Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Tukey Poop

Addendum to Tukey Talks, here's a Tukey Poop for your reading pleasure... or not. This is not for the light-hearted. This is Poop Talk. Consider yourself warned.

Well, Tukey still needs some help in the potty on occasion. It’s because I’m anal (pun intended), and since I’ve been a butt-wipin’, diaper-changer for some point in the past 10 years I have no problem going into the bathroom to help the little guy out once a day.

Beats skidmarks on his skivvies. I hate the thought of tossing poopy-pants into a load of laundry – the thought of that mixing into all the other clothes does not seem like it’s getting clean—it just seems like stuff is being relocated to other clothing. Right? Right.

So, today, I hear the tell-tale yelling from the bathroom, “Moooohhh-oohhhhmmmm! I’m Dooonnnnne!”

I go in, and ask, "You done?" He beams up at me, and leans forward.

I take a quick look-check into the bowl, and, well, let’s just say this was not your typical six-year-old poop!

You know the usual comment, “Looks like you took the Browns to the Superbowl?”

Well, instead, I went with the: TUKEY! My Gosh! You didn’t just take the Browns to the Superbowl!

You took the Browns! You took the Bears, you took the cheerleaders! You brought along the sportscasters, the coaches, and even all the fans to the Superbowl this time around!

His comment:

“Don’t forget the Mascot!”

~ ~ ~

And then, another potty discussion, upon another wiping episode, another day, when Tukey sees me reach for the pack of matches because the smell was quite, well, you know, STINKY!

Tukey, clearly awestruck: You need to light a match?

Me: Yep.

Tukey: You need to light a match all because of me?

Me: Yep.

Tukey: You need to light a match all because of a huge poop from me?

Me: Yep.

Tukey: Wow.

Pause.

Tukey: Can I light it?

Me: Nope.

Tukey: Giggles

Then I hear him go downstairs and say to his friends…

Hey guys, my mom needs to light a match!

And, to quote my cutie Tukey Patookey at his best: The End.

35 comments:

Monnik said...

Nothing beats a good Tukey poop story. Funny stuff, Manic. :)

Tanya said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tanya said...

The things that will impress a child.

Although when he is a teen. I think this post will be a perfect threat to show to all future dates. ;)

Tanya said...

okay I'm really not a triple poster, but I have my own funny story.
I copied my original comment to rewrite it and add to it in the second comment. Well, apparently I left it on my clipboard and pasted it into something work related. Something work -related where there is no going back to edit.
Fortunately, I caught it before the moment of no return, but had I not that would have been really funny. Someone would have wondered why their account was noted with poop.
:D

Melisa said...

Ah Manic, hilarious as always. It's good you're documenting this, because you'll need the laughs when he's a teenager. LOL

Melek said...

i should have heeded your poop warning.... im eating. at least my lunch isnt' meatloaf or something 'brown' :)

March to the Sea said...

whoa nelly.

Andrea said...

I love your kids! LOL! "Don't forget the Mascot!"

I hope you don't mind, but the next time I 'take the Browns to the Superbowl', I will probably be reminded of Tukey and his mascot. Just giving you a heads-up. :)

Melissa said...

LOL on the mascot. Where do they come up with this stuff. I have to say that dd is still pretty impressed with her poop, too. Please tell me they grown out of this phase...

Drewpy Drew said...

I hope you realize that you have just given him a head start in the fart lighting department of his life. In ten years the mothers of his friends will be calling you and saying, "Do you know what your son just taught my son to do?"

And I know that you will be totally proud of him. :)

Rock on.

www.ramble-on-rose.com said...

Now thats a moment to put in his memory book!!! I luv poop stories and that is a ripper!! People here in Oz don't really know the match trick I've had to teach several of my friends the match trick after changing stinky diapers!!

RR

The Gang's All Here! said...

What is it with boys and their poop? My sons regularly compare size and quantity and stench. The Boss thinks its the closest they'll ever come to telling labor and delivery stories :)

Good one for the baby book. And don't worry, you aren't unusual - Baby Blue Eyes still has the occasional yelp for help. Unfortunately, only when he's forgotten the lovely fan that The Boss installed for just such occasions!

amanda said...

What is it about blog mums and poo stories this week?? I check two blogs - that's all - and it's all poo!

Rick said...

Awh, the simple wonders of a good BM. We adults forget to appreciate the simple things in life.

http://organizeddoodles.blogspot.com/

Jules said...

Hee hee.... Good for Tukey!
Jules
House of Jules

Kim Stagliano said...

Hey, from poop I know! I coined the term "Crapisode" in my Huffington Post piece last spring. Ok, we had a poop fest today here. I'm toileting training my 7 year old (she has autism.) She woke at 5:30am. At 5.31am we were on the toilet. She wouldn't pee. At 7:45 she pooped. Big. She never peed! How the hell do you poop in the AM and not PEE! She went on the toilet at school after 11:00am. Kids needs to have a few babies to loosen up that bladder! :) I'm so proud of her, she's really learning and have success. It just takes a long time. Such is autism.

And Manic, I read, "Turkey Poop." LOL!

Eileen said...

I remember those days....can't say that I miss them, but I love reading about your adventures with turkey poop. Too funny!!

Heather said...

You've inspired me. I'm going to wrap my front door tomorrow.I'll post pic's in honor of you...Hey stop by my website to see today's post.

Manic Mom said...

Not T U R K E Y as in BIRD but T U K E Y as in RHYMES with my son's NAME FOLKS!!!

How many of you think I'm talking about wild bird shit?!?!?!?!?

onthegomom said...

I love the fact that he goes to brag to his friends about the match. I cracked the hell up! That reminds me of my son and he is 14... uhh, not the butt wiping rather the braggin on the smell! Just thought I would clarify :-0

Shelley said...

I didn't think you were talking about wild bird shit, but I bet you'd have to light a match after that too.

Great story, I don't have any boys, so I'm not familiar with these monster poops. I mean, I know what my husband brags that he does, but honestly I've never been compelled to look. Let's just say that he coined the term "fantastic feces." He's gross.

And while we're talking about poop, I've always been in the camp of "if you take an exploding shit, you should have to clean the toilet." He doesn't seem to comprehend that. Anyone with me on this??

Sorry...back to your regularly scheduled Manic blogging. :)

My Semblance of Sanity said...

TOO CUTE!!!
WHat a cutie!!!

KATE said...

I love it! What a BOY he is! My little guy is very proud when he stinks up the whole house too! ha ha

amanda said...

Oh the releif! Manic I thought that was what you really named your kids and it was some wierd american thing! LOL!!

And btw, megapoo is not restricted to boys....

Colorado Writer said...

I love poo stories.

My 3 yo says says "It's a man poop," when he's got a big one.

aahcoffee said...

Here in my house we've become huge fans of Kandoo....those lovely butt wiping wipes. Sure saves on having to scrub skidmarks!!!

My husband regularly "drops the kids off at the pool" or "pinches a loaf".....ugh!!!! At least he courtesy flushes. Oh, and one summer he had a job cleaning toilets at a camp and coined the term "fecal art" (the remains in the toilet).

Rob said...

>>What is it with boys and their poop?<<

Ah, heck, we are pretty much fascinated by anything that comes out of our bodies. Boogers, lugies, writing our name in the snow when we pee, the list goes on.

Hell we compete in all those areas! Who can spit the furthest, who can pee the furthest, who can pull the biggest booger, etc. It’s all just part of the male mystique.

Speaking of which, I hate those damned automated toilet flushers. Ya stand up and before you can turn around and admire your handiwork it's GONE. Ya know, something dies deep down inside a man when that happens.

In fact, I think I might do a research paper on male suicide rates and how they have been impacted since the advent of automated flushers!

The Gang's All Here! said...

Thank you, Rob, for that succinct and eye-opening expose on the male art form of poop and the resulting pride and ownership! ROTFL! Sharing this one with the boys here in the Gang house!

Jenster said...

Oh goody! I love poop talk.

I totally agree that it's better to wipe a butt than to deal with skidmarks on the skivvies and said skidmarks being relocated to other clothing.

Taylor did the same thing. Yell, "I'm done!" from the bathroom. So one day he and I are hanging out in my bedroom and Todd was in the bathroom. All of a sudden we hear, "Taylor! I'm done!" and Tay knew immediately what his dad was saying. I thought the poor kid was going to pass out right then and there. LOL!

Heather said...

We call that Chipotle burrito poop in our house. Do ya'll have Chipotle restaurants there?

Manic Mom said...

Yep to Chipotles being here!

Cecily R said...

You have no idea how happy I am that dinner is done.

Congratulations Tu(R)key for makin' a stink!

(Holy crud this word verification is 38 letters long.)

suburbancorrespondent said...

Hey - does that match trick really work? Please tell me. I never heard of it before, but I hate when the kids stink up the powder room right before a guest comes over.

Manic Mom said...

I always use the match! However once I used the big matches from White Barn Candle Co and those are what clogged up my toilet --I blogged about the big overflow a long time ago!! But I light it and toss it into the pot while it's still burning. I think it makes the smell less terrible!!!

carrie & troy keiser said...

thanks for the laugh! hahahehehe:D