Boobs and Balls, and All That Stuff

So, I didn't want to bring this up on the blog because it's UBER personal, but Diva and I went bra shopping the other day. She's been asking, and it's just one of those little teeny training bras and the whole purpose is to cover nippage, and I'm OK with this. She told her brothers, (GOD KNOWS WHY!?!?!) and she made me tell Mr. Manic, but she was nervous about that, like she thought he would make us return them.

Anyway, not the point of the story. This is the story. We were taking Nana Manic and Papa Manic to the airport to go back home to Tampa this a.m. and when we bid them farewell, as soon as they got out of the car, Diva starts whispering to her brothers, and then I hear them discussing the bra.

"Why did you have to tell Nana and Papa about my bra?"

So then they are fighting about the Big Bra Secret and Tukey starts in about how he is a horrible person and he throws his flip-flops and starts crying and Diva's screaming and Ajers is maybe smirking, cuz I can't really tell cuz I'm driving in a shitload of traffic, and there's a ton of chaos in the backseat of the car and I've had it up to freaking here and I let completely LOOSE! (and for those of you grammatically challenged, it's LOOSE, not LOSE. LOSE is to lose one's shoe or a football game. Loose is to let loose, as what I did.)

"SHUT UP! I am about to slam on the brakes, get out of this car and walk 25 feet over there (pointing over there) and scream my freaking head off! EVERY GIRL AND EVERY WOMAN WEARS A BRA! Every girl gets boobs! Every boy will grow balls! Every boy will grow hair on their balls and every penis gets HARD! THESE ARE THE FACTS OF LIFE! NOW WILL EVERYBODY PLEASE SHUT UP!"

There was not one word spoken the whole rest of the way home, although I did hear a couple of sniffles from the back seats.

Hey, be proud of me, at least I didn't drop the EFF bomb this time.