* * * * *
Finally went to the dermatdictologist. Yes, you read that right. My dermatologist is a D I C K! He talks to you like you’re four-and-a-half, and it might as well be a revolving door in his office the amount of time he spends with a patient. He actually scraped an X into my skin! With like a wooden toothpicky tool thing! Hard! So there was a mark like I was a cutter or something. When he was doing it, he said he was doing it to see if hives appear. No shit hives are gonna appear; you are ripping the first layer of skin off the inside softness of my arm! He is evil. And his diagnosis was pure BS if you ask me. Apparently, I have dermagraphihesadick. Apparently, five to 10 percent of ALL people get this. DRY-Freaking Skin! So, he gave me Allegra, and some prescription cortisone, told me to use non-scented soap like Dove Unscented (WHICH DUH! I already do!!!!), and a white unscented lotion. What a jackass.
However, I have not had the midnight itchies since I saw the bastard, so even if he is a dermadictologist… nah, never mind. I don’t like him regardless. And the freaking X was there for two days. I seriously almost took a picture to show you all how evil he is. Evil!
* * * * * *
The kids were having a debate on the different sexes. Tukey was saying he wished he were a girl so he could have a baby. Diva was saying there’s so much pressure when a woman has a baby and that he shouldn’t wish for that, and then somehow they were arguing about it, then Tukey was getting in Diva’s face and threw one down.
His best shot at Diva: “Yeah, well, you’re a TOILET-PAPER WASTER!”
What a GREAT comeback to put us women in our place, Tukey! We USE toilet paper when we pee! And boys don't! I might just have the most cleverest little boy in the entire world. And not only is he clever, he's also a TOILET-PAPER SAVER!
Who knew?
And then he said, just to bring his point all the way home: “When I pee, all I have to do is wiggle it!”
Just a little bit…
Man, you would not believe the stuff that comes up when you do a search on youtube for Wiggle It Just a Little Bit! How cute is THIS little girl I found on youtube?
* * * * * * *
In other Manic stupid news... I had on this shirt the other day that the children just DO NOT LIKE. Ajers was like, “Mom, please change that shirt. It makes me uncomfortable.”
I wasn't going to change out of it. We were going to a HALLOWEEN STORE for crying out loud. My kid's not going to tell me he doesn't approve of what I WEAR!! That's MY job! I like this shirt. I mean it's got a skull on some chick's body!
Plus, it has the word CAFFEINE on the side of it; see that? It's like a skull-girl-chick who is full of caffeine. I don't know, there's a story to this for sure. It's Halloweenish, don't you think?
And, speaking of Halloween... SCARY or ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE?
Here’s to my half-birthday! And a better week ahead!
Oh, and just because there's not enough time in my life for the really important stuff, Tukey and I decided to make our own "Wiggle It" video:
Peace UP! Cuz feelin' down just SUX!
20 comments:
I hate that your dermatologist may be right!
Love the videos. Both of them! lol
Also love the t-shirt. It's very cool in a sick and twisted way. The perfect shirt to wear to a Halloween store.
I would say I have a toilet paper saver, but I think he makes up for it when he HAS to use the toilet paper. I swear he takes the plunger with him when he's going to poop.
Nice you have a child who's trying to save the environment.
I don't like to see it as a toilet paper waster- but more that I keep the TP industry humming along. TP workers need job security.
I would say that given the fact that Gracie forgets to use TP way too often she is a saver, EXCEPT that she has a weird obsession with the stuff and the rolls it comes on. Recently she emptied three rolls so she could make freaking penguin finger puppets out of the empty rolls.
Isaac and I watched the super rad Tukey video twice. Those glasses are bitchin!
okay, yep, no way you can feel down when you have children that freakin' adorable. Omg, hillarious about the tp, and the video is the best. He's got some moves! Here's to a better week! (that's me lifting my wine glass to you)
Jen, I think the derma might be onto something, except for the scarring me part! Maybe he wanted to be a tattoo artist in his former life!
Eileen--gotta keep that industry rollin'... hey, and without the TP industry, what would we do with all the leaf-less trees!
Cec--penguin finger puppets--what a great idea!
Secretmom--Tukey does seem to put things all into perspective huh?
Manic- Love the videos! Especially Tukeys! That's some good stuff & he's a stud!!
I'm sorry your doc is a DICK, I hate dicky doctors! I'm glad you've stopped itching tho!
is that a doodlebop? hahahaha
Toilet Paper Waster! Awesome! And there is no comeback. Besides an open mouthed blank stare.
That mask is 100 kinds of creepy!
fine, i'll just stop using the old tp and see how them boys like that! (not really...i just grossed myself out thinking about it...)
That Wiggle It video was precious! Love the expression on his face and the fact the glasses kept coming off.
As for the toilet paper thing - women are also THE PRIMARY TOILET PAPER ROLL CHANGERS - although male use it too.
I would find a new derm. Pronto.
That mask is way scary to me!
Those were some pretty tight dance moves. Especially from a TP saver.
;)
FYI I bet in high school he will consume more TP in the decorating of houses than a girl does in its normal use.
your video is so cute!
Glad you're having a better week. I can relate to the down/bitchy week you had last week, it's where I'm at today. grrr.
i was giggling at your dermadicktologist comments. Sucks that he's not a good doc, but you sure made it funny!
March--what's a doodlebop--one of those crazy disney things. So glad to be outta that phase!!
Monnik--feel better! Don't be like me last week. I was a B I T C H!!
Funny stuff MM.
I have a ear nose throat guy who is a total dick. He numbed my nose, then stuck a tube down my nose into my throat to tell me I have a lot of phlegm. DUH! It's why I went to him. To see what can be done about the hacking and spitting that happens every morning at my house. Can you say Loogie Champion?
He prescribed Mucinex and told me to drink more water. Oh ya. And my tonsils are GROWING BACK. I had them out when I was 8. He said there is nothing to worry about.
From a google search about going off Wellbutrin and Paxil:
"This is more than likely what is known as Parasthesia, and not poison ivy. It can be a side effect of Wellbutrin as well as Paxil. Give it time and this annoying side effect will go away. It takes time to go away because your brain had adapted to the Paxil and will take time to adapt without either drug. Some daily Brewer's yeast or Nutritional yeast can help (contains essential amino acids) as well as a quality vitamin/mineral supplement."
My son would love that icky shirt!
Your dermatologist sounds just like my ophthalmologist. If you stay in there five minutes it's a record, and you can hardly get a word out of the man, but gosh! He's good. He knows his stuff.
Ok, once again you made me laugh. Today, I had my own couple of problems starting with the toilet over-flowing onto the floor into a one inch puddle through the entire guest bath. Then the car started on the blink. All is well though, as God always takes care of me and my family. It just seems like sometimes when it rains it pours.
OH MY GOSH!! we tried on that hat at the party store last week!! i had on the pink one and big c had on the purple one. some lady said "makes her look so pretty." stupid lady.
maybe he needs a haircut.
so cute!
and the TP saying is classic! make sure to remember it to tell his wife!
I hate doctors that run patients in and out like that. especially when you feel like they are rushing you out.
and I hate dermatologists. Every time I've been to mine, she's tried to sell me skin care shit that really expensive and is the same shit as cetaphil you can get at walgreens.
and she wears a buttload of makeup. Which makes me think the whole time... yeah, apparently you're hiding something....
Post a Comment