV switch in the last paragraph where it says "he found himself" when we are in her head.

I thought this was very well done. Very tastefully done too!

Manic Mom said...

Ello!!! You have no idea how much of a problem I have with POV. This one is weird cuz it's not first person, but the only head you're in is Marnie's... so when it's all done, will you be my editor? Then you'll get mentioned in the acknowledgment page for helping me make it better!!! I'm serious!!!!

Thanks all for the nice comments!

Manic Mom said...

And Swish, you personally know what happens in the shower sometimes! Bwahahahahahah!

BTW, I was by myself!

JsTzznU said...

WOW.. MM Ok I NEED a cold Shower!! Wicked good, loved it =)

Drew Blackstone said...

Hey, why did my monitor just fog up from the inside?

BTW, It's not just the shower. All good ideas come while you're in the bathroom.

Crazymamaof6 said...

holy fabulous!

KATE said...

Damn girl! Thats freaking HOT - Good Job!
I'm TOTALLY jealous of your showers, ha ha
- Kate

secretmom said...

Wow! I started, then had to go get a glass of wine to finish :)

Nicely written!

I once had a whole plan to make millions of dollars designing a shower board--a waterproof board that would go in the shower (and perhaps ultimately link digitally to your computer) that you could jot those ideas down on. Of course, I never did a whole lot about it and haven't made my millions, but if I ever decide to, you can be my first customer!

Jenster said...

Clean hair is inspiring.

I was having major doubts about my writing last night and I woke up with "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey on my mind this morning. Haven't heard that song in ages.

Coincidence? Or something else?

BTW - I'm a bit on the hot and bothered side now and DH is out of town. Looks like I need to break out the toy box...

Kate said...

Wow. WOW. Oh, and totally and completely unfair to post this when my hot hubby is OUT OF TOWN! I can't wait for him to come home so we can shower together. :)

I also get tons of ideas in the shower. There are very few distraction there and I'm somehow more connected to my thoughts. I find it a little harder to be dishonest with myself when I'm nekkid under bright lights. Eek.

Eileen said...

Excellent writing!!! You really "moved" me. Keep writing. Glad your shower inspired you, hope your writing session was productive.
Love the Hallmark sign, so true for you.

A Whole Lot of Nothing said...

In the words of Justin, "Damn, Girl. Damn, Girl. Damn, Girl. Damn, Girl..." I TOTALLY zoned in on that. Maybe I need to be getting some action rather than listening to Elmo in the background while I read your work.
I need more!!!
I like the Hallmark sign, too.

amanda doesn't do chic-lit but said...

Now THAT held my attention.....

after the 40 Weeks excerpt I didn't know you had it in you!

Manic Mom said...

amanda--so strange that i get up at 3 am and see that you commented just like one minute ago.

I wonder if any of your hubs got lucky cuz of this post? If so, I would really like to know! Hee hee.

Colorado Writer said...

Awesome! Goosebumps...You are so talented. Time stopped when I read it, just like what happened when I read the excerpt from 40 Weeks.

amanda said...

Like a I said to Kim, glad I don't live near you, we would be friends and dangerous to know!;)

Why are yo up at 3am checking your blog?...or do I not want to know??

Manic Mom said...

Amanda--you are really illusive, but your comments have been cracking me up. Email me OK? manicmommy@comcast.net... I've got questions! : ) And answers!

Patti said...

~cool cloth on forehead~ oh my...

Andrea said...

That must have been QUITE a shower! LOL! I am at work and trying not to blush...

By the way, you've been awarded the Wonder Woman Award on my blog.

Jay Cam said...

lol that was nice...
i was kinda scared for a moment thought because in that picture i thought it said:
"she believed she could and she died"
lol?

Jay Cam said...

Care to trade links with my humor blog? My site is http://jaysmoney.blogspot.com

If would like to trade, post my link, then comment or email me and I will post yours on my site as a permanent link. Send what you want to your link to be called and your link please.
I would appreciate the linkage, Thanks!

amanda said...

OOOH Manic! I've been called many things but never illusive!!

amanda said...

OK, in fairness to my previous "bored" comment, I have checked out the 40 weeks site and have read all there is right up to date. I have come to the conclusions that some days you write how you speak and some days you write like a novelist. There seam to be two distinct styles so try for more novelist days and your revisions will be easier! And yes, it's still growing on me but I'm not yet hooked.

Manic Mom said...

Hey Amanda, if it hasn't hooked ya yet, it won't.

That's all there is to say on that one! : )

But I do like your conclusion on that, and I am going to mull that over for a while...

Andie said...

wow. i need a cigarette after that one. LOL

Rob said...

Working my way down the page and I just found this older post. Wow! Whew! I sure wish I had not read that at work 'cuz now *I* need a cold shower. So hot! Did I saw wow yet? This is going to be like high school again, I am going to need a notebook before I can leave my desk! :o

On another note, I often solve technical problems I have been working on, sometimes for days, while in the shower. Like an teletype machine- Ping! There is the solution I have been looking for!

Manic Mom said...

Rob, Grinning over here. It's neat to know that my writing can have that affect on men even!