Where Are We Going?

[Before I get to the funny stuff, you can still put your name in the hat to win one of the two (or possibly BOTH!) fabulous books in the previous post! So check it out after you read this Ha-Ha that made me grin this morning!]

CONTEST CLOSED! WINNERS TO BE ANNOUNCED ON MONDAY OR TUESDAY
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So, I was gathering up the whites this morning.

WAIT! SHOCKER!

Manic does laundry!

She separates the colors from the whites?

Pick yourselves up off the floor folks. Yes, I do laundry. I have to. It sucks.

We’re in the midst of “Turn off your TV Week,” which incidentally, I am a STRONG OPPOSER of, and the school doesn’t know this, but I have dubbed it, “Turn off your TV and Mom Turns into a Bitch” Week. All the other moms are like, “Oh we have our TV off and we played Monopoly and we went to the park and we have rearranged the Tonka trucks and done fifty bazillion puzzles this week.” Go YOU!

Tukey and I started OUR Monday morning snuggled up on the couch with his chocolate milk “shaken-not-stirred” sippy cup and a rousing two episodes of Curious George. Then, would you believe it, I popped in Alvin and the Chipmunks and let him watch the WHOLE movie while I came into my office and did frivolous internet shit worked hard on freelancing projects all morning! I mean, it’s harder on the MOM than the kid to not have the TV on. It’s the MOM who is punished.

And what’s the point of turning off the TV for one week when it’s just going back on the following Monday?

However, I will say this for my kids. When it’s good weather out, they would much rather be outside riding bikes in the cul de sac, playing football in the front yard, going to the park down the street, or having a picnic of goldfish, pretzels and juice boxes in the little island thing at the cul de sac like they did on Tuesday after school instead of eyes glazed over the TV. So I’m totally OK with TV time. They are not couch ‘tatoes.

Back to the laundry of this morning. I was gathering up the whites before the school bus and for some strange freaky reason, Ajers had on DORA THE EXPLORER?!?!!? Who the heck knows why? Maybe he needed to practice his espanol? Even though he doesn’t take Spanish in fourth grade. Well, you know, my children are advanced after all, but that’s neither here nor there.

Anyway, from upstairs as I’m separating the whites from the colors, I can hear the TV blaring the Dora theme song music.

And I swear to you, this is what I hear:

Where are we going?

REHAB!

Where are we going?

REHAB!*

(see that asterisk, read the small print at the bottom of this post)

I swear to you, Dora and Boots were headed to Rehab!!! Do you think they were going to bring her abuela a bottle of Scotch and a case of beer hidden in a wicker basket?

*Please don’t email me or leave me a comment telling me it’s not funny to joke about rehab because YES IT IS!!! OK, it’s not funny to joke about real life people being in rehab, but it’s HILARIOUS to think that a two-and-a-half foot little espanol girl and a Spanish-speaking monkey with YELLOW boots might be walking through the forest singing, WHERE ARE WE GOING? REHAB! WHERE ARE WE GOING?

REHAB!