Thursday, March 30, 2006

Mommy Break

Yay! I am feeling great today! Had a non-kid day for the most part. Here are the details...

Slept in till about 8:00 a.m.

Got up, went to Weight Watchers to weigh in.

I LOST A WHOPPING 2.2 SINCE WEIGH-IN LAST WEEK! Yahoo! I know writing down everything is key. I have to stick with it.

Traded kids for 1/2 hour each so my neighbor and I could go for separate runs. The weather here is finally SHOUTING SPRING all over the place, and I am loving it. Looking back to January and February, I now realize I am just not a winter person, and that season affected me this year. Glad it's (almost) all over!

Met my good friend S and her good friend S out for lunch. Where we decided to get a bottle of wine. Man, that bottle went down fast; too fast. But it was a great lunch and I had a blast with my best friend from highschool-- we have been through SOOOO much together. Friends like S are irreplaceable! We could laugh forever about the antics of high school and college. Whoa, the memories.

We 'almost' met up at Hugo's (yep, Melanie--that would have been a recipe for disaster!) for an afternoon martini, but it's a good thing we didn't. As it was, I was already running late for the babysitter, and one appletini or key lime martini would have just put me probably in a place I don't need to be on a Thursday afternoon!

Next I hit the salon for some spring cleaning of my own, if you know what I mean. You probably don't though, so I'll tell you. bikiniwax. And I put the little paper undies on BACKWARDS! Well, I think I put them on the right way people are supposed to, but the chick wanted me to put them on THE OTHER WAY in order to make sure everything was even. TMITMITMITMITIMITMIMT... TOO MUCH INFO!

Next I hit B&N where I bought these books:
This one,
this one,
this one,
and this one.

Let me know if you've read any of them and what you think. They were purchased on a whimsical wine buzz.

Now I am back at home with my darling, darling, beautiful, wonderful children who are all outside playing basketball and listening to a CD I made especially for basketball (Pump Up The Jam, Strike It Up, This Love, Fat Boy Slim, DADADA Song, Hollaback Girl, CC Music Factory... you get the picture. They are playing with the two neighbors still in town. We unfortunates who didn't get on a plane to go somewhere exotic, but hey, it's nice and warm here today.

Big Sigh... Ahhhhh. Nice day after a hectic week. How are your Spring Break plans going? Hope well! Oh, and Joel, thanks so much for the song Golden, by Switchfoot. It's awesome!

I'm off to have a Blue Moon. Anyone got an orange slice?

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Getting Old; Way Old

Let's take a moment to remember the Spring Breaks of past, particularly 1988, 1989, and 1990 where I spent three consecutive college Spring Break vacations in Daytona Beach. I could excavate my college journals and tell you these stories:
~ exactly which bars I partied at (Anyone remember Daytona's White Hall hotel?)
~ how many boys (and which colleges they were from - Princeton, Clemson come to mind) I made out with
~ I entered a wet T-shirt contest and lost
~ I did my share of skin baring off a balcony to a crowd of onlookers below (somebody on the next balcony has some very imposing photos of me, and I've often wondered where those photos are, and how many people have seen them?)
~ We stayed up all night and watched the sun rise the night before we were to get on a bus to drive the 24 hours back to college
~ How a guy, who I will always love, (Stever-from college-who is another whole blog entry in itself, and of couse, Stever is one I have Googled on many occasion, but have never found) shaved my legs on the back of the bus on the way down to Daytona
~ Hot tub parties with tons of beer (Old Milwaukee or Meisterbrau seemed to be the beer of choice that first Freshman Spring Break--money was tight, and we hadn't perfected our taste buds for fine beer--we were simply going for cheap -- quantity vs. quality in those days.)
~ How I was awarded the name Puker before we even left our college campus to head to Daytona (Was it my fault the bus didn't arrive on time so we girls started drinking early and didn't stop for a full week?)
~ How we would party all night, dance with random boys, hit the beach at 2 a.m., still drinking, crash in our rooms (or elsewhere), wake up the next day and begin drinking before 10 a.m...

Anyway, my point is not to rehash those memories of college; the point I wanted to make here is that I'm on Day Three of Spring Break At Home With My Children, and I am quite possibly more tired, drained, exhausted, running on empty than I was if I had combined those three Spring Breaks into one.

I have a headache worse than the worst Spring Break hangover; it's 7:00 p.m. and I can quite possibly, DEFINITELY go to bed right now and sleep EASILY until 9:00 a.m. tomorrow.

I am drained. These kids suck the energy right out of me.

Zoo Day... And, one of the most wonderful things about Blogging and the Internet, and communicating with awesome people I would never have a chance to meet otherwise, I got to spend the day with fellow Chick Lit writer, Memoirist and Blogger Gina and her adorable little boy Aidan. Before we met up, through email, I asked if we should exchange pictures so we'd know how to find one another. And at the zoo, in a line of thousands, because, as I mentioned in a previous post, every mom and their non-spring-breaking-families have the same exact ideas on how to entertain their children, it was pretty crowded. But, the crowds parted ways and Gina and I found each other immediately! Friendship match made in Heaven! We had a great time, especially watching the monkeys...

One in particular, which I will explain now.

Well, there was a monkey in a solo compromising position. Actually, he didn't seem to mind it; in fact, this little monkey guy was really enjoying himself, despite the growing audience.

And yep, my kids noticed right away. Probably because I was cracking up at the sight of this little monkey, well, I guess you could say he was 'spanking his own monkey' for lack of a better phrase. Actually, this phrase is perfect. This little monkey was really enjoying himself, and he was on top of one of the highest limbs, and he was all by himself, waxing it up, if you know what I mean. A quick look around, and all the other monkeys, probably the red-swelled butt monkeys ripe for the takin' had all disappeared into corners, shielding their bright red bottoms from Monkey Man on Top of the Tree. It's not like they can feign a headache, or beg off because it's their time of the month, ya know.

While I could have stayed and watched actual nature in action, and my kids were having a great perverse time watching this monkey 'shine', we decided to hit the road, move onto some G-rated animals. However, we did have an interesting conversation on the car ride home, which I will try to relay to you here:

AJERS: How about that monkey who was rolling his penis.

Me: Yep. (So as not to give too much information, I simply acknowledged his comment.)

AJERS: I wonder if it was male or female?


Me: Honey, he had a penis. It was a BOY monkey.

AJERS: Oh. I din't know that it was the same way for animals!


I can't wait for the real sex talks. Dear God, help me!

Tuesday, March 28, 2006


That says Exhausted, in case you weren't sure. And that's what I am. The past two days:

three-mile walk to Starbucks and back.
Kids to open gym at GymQuest.
Ice cream and pretzel treats.
Lunch out with six kids, where I spent the better part of the outting in the bathroom with kids who had to poop or pee.
Attempt at bowling - too long of a wait.
Kids yelling, crying, being ungrateful B-tards because we couldn't go bowling and would go see a movie instead.
Nobody wanted to see Nanny McPhee again.
A trip to the Discovery Museum in which every single solitary mom and their non-Florida-vacationing Spring Break kids also had the same exact stupid idea.
A trip to Cold Stone Creamery.
Back home.

And now someone is crying about something but I've turned off my sensory buttons so I can't really hear anything anyone is saying.

Now she's yelling, "TURN ON, TURN ON, TURN ON!" and I'm like, "WHO ARE YOU YELLING AT?" and she says, "THE TV: IT WON'T TURN ON!"

Get off your ASS and push a button!

This, Day Two of The Spring Break From Hell.

Tune in tomorrow, for Scenes from the Zoo, where I will definitely start the trip out by swallowing two Xanax. (Just kidding, don't want to make any readers mad. I will really start the day with my usual grandenonfatsugarfreevanillalattenowhip, and then, after the caffeine buzz wears off, well, then I'll take the Xanax.)

Monday, March 27, 2006

Oh Boy

It's going to be a l o o o o o n n n n n g Spring Break.

I hear Tukey and Ajers giggling upstairs and I yell, "Are you guys being silly?"

More giggles, and then, "Yes."

They come parading down the stairs doing a Rockettes kind of kicking thing and singing something that sounds like a stripper song, or maybe it was a couple bars from New York, New York, I'm not sure, but then they appear...

And they are both wearing my bras.

It's the first official day of their Spring Break vacation. I better find something for us to do, or my boys might just turn into transvestites this week.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Personal But Who Cares.

Okay, I never, ever talk about my personal life on this blog (ha, yeah right), but I am going to now. So, if you're a relative and don't want to know these things, click on something else pronto:

"Nothing like a case of morning breath to stop an orgasm in its tracks. His, not mine."

That's all I'm saying for now. COme up with your own conculisions, and yes, I had a couple cocktails.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Author Love

I am so excited right now, and I think only people who are real, real, real fans of writing and reading will understand my excitement. I just received a gift in the mail from an author I truly, truly admire, but not in the Annie Wilkes / Paul Sheldon way in Misery where I want to kidnap her and chop off her feet at the ankles. More like how Jennifer Weiner feels about Cameron Diaz. (But that's not the author I'm talking about, although I love JW too, but I think-- no, I DO! -- I love this other author more).

This author sent me, plain old me, just one of her thousands, and yes, I have to say thousands, probably even millions, of readers, something that I will cherish my whole life. This item is now going to be one of the things on my list of: ITEMS TO GRAB FROM HOUSE WHEN IT IS BURNING DOWN IN FLAMES, only after CHILD #1, CHILD #2, CHILD #3 (assuming husband can get out of the house on his own).

Just the thought that a busy best-selling author would take the time to do something like this is so incredible to me. I hope that someday I will have fans of published novels that I have written, and if I do, I will always remember the feelings I've had when an author takes the time out of their busy schedules of family, writing, promoting, marketing to do what may seem a small gesture but is actually a tremendous gift that touches the lives of just one of her readers.

Thank you to my BFF! ; )

Thursday, March 23, 2006

An Untitled Poem Written On The "You, Starbucks And Nutrition" Pamphlet. Today.

Empty - a half-drunk decaf latte...
Futile from the start.
No foam.

Energy wanes
Spirit lacks to soar and
cupfulls of rain drench
the wetness of (my)

Calm quiets me
but roars in the caverns
of my ears.


Yet strangely,
It is all
I hear.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Nappy Napperson

I think I need a nap today! Yep, a yummy little nappy napperson, just cuddled up in my covers, head sunk under the pillows, breathing in the scent of sleep.


Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Diet Day Two

This a.m. I got brave and stepped on the scale.

"GOOD GOD!" I screamed. "It's a good thing I didn't step on that scale yesterday!" I would have slit some wrists or maybe just a package of Oreos open that instant to wallow in self-pity.

But, today is Day Two. I would say on a scale of 1 - 10, my diet today was an 8. Went over a bit on the points, I am pretty sure, thanks to a trip to Target's snack bar, where dinner was a personal pan pizza. But, in my defense, I didn't eat two!

Monday, March 20, 2006

First Day of Spring

And the diet starts today.

I've decided to make this a progressive post today since I've got no laundry, or cleaning, or showering to do today. Ha.

10:28--Haven't eaten anything yet (Don't yell that this is NOT a smart practice. I KNOW THAT!) I will go drink some water now. Stay tuned for more daily minute-by-minute updates. Feel free to make bets in the comment section on the time of day I crash...

10:31--Thinking about Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies.

10:32--Dipped in grandenonfatsugarfreevanillalattes.

10:34--Drank some water.

12:03--Okay, I didn't really drink any water yet. But I am eating a cup of fresh pineapple. 1 WW point. I think I get like 22-24 points a day. Will go drink water now.

1:07--Tallnonfatsugarfreevanillalattenowhip. 2 WW points. Hot new guy barista working there! "Did you just start?" I asked, gazing into his beautiful eyes that match perfectly with his green Starbucks apron. And then, I gave him a dollar tip! Hope he remembers me! Hottie-Barista-Boy.

1:10--Not feeling hungry yet.

4:21--Orville Reddenbacher 94% FF Smart Pop Kettle Korn; WW points: 1-2. I am eating a whole bag. I have discovered that picking up the kids from school causes anxiety and makes me want to devour flourless chocolate cake... yum, doesn't that sound good? The children definitely cause the desire in me to eat. This is a good thing to discover. I will not let the fact that Ajers told Tukey to spit-blow a whole mouthful of reduced-fat wheat thins all over the van floor cause me to stray from today's diet. I did however freeze to death by going to the car wash to immediately vacuum the van. This little stunt caused much stress to me and made me yell and think, FOOD, FOOD, FOOD. I wonder what a therapist would say so far?

5:46--The threatening of the kids after the van vacuum debacle must have worked because they are all being little darlings and I was even able to get an hour's worth of 'real paying' editing work done. And two loads of laundry. I don't feel that hungry. I didn't power walk today, but did both weekend days. And I'm going back to yoga tomorrow! I used to go in the evenings but by 8:30 at night all I wanna do is get into bed and read. So now a neighbor and I are planning on switching mornings to watch each other's kids who are in preschool so we can take turns going to our neighbor friend's yoga class! I hope it will work out for us.

On the food front. I'm going to make that pasta with the extra whole grain and omegas and fibers and crap in it (have had it before, pretty good) with some multi-grain bread, and some tomato/basil sauce. Since I've only had 4-5 WW points today, I'm not worried about dinner. But I'll still post the actual food consumed later. I do think I'll have enough saved WW points to have a Skinny Cow. And go ahead, leave a comment asking, "What's a Skinny Cow?" If you don't know, you must not have ever been concerned with your weight IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE, YOU LUCKY DOGS YOU!

7:10--Okay, I am totally full.
Ate two cups of Barilla Plus Rotini for 6 WW points
1/2 cup of Barilla Tomato and Basil Sauce for 1 point
1 Tablespoon Parma Cheese, another point
Whole Grain Bread--had a lot of this, so made it 4 points (when in doubt, round up!)
Butter--for the bread, 2 points.

And I'm stuffed so I probably will not be needing a Skinny Cow after all.

Total WW point intake today: 19 points

I have three points left over.

I know this is a boring blog post, but keeping track of this today made ME stay on track. I'll try to, I dunno, have an anxiety attack and eat a box of Double Stuff Oreos or something more exciting for tomorrow...

Saturday, March 18, 2006

My Tongue

Thinking I was doing myself a good thing, I brought a huge Jawbreaker candy to the movies the other night so I wouldn't eat popcorn. It took me the whole movie to eat that thing. It was the size of a billiard ball, no lie. Okay, not quite that big, but definitely too big to fit into my mouth at one time. But, it kept me busy, licking away at it and I didn't have one kernel of popcorn.

Once you get the first layer of a Jawbreaker off, it gets kind of, well, prickly. I don't know how else to describe it, but it becomes like a piece of sandpaper, with little prickly prickles in it.

You know how you burn the roof of your mouth on hot pizza cheese,
and you have to wait for the layer to heal, or you burn the tip of your tongue on your coffee? Well, multiply that by a thousand, and then make sure the injury is to your whole tongue, not just the tip. That's what happened to me.

I seriously damaged my tongue in the process of eating this Jawbreaker. A whole layer of skin is peeling from my tongue, and my tongue is all white. It's like when you peel from a sunburn. My tongue feels like a piece of velcro and every now and then a little piece of dead skin finds its way out of my mouth.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Productive? Not So Much

~Ajers woke me up.
~I begged for 10 more minutes.
~Slept 9 more minutes.
~Heard, "MOM, GET UP!"
~Got up.
~Microwaved waffles, sausage biscuit, mini pancakes.
~Read Tukey a book.
~Laid in Tukey's bed as I tricked him into getting dressed.
~Took Tukey to school.
~Got a grandenonfatcinnamondolcelattelitewhip and two M&M sugar cookies, and a Ventinonfatmochaoneandahalfshotsnofoamnowhip but I asked for it like Elmer Fudd, and said, No Woam, No Fip. This was for Lisa.
~Went to Lisa's house.
~Crawled into bed with Lisa.
~Told her I loved her.
~Told her Coffee Talk with her does something different to me--my seratonin excels when I'm drinking coffee with Lisa--we just laugh and laugh.
~Sat there with Lisa calling Oprah fat (well, not really, but we were yelling at the TV that she's not a size six!
~Went to Diva's school and read to them.
~Met Lisa and her husband out for lunch, at yes, Melanie--HUGO'S!
~Ate the following: Shrimp bisque, BLT, fries.
~Lisa had to order us a brownie sundae.
~Ate that too.
~Picked up Tukey.
~Came home.
~Checked Email.
~Laid in my bed with Tukey while he watched Spongebob and I dozed.
~Then he watched Jimmy Neutron while I dozed some more.
~Then I went to the bus to get Diva and Ajers.
~Then I checked more email.
~Cleaned up a little.
~Searched all over for Diva's homework packet.
~Could not find it.
~Felt full from all that food.
~Cleaned up a little more.
~Maybe more email, a blog or two.
~Sent an email to an author I adore to be named later who I had the totally immense honor of meeting and chatting with her last night, and I'll tell you all about it later in another post because the experience is still percolating in my mind!
~Took the kids and two neighbor girls to see this really good movie, using my rainchecks from last week's theater debacle, but paying legitimately for everything else (except the diet 7-UPs and juice boxes I snuck in).
~Came home.
~Giving some thought on what I can feed the children, even though they won't be hungry because they just ate five pounds of popcorn and two pounds of Sour Patch watermelons.
~Blogged about my day.

So. Productive day? Absolutely NOT.

Good day? Absofreakinlutely!

What'd you guys do today, and what plans do you have for St. Patrick's Day?

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Fire Story

Okay, as some of you may already know, Hubby and I hosted an adult actual grown-up party for his management team this weekend. We shipped the kids off for TWO NIGHTS (thanks to G'ma and G'pa!) and had the whole weekend to be adults and grown-ups, and admittedly, a little lonely in our big, quiet house. But, we dealt.

Anyway, our very awesome, dear friend, who I have boasted about in the past on here, is a chef, and he catered our party, complete with his chef uniform and assistant (aka his sister, but she was dressed in the whole white/black and bow-tie ensemble so we were pretending to be really classy and elegant!)

Ha. Did we fool 'em or what?

So, here is a glance at the amazing menu and all the items served throughout the night:
~Candied Walnuts
~Cinnamon Star Anise Almonds
~Roasted Eggplant Dip
~Pesto Dip
~Cheesy Caramelized Onion Dip
~Various Breads

And then, the heavy appetizers:
~Champagne Gelee with Pomegranate
~Smoked Salmon with Wild Caper and Mango in Radish Slice
~Foccacia Bites with Pine Nuts, Roasted Peppers, Tomatoes, Mushrooms
~Bacon Wrapped Dates with Chorizo
~Spoon of Risotto with Prosciutto
~Coconut Grilled Chicken in Lettuce
~Herb and Spice Smoked Sirloin with truffled Potato Crostini
~Crab Cakes with Citrus Aioli

~Citrus Bars
~Chocolate Mousse Cake with Pistachio Crust
~Banana Bread Bites

So, the party is in full swing, I'm meeting these people who Hub works with every day, and liking them all, and their spouses too, which is always a plus. I had a few glasses of wine, but given the choice of getting drunk or eating all the food in sight, well, I took the high road and pigged out. Immensely.

As the night rolled on, we experienced the sequel to Wedding Crashers, but we had Party Crashers.

[Insert major sidenote, aka "we interrupt this blog post to give you something else to read"]

See, I guess I forgot to tell you all about how our friend in the 'hood stole back his Irish flag that his ex-brother-in-law's wife or somebody was in possession of. So, a conspiracy errupted a few nights before Christmas, while wine and Irish Coffees with tons of whip cream were flowing, and a getaway car (MINE!) was driven by a newly branded 16-year old licensed daughter of the neighbor who's flag was being waved at the ex-brother-in laws' whoever's house, and the original owner of said flag (aka Bagpipe Man) wanted it back.

Note: I had absolutely no participation in this initial flag heist.

Fast-forward to this past Friday night when Hub and I drove by our friend's home, and I see the stolen flag being displayed at the perpetrator's home, who apparently, rightfully owns this beautiful ode to his heritage.

So, what do I do? God, this admission thing is getting to be way too much. First I tell you how I am a Movie Hopper, and now I'm sharing the fact that I am a Flag-Stealer too!

Yes, I restole the stolen flag. I told Hub to stop the car, and that I was going to get the flag. I could not believe they were so openly displaying their goods. Their stolen goods, even though it originally belonged to them.

Did we go home with it? Of course not. We had to go over to the 'other' neighbor's house who was also in cahoots with the original thievery to show her our contraband.

So, flash-forward to Saturday night's adult party and I walk through our foyer and do a double-take when I see Bagpipe Man standing in the doorway. The look on my face said: YOU GOT ME. I STOLE THE FLAG. NOW COME ON IN AND HAVE A DRINK!

So, Bagpipe Man and Bagpipe Man's Wife willingly crashed our party, we brought out the flag and had a terrific time sharing the story of the twice stolen flag with Hub's coworkers.

And then one Irish guy broke out in complete Brogue and started singing nasty limericks that had words rhyming with Spunt and Spenis.

I guess about this time, some people are leaving, and one guest, still to be unnamed and not forthcoming, used the powder room. I had candles lit thoughout the house, and this one particulary had been glowing nicely since 7:00 p.m. It is now one in the morning.

Hub smells smoke. The second he smells smoke, an ear-piercing screeching, animals-are-dying sound rumbles through the house.

Our security system/fire alarm from ADT works! And quickly and loudly. The smoke smell is getting stronger, Hub spots the flames in the bathroom, tears the hanging hand towel from the wall hook, slams it into the sink and turns the water on full force.

Fire out. My hero.

The same time this is all happening, the phone is ringing, but I can barely hear it as the screaming alarm is still blaring and we have absolutely no idea how to turn it off. It's not like the smoke detectors you can pull the battery out. This one is an additional one where the security company calls you to make sure the house is really on fire.

Security Guy: We just got a signal that there's a fire.

I'm thinking, Cool! It really does work! All that extra money to protect us sure came in handy just now.

Me: Yes, but it's out now. It was a hand towel and my husband got the flames out.

SG: Do you need the fire department?

Me: NO!

SG: Okay, what is your passcode?

Me: Uhm... 6029?

SG: No, it's more like a name.

Me: Uhm... Diva?

SG: No. Five Letters.

Me: Tukey?

SG: No. More like a last name?

Me: Geeze, am I on one of those game shows or something? Can I pick a curtain at least?

SG: Can you tell me who's on your emergency call list?

Phew! I get this one right. Then I ramble off other stuff just to prove I'm who I am, and when I'm done reciting everything I know about anyone I've ever met, he finally believes me.

SG: Okay. Would you like to know your passcode?

Me: Yes! Please yes! Tell me.

SG: Okay. It's... are you ready?

Me: Yes! Tell me!

SG: Got a pen so you won't forget?

I run to get a pen and paper.

Me: Okay, I'm ready. What is my passcode?

SG: It's two words...

Me: Okay!

SG: Freaking Idiot.

Okay, did you laugh? Cuz that's not really my passcode, and when I typed that out, at first I thought it would be funny, and I almost used another F word in front of Idiot, but I decided not to. Now I can't tell if that was that funny or not. It was hilarious when I thought it up in my head.

Anyway, here is my thought. If I was really somebody setting fire to a house, and I wasn't really the person who lived there, do you think I'd be stupid enough to answer the phone of the home I'm arsonizing?

(I know that's not a real word, so no comments please, and also, no comments that it serves me right that my house almost burned down because I am not only a Movie Hopper but a Flag Stealer too, and I deserve to have my house burn to the ground.)

I'm out for now! I think I'm going to go play some Talking Heads...sing it with me folks...

"Burning down the house, mah house!"

Sunday, March 12, 2006


If you haven't had a chance to review the comments on the previous post on sneaking into movies, there's some interesting 'takes' on this dishonest hobby. So, take a look at what's been said, and read my admission of guilt in the comments.

Three 'thefty' things I'm not proud of as I look back to my 'younger' years: dining and ditching at Dunkin' Donuts one late night (only because we could not get the attention of the cashier, and we really did try); only leaving a twenty-dollar bill for a Mexican dinner and quite a few beers because the service was the worst service we'd ever had in our entire lives and we had been waiting for half-an-hour for the bill; paying for late-night snacks at a grocery store, but not being charged for the case of Diet Coke, and not letting them know as we left the store; and the last one I'm not saying because I should leave some things private.

Share some morally questioning things you've done in the past, if you'd like to.

Check back later and I'll tell you about how we almost burned our house down Saturday night. It gave new meaning to the song by Talking Heads...Good times, good times.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Wrestling With My Consciousness

Okay, so it's a day off of school here, and really gloomy weather (but hey! I'm not complaining OR depressed; instead, I worked out, showered, made kids an awesome breakfast, but that is beside the point of this post).

We were going to go see a movie, so I think, "Why not see two?"

Do you think it's synonymous with 'stealing' if you pay for one movie and watch it, but then decide to go see another one after the first movie is over?

(Note to my dear friend S: Do Not Answer This One because I know you are probably mad that I'm doing this--but I didn't do it at your theater! LOL)
Oh, and I just remembered a dream I had last night where we were in Daytona, drunk, of course, and you lost your purse but I found it for you!)

Okay, back to the movie thing-- it was a premeditated thing to do because I figured out the times of Curious George and then Aquamarine and figured we could do them both. Heck, school is out, it's yuck weather, how to entertain the kids? Why not teach them to be delinquent stealers of movies?

Anyway, I just want to know if you think I'm a bad person for doing this and if it's possible for me to go to hell for this? Is it a sin? Did I do something illegal, dishonest? But come on! Five bucks for a bucket of popcorn, $3.75 for a soda with a ton of ice...THREE DOLLARS FOR A BOTTLED WATER? If that's not dishonest, I don't know what is!

Anyway, moral of the story is, we did watch Curious George, and then we did (for lack of a better word) sneak (but not stealthily, we actually just walked on in) into Aquamarine. And it was a good movie, we were all enjoying it, laughing at the shenanigans of the characters on the screen, wondering what was going to happen, who was the cute guy Ray going to kiss--the homely tomboyish girl or the fishgirl?... and then, and then it happened.

The film reel literally melted itself onto the screen and everything went blank halfway through the movie.

I betcha that wouldn't have happened had I not been dishonest.

But you betcha I did take the rainchecks that were offered to me since the movie died.

And you know what? If I didn't have a parent/teacher conference at 5:30 tonight, I woulda taken my crew right across the hall to see the 4:00 p.m. viewing of Eight Below.

So, am I going to burn in hell for this? I'm looking to you all for salvation, including Anonymous 1 and Anonymous 2, who I am enjoying your thoughts immensely--(can we give you some 'fake' names in order to keep you two straight so we all know which one of you are commenting? Like, if you're both girls--can you name yourselves Thelma and Louise or Laverne and Shirley so you don't get mixed up?)

Anyway, friends, redeem me or persecute... I'm all yours.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006


Do you know how easy it would be to eat nine Double Stuff Oreos?

I do.

Note to self: Next time I'm in the cookie aisle, don't let Tukey choose his favorite!

Tell me your best cookie story.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Just Stuff

So, I was having this dream that I was in high school and I had on these way-too-tight capri khaki pants, and let me tell you, I don't own capri khaki pants--I don't own any khaki clothing period. But I had these pants on in my dream, way too tight, and I had like peach and white granny underwear on and you could totally see them through the khakis in my dream. I was finding my way to classes and trying to make sure no one saw my butt and then someone did and made a comment, a not-nice comment and then I was even more self-conscious over the whole thing. I was the new girl and there was a table with two brown girls and I was talking to them cuz one was the editor of the school paper and she was going to try to help me get in with them, and then my other friends got mad and told me not to talk to them, like it was the 1950s or something and it was the whole back-of-the-bus, no-water-fountain-drinking stuff all over again. Dumb.

Then I had to find where I parked my car and it was actually a tricycle and I finally found it. Not sure why that part was in the dream.

Finally, I was running through the mud and grass and all these little wormsnakes kept popping up all over the place so I was jumping up at every step to make sure I wouldn't step on the scary snakes or smush them all over my feet. I kept jumping and jumping and squealing and yelling Ewww Gross because there were so many of these gray, ugly wormsnakes and they were freaking me out.

Next thing you know, there's AJ trying to wake me up. I've told you before how he gets up, gets dressed, watches a little TV and then comes to wake me up at 7:00 a.m. so I can get Diva up and get them breakfast. (He is my adorable little alarm clock!) So, he's waking me up and when I wake, he says, "What were you doing?"

I'm like, "Sleeping."

"No," he says. "With your legs? You were kicking them up and down and all over the place, shaking them."

I laughed and told him, "I was running away from the snakes!" Apparently, when I dream, I actually DO the things I'm dreaming about while I'm sleeping! Who knew? Too weird.

So, more of this Just Stuff stuff... the anonymous poster (who wrote this:
...I have read your blog for a while and I'll have to say, you really need some help. Your blogs have been extremely negative and to be frank, depressing. I use to love your blog but now can't stand to hear the complaining. "change the channel?" Well I am ) will be thrilled to know that because of his/her comment, I have changed my ways and am trying to no longer be "extremely negative and depressing." Anonymous poster, because of you, my life has changed for the better! So, thank you so much anonymous poster for showing me that my negativity and depressive expressions were not only boring readers, but they were also being very harmful to me. I wish you hadn't stopped reading. I feel I can now be a friend to you, seeing as I'm no longer negative and depressed. Thank you.

Yes, I really was suffering from S.A.D. (seasonal affective disorder) and while it seems like a mild 'problem' to have, it really did disrupt my life for the months of January and February. I had been to the doctor, who took blood, yada yada, I cried, yada, yada, they sent me for a thyroid ultrasound which thankfully, turned out to be normal, but the two minutes she left me in the room after the ultrasound so she could "Check the pictures to make sure I did them right" my mind was reeling with thoughts of disease and all that other shit that goes along with disease. But, apparently, I'm okay, and I'm very thankful for that. Some people might call me a hypochondriac, but you know what I say? If I'm feeling skeptical about my health, or concerned that I'm not feeling the way I know I usually feel, then I'm going to use that health insurance I've got and get myself checked out. I am very proactive when it comes to my health, and the health of my loved ones. I don't "wait and see" for nobody!

Let's see, what is coming up in Manic Mom's life? Hub is throwing a 'party' for his colleagues as a thank you for their hard work and dedication to the company. I told him, "Oh great, now I have to play the 'wife'" -- he said I don't have to; just to be myself, soooo bring on the cosmos! I just hope I don't spill the beans on any private stuff I should not be sharing with these folks. Kids will be at the in-laws for the whole weekend (thanks G'ma and G'pa!) so we've got the whole house to ourselves (sorry G'ma and G'pa--bet ya didn't want to know that!) I'm planning a date night for Friday. It's been years since Hub and I have been on a 'date.' Okay, last summer, but it feels like years!

On the writing front, I'm gearing up to do a major overhaul on 40 Weeks at the suggestions/comments of some people in higher places. I think getting into this revision is just like beginning a diet program, exercise program or getting in the mood for sex--I just have to jump in head first and start doing it, and then I'll be thrilled with the results!

Thanks to all of you who left fabulous suggestions on the itunes front. Also, if anyone knows how to 'share' music with others, my sister and I are trying to trade music!

Sorry so boring, but just felt like talking with you! Hope you all are well! I finally am! xo

Monday, March 06, 2006

iTunes Help

Hey all! I've got $30 worth of iTunes gift cards buring a hole in my pocket and I want to buy really, really, really good music that will motivate me when I exercise (even though it's freaking snowing here, and it WASN'T in Maryland so when I came home I was all like, bummer, this sucks, and of course, didn't exercise today).

Can you leave me some song suggestions in the comments?

I've already got Yaz, Cure, New Order, U2, Peter Gabriel, Dave Matthews, Natalie Merchant, Poi Dog Pondering, Seal, Cold Play, Black Eyed Peas, Counting Crows, Depeche Mode, Bodeans, Simply Red, Neil Diamond, The Wiggles, Barney's Greatest Hits, Kidz Bop V, Bee Gees, Barry Manilow, John Denver... haha, just seeing if you're paying attention with those last few...

And new stuff. I have no clue what new stuff is, although I hear that song about it being hard to be a pimp is pretty rockin' (Ugh, sorry, but the Oscars hit a new low with that one last night, don't you think so?)

Also, any of you thirty-somethingers out there, any 'old school' tunes you can think of that just bring you back to those 'good-old' days? And speaking of Thirty Something... remember when we were barely in our twenties watching that show, thinking, God, thirty is JUST sooo old, but also thinking that Hope and Michael, and Elliot and the rest of the Thirty Something crew did have some fun for being old folks! ha.

Anyway, lay them songs up on me please!

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Where Was I?

I was near something white

I was near something blue

I was near something "merry"(land)

I was near something new!

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Where Am I?

I still can't tell you but I can say the grey-goose applemartinis are FAH-BULOUS!!!!

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Off For A While

Here's a riddle for you. See if you can figure out where I'm going:

I'll be near something white
I'll be near something blue
I'll be near something merry
I'll be near something new!

Any guesses? Be back Sunday...have a great weekend!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Quote of the Day

Ajers is packing up his backpack, getting on his coat, and he looks at his sister and says, "Ready to roll out?"

What? He's eight.

I'm surprised he didn't shoot me a Gangsta sign and say, "Word to your mutha" when he left for the bus.