Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Mish-Mash Gripey Rant Time

Lots of things on my mind, and I think it'll be cleansing to just let 'er rip here on the blog, so if you're not in the mood for a gripe-fest, kindly move along to the next blog. If you are in the mood for a Manic Mish-Mash Gripe Fest, continue on:

The Dog.
And yeah, I know my mom is gonna read this and she's gonna need a refill on the Xanax, but really mom, it's okay. I love you and dad, hence I have to love the dog.

Dog's name is Lovey.

It's a Jack Russell Terrier.

It's not nearly as bad as the usual JRTs are, as Andie mentioned in a previous comment post, but confession time here:

I Cannot Handle Dogs.

Give me three kids ages three and under, and I'm Wonder Mom. Give me a dog to pet-sit for nine days, and I cannot do it. The thing is, the dog will not poop for me, and I've spent the better part of let's say, five or six hours combined time trying to coax a turd outta the sucker.

Yes, it has shat a few times, for the kids, and Tukey will come runnin' in the house with a grocery bag haphazardly filled with the crap, cheering that the dog went.

Today, apparently Diva took it out and it went green diarhea (spelling wrong, oh well).

It climbs in my bed and hovers under the covers between my legs, and here I am thinking I'm getting lucky but nooooo, it's Lovey, searching for a warm place to lay its head, which just happens to be right in between my legs under the covers.

Then it'll jump out and hours later she will catapult her 19-pound body onto my bed and chest, scaring the sleeping crap out of me, and start licking my face. Dog breath is not my favorite scent.

But overall, she's okay, she's good with the kids, but she HATES any other dog she comes across, and if you live in my 'hood, there's one or two per household so she's running into a lot of pups these days.

The reassuring thing about watching Lovey. My parents know she's 'kinda' being cared for, and I know it's a great favor to my mom and dad and they totally appreciate everything I'm doing for them. That's why they're making a special trip out here the week after Labor Day to watch the kids so Hubby and I can get away for a few days.

So, I'll suck it up and keep feeding, walking, rubbing, coaxing Lovey until my parents come back for her.

Mom and Dad--COME BAAAACK!

End of rant one.

Second Rant:

I have an addiction. Yes, besides this blog! Books and bookstores. I'm going to start a list of all the books I have purchased but have yet read, and I will post it on my main web site, which I am not sure too many of you know it. So, this addiction lends itself to my depression, cuz I'll go to the bookstores, and salivate over all the books I want, touch the covers, feel the insides, read the acknowledgment page and the "about the author" page, scrutinize the author pic, wonder if she (or he, on rare occasion) had the photo professional done, and wonder, "WHY CAN'T THAT BE ME?"

I think I'm working hard to get my novel published. I wrote it. Doesn't that count for something? (No answer required there.) I have sent it out, agents are looking at it. I am thrilled when I don't get my SASE returned in the mail daily, but I am bummed out that I cannot do more to get to the place I wanna be. An Author. It is frustrating as all hell.

I bought Stephanie Klein's Straight Up And Dirty today. And did you hear she is pregnant with twins? I'd post the link but am too lazy. If you don't know who she is, just google and her blog, Greek Tragedy will come up. I used to be angry at her because she seemed so self-involved, but hey, it got her to where she wanted to be: Blog/Author Stardom.

I need to read a ton of books I've purchased, here are a few recent ones:
The Truth About Forever
Secret Society Girl (GO DIANA!)
God-Shaped Hole
Straight Up and Dirty
Eye Contact
Dirty Little Pretty
Come Closer
Baby Trail
Orange something or the other... Oh yeah, Blood Orange (that's been on my floor for a while)

These are the ones that just come to mind quickly. And if I look at my bookshelf, I've got to read:
Running With Scissors
Carrie Pilby
Disturbing the Peace
The Dive From Clausens Pier
Adultery for Beginners
She, Myself and I
Yoga Mamas
The Living Bible (haven't gotten quite through that one yet, but it's on the shelf)
The Matter of Grace

And these are just the books from the first shelf!

Down one more shelf and I find I need to read:
My Life on a Plate
Girl, Interrupted
Gap Creek (which I am most likely never going to read, just because)
The Room Lit By Roses
Mapping the Edge
Having it and Eating It
Story of O (will never finish; just made me run for my night-stand drawer)
The Virgin Suicides
Blue Shoe
American Idle
Lost in the Forest
Escaping into the Open (A writers' novel I should read!)
Me and Emma
Devil Wears Prada (only got to page 56 and now I've seen the movie, so why bother. Note: Diva calls it Devil Wears Products!)

Oh funny, next shelf, first book I need to read also has Devil in the title:
Devil is in the Details
The Naked Truth
The Tenth Circle
Dating Dead Men (I probably won't read this one; got it free at a conference. If I'm not reading the books I WANT to read, then why bother with this one, but I'm sure it's a very nice book).

Next shelf is pretty well repped here with books I've read like Jen Weiner's stuff, but I have not read these:
What Are You Looking At?
Couldn't Keep It To Myself (the Wally Lamb Let's-Have-Inmates-Write-A-Bestseller, which PISSED ME OFF! Cuz, why should inmates get the honor of writing with, and learning from Wally Lamb?)
Getting Over Jack Wagner
Nine And A Half Weeks (Again, saw the movie, but I did buy the book on a sale rack)
Back Pack
White Bikini Panties

Next freaking shelf:
The Art Of Mending
Bird by Bird (again, two birds... two birds in the hand... do what?--This is one I should read to get me outta the funk I'm in)
Second Helpings (I LOVE Megan McCafferty, but haven't gotten to her sequel to Sloppy Firsts, and therefore have resisted purchasing Charmed Thirds)
Riding The Bus with my Sister
Crooked Little Heart
Sam's Letters to Jennifer
The Glass Castle
Slave to Fashion
Scar Tissue

Okay, as I'm sure you are, I'm over it too. There's another whole shelf but I don't feel like doing this anymore. Maybe it's therapeutic for me though. It sickens me to think of the money I spent on these books and I haven't even read them, but I love the fact that they are here in my office, surrounding me, giving me hope that someday I might do what these authors have done.

Lastly, Diva and I were getting ready for bed, and she asked me:

"Mom, how old were you when you had surgery to make your boobs bigger?"

How sad that she lives in a world where she thinks that is the norm, and she's seven for Crying Out Loud!

"Hey baby, this is all me sweety cakes! All me!"

Peace out. Yo Dog. Hey, this pun is intended: This post might be boring to you all, but it felt really good to get it all off my chest!

Candy bars tomorrow!

xo Manic's really manic tonight!


xxxx said...

I am in a biiiiiiitchy mood tonight, and it made me feel better to hear someone gripe besides the little voices in my head!! I totally can't wait for the day when I get to strategically place all the copies of your book on the front table in the bookstore...it WILL happen!

It's my fault anyway. We need our books to come out at the same time and I can't get my act together. I will soon though!!!

Anonymous said...

I. Cannot. STAND. Jack Russel Terriers. They are the devil's dog. And all because the one who lives next door won't shut the hell up, and its high-pitched barking gets on my nerves like nothing else. (It lives outside, of course. After all, why would someone actually want to spend time with their dog?) Anyway, I think you're doing a great pet-sitting job, and at least it'll be over soon--and it has its rewards, too, apparently.

As for the book thoughts, I'm the same way--a major collector who's always wondering about the books' authors. You might really like LibraryThing, http://www.librarything.com/ .

LOL on the boob enhancement comment!

Steve H said...

apparently you and i have the same book issue...

if you are in a funk, go right to 'bird by bird' and read it now. (also, the reason for the title is very funny!)

i read 'running with scissors' a while ago (and a the book store, on a few occaisions, people have asked me if i'm augusten borroughs - i think it's the glasses and baseball hat thing...) and if i were to guess, mr. borroughs might have a james frey deal on his hands. just my opinion.

Anonymous said...

This may cheer you up.. the place in Georgia has emailed me your package has left there building you should get it tomorrow or the next day so look out for it they included an ice brick so the precious cargo wont melt!! It's coming via air express...
As for the books!! Gap Creek was pretty good! I am currently in Love with THE BOOK THIEF by Markus Zusak a REALLY REALLY good book have read it 2 times!! I also just got Stephanie Kliens book and looking forward to reading it.. I love to read!! :) And all my books have been read a couple of times!!

Glad to see it wasnt just me who has been in a bitchy mood.. perhaps its a moon thing... (cant say weather as its bloody cold here!!) I'll blow some of the cool air over for you if you want..


Martini said...

Let's see....how can I add to your rantings and ravings....hmmm.

Agree with your take on the dog. I truly believe you must be a animal enthusiast to fully adore, care for and put up with dog breath.
My kids have one dog...a yellow lab...he can chew his way from here to China...no kidding. Would it kill me if we didn't have the dog? Absolutely not.

My remedy to books...this is so bad...visit the bookstore and read the book there or borrow from a friend. A have a few books I'll read more than once. But they are all motivational readings.

Sorry you didn't get lucky. Perhaps I'll send you a care package with a picture of a dog, a book of my choosing and some chocolate...so you can get lucky.

Allison Winn Scotch said...

Start with The Dive From Clausen's Pier. One of the best books I've ever read.

It's a little heavier than your standard chick lit, so you'll feel productive by reading it!

mamashine said...

I want to come sit in your living room and read all those books. And I'll bring you the ones I've already read that are sitting around here.

Totally agree on the dog thing. Dogs are yucky.

Andie said...

you have alot of reading to do! WOW!

and see, I love it when my dog lays right in between my legs when I'm sleeping. it's the greatest feeling in the world when your dog admires you and is so happy to see you and love you.

But I'm a dog lover. But I also own the mellowest dog of dogs. My dogs likes to sleep and cuddle, but he doesn't like to lick you or give kisses. LOL And he's cute as can be! and not hyper!

Anonymous said...

That's funny about the boobs...my youngest PJ used to call mine "jelly beans"...I guess that means I'd be a candidate for surgery in todays world.

Kelly said...

I cannot believe Diva would ask that question!!
I mean.... I can, but I just think it is really sad.
I'm sure I didn't know what a boob job was until I was 13 or so.
Can't wait for my kid to ask me that one......

TTQ said...

My husband asked me about a month after we started dating if my boobs were real.. I didn't know whether to take it as a compliment or an insult.
I think we hall have the stack of books waiting to be read, I have the bookshelf next to computer filled with MY books, the nightside shelf next to my side of the bed stacked with Library books, all overdue (I support the Library!)
Now I will one up you! The stack of movies from Netflix and the DVR which has used up all free space with reruns of my fav shows..why the DVR- Cause it's summer dammit! I should just delete evry last hour on it, but what if I can't sleep and want to watch CSI Miami from two years ago that I have seen 50 times?
Wait, why am I ranting on your blog?? I have my own blog to rant on. Oh wait I did that already about my Katie Couric procedure..

pog mo thoin said...

Manic - My Fergus is a JTR and he is da bomb! Give Lovey a hug (love the name). I wish I could have a human version of a JTRs' personality.

Hang in there on the novel. When you get published, let me know how you did it. I have stuff ready and waiting for a publisher myself!

Oh - Running with Scissors is very, very, weird. It is incredible to think it is a true story.

Anonymous said...

Carrie Pilby and Running with Scissors are great - read them NOW. They may make you feel better.

You will be published. I can tell.

I heard that the twins were faked for publicity, but who knows. She's not even married yet, is she? Reading her blog, she sounds a little icky and base, and so does her boyfriend, so don't be too jealous. You don't want their gross lives.

Drewpy Drew said...

Add Star Girl by Jerry Spinelli to your must read list. In fact EVERYONE should read it.