Tuesday, December 30, 2008



Welcome to 2009 everyone, and yes, this is how I want to start off the New Year, with another Virtual Blog for Blood Drive, and this year, like last year, I am asking you to donate blood anytime during January 1, 2009 through February 28, 2009 to enter to win amazing prizes.

I donated my pint yesterday at my favorite Heartland Blood Center!

Here are the details and a quick explanation of what happened last year for those of you new to the scene:

In January 2008, on a whim, blogger Manic Mommy took her three kids and three of their friends with her while she donated blood. Since it was such a cinch with six kids in tow, she wanted to see if she could get others to donate and she spearheaded what she believes to be the first ever virtual blood drive. She convinced 35 blog readers (some of whom had never donated blood in their lives) to donate blood. In all, approximately 100 lives were saved through their combined efforts, and gift cards and various other gifts were awarded to winners. An anonymous blogger even matched the prize money to buy gift cards, and people whom had never donated blood now donate regularly every eight weeks.

This year, Manic Mommy’s Virtual Blood Drive will run from January 1 through February 28, 2009. And it gets even better for those donating in 2009. Aside from additional other fun prizes which will be announced throughout the contest, one grand prize RANDOM winner will receive luxury accommodations for six days, five nights at Sandestin Golf & Beach Resort* (www.sandestin.com). To enter, simply go to your local blood bank and donate blood between January 1 - February 28, 2009. Have your photo taken IN THE CHAIR while you are donating blood and send your photo to manicmommy@comcast.net. Include your name, city, state and email address, and what inspired you to donate. Photos/inspirational stories will be posted every Sunday during the contest.

Additional IMPORTANT information:

Do not let the blood bank tell you that you can't have your photo taken because you are allowed to. You may not be allowed to have a photo taken of them inserting the needle, but there are no laws prohibiting photo taking while donating blood. Best way to show proof is by you being in the chair with the needle in your arm, obviously, but if they give you a hard time, a photo in the donation center, with your BE NICE TO ME, I GAVE BLOOD sticker, and other ways to show proof will be accepted. Use your good judgment!

Blood relatives and my immediate friends are NOT eligible to win the grand prize trip to Florida, however they are eligible to win the other prizes awarded.

If you donate twice during the contest (this means you have to donate like TOMORROW to be able to donate again in the timeframe), then your name will be entered twice into the contest.

If you cannot donate blood for some reason but would like to donate a monetary gift toward contest prizes, please email me at manicmommy@comcast.net.
I would be forever grateful, and any small amount is very much appreciated! Most likely these donations will go toward a second-prize or third-prize Visa or MasterCard gift card, much like what was done last year. Or, if you work for a company and think you may have a prize that might inspire others to donate, please feel free to let me know! It's all for an excellent cause - LIVES!

Like last year, for everyone who donates blood, I will put forth my own money toward the second place prize, which will be anywhere between one to three dollars per person who donates (at my descretion as the contest progresses).

More information will follow about the incredible GRAND PRIZE TRIP to Sandestin's premier getaway resort spot: Sandestin Golf & Beach Resort, but in the meantime, take a peak at their FABULOUS website: www.sandestin.com.

Every Sunday I will post the pictures and the names of those of you who have generously donated. When you send your photos in, please email them to manicmommy@comcast.net and include your full name, city/state and email address. Include a short paragraph on why you chose to donate.

Last year I mentioned that ONE PINT OF BLOOD SAVES up to THREE LIVES and one pint can save up to FIVE BABIES, but my mother, WHO DONATED YESTERDAY AS WELL (Thanks MOM!), reminded me that donating blood doesn't equal 1 pint saving three lives. Donating blood saves FAMILIES.

Take that into consideration and please meet the Manic Mommy Virtual Blog for Blood Drive Challenge!

It not only will save lives, it could mean a terrific Florida getaway to Sandestin Golf & Beach Resort as well!

Any questions, please leave them in the comment section and I will answer them there! Thank you all!

*Accomodations include two-bedroom, full kitchen and living room; black-out dates and restrictions apply; does not include travel.

Monday, December 29, 2008


You know it's bad when you are getting dressed and you start by clipping on your bra and you say the silent mantra:

I hate bras
I hate bras
I hate bras
I hate bras

while you are putting it on.

And then ...

You pick up the jeans you see on the floor where you are certain you left them last night and put them on, and while you are attempting the zip-up, you say in your head a kind-of-whisper-thing:

These cannot be the jeans I just took of LAST NIGHT!

Friday, December 26, 2008

NoW THaT SaNTa'S GoNe ...

Guess what's next for Manic Mommy?

Here are a couple clues:

It's WAY bigger and BETTER than you can even guess from last time we did this here!

Do you know what's coming?

And more important ... ARE YOU READY?

Wednesday, December 24, 2008


I didn't do cards this year. So here's a BLOG CARD and VIDEO:

Have a blessed Christmas everyone!

Happy Holidays, and THANK YOU for reading my little blog!

Sunday, December 21, 2008


So you might have heard that it's freezing asky cold here in Chicago, like a negative one degree with 40 mile winds, right. Yeah, but my mood is actually OK. The closer we get to the end of the holiday, the better I feel. But that's not the point of this MeN aRe TOTALLY FRoM MaRS post here though.

Mr. Manic asks me today if I know where his long underwear is. Of course I do. I wore them last week. They're in the dirty laundry. I tell him they are in the dirty laundry. He retrieves them from the dirty laundry. He puts them on after getting them out of the dirty laundry. And goes outside to shovel, wearing his dirty long underwear.

You sensing a theme here?

After a while he comes back in to get ready for church, and as he's taking off his clothes (NO, this is NOT one of THOSE posts!), here is the conversation that ensues:

He looks at his long underwear as he removes them and then he looks at me and asks:

Him: "Are these dirty?"

Me: "Are you serious?"

Him: "I don't know." Dumb look on his face.


Him: Shrug.

Me: Stare daggers at him.

Him: "What? I don't know." And he continues to pull off the long underwear.



Him: "I don't know! I don't know how you operate things around here."

Me: "I'm not THAT BAD of a HOUSEWIFE!"

Thursday, December 18, 2008


This is one of these free-flowing posts where I have to preface it with: Mom, either don't read, or take a Xanax first, or just don't worry. I'm just venting.

But I have seriously confirmed that I am a proud sufferer of Seasonal Affectation Disorder as we await another freakin' winter severe alert storm here in lovely STUPID ASS CHICAGO, and I am miserable. I discovered I am mostly pretty much miserable all through December, and hate the whole month with a passion. I hate shopping. I get no joy out of it. I hate Christmas music, almost all of it. I hate listening to it in the stores. I hate malls. I hate ... and you know what, I just had a thought, if you're going to Bah Humbug me in the comments, just don't bother, because I never freaking gripe and bitch all that much and share my inner feelings too openly here and I am doing it now because at one point today Diva wanted to go out and play in the fucking snow, and did I mention I hate FUCKING snow, and I just finally said, "Go out, and if you come back sick, I don't care!" I hate gearing them up to go play in that white crap. I hate when they come in drenched and then I have to put all their stuff in the dryer. I hate the noise the dryer makes when all the zippers and buckles hit the inside of the dryer clanging all about inside of it. I hate that at Target on Tuesday I was buying stocking stuffers and a HUGE CART FULL of last-minute crap for THE WHOLE WORLD and this cute little OLD MAN WHO I LET CUT IN FRONT OF ME was buying ONE ROLL OF WRAPPING PAPER.

I said to him, "It must be nice to get to come to Target needing ONLY ONE ROLL OF WRAP!"

I would LOVE to be a MAN during the holiday season, wouldn't YOU!? How about THAT for a holiday movie? Yes! Let's write a holiday movie like Freaky Friday about a man and a woman who get switched on December 1 and the guy gets to do all the crap the woman gets to do FOR THE WHOLE MONTH and the woman can be the guy for the whole month and watch FOOTBALL every Sunday and the guy can go fight the crowds, put up decorations, send out cards of the cute freaking kids (WHICH I DID NOT DO THIS YEAR FOR THE FIRST YEAR IN ABOUT 20 YEARS AND MY KIDS AREN'T EVEN THAT OLD!).


So, at one point this afternoon, I just flat-out screamed in my house: I AM SOOOO CRABBY! Did it make me feel better? I don't know. Is typing this making me feel better? I don't know. My house is a mess. A storm is coming. I am still in my pajamas. I have a shitload of work to do. A kid is coming in here to ask my something for the twelfth-millionth time and if he asks me again I will scream, and now he is tapping his fingers or toes or something and he is beat-boxing with his mouth and if he doesn't just shut the hell up in like two seconds I might just blow a gasket. and that's another thing I wonder sometimes, is how many times in my life have I yelled at the kids, the boys specificially, "STOP TAPPING!" Do your kids do that? Do they just tap and jitter and make unneccessary noise just for the sake of making noise?

I don't know if this is making me feel any better but just the fact that my fingers are moving so fast on the keyboard is helping I think. I wish I could scream through my fingertips. I don't know what I would say but I am sure it would be loud as hell.

I do not get any joy out of the holidays. What is joyful? Do the kids appreciate all the gifts? I don't think so? Do I appreciate the mess I will have to clean up? Do I appreciate having to cook? Do I appreciate ... I don't appreciate any of it.


I told my friend if I could just fast-forward to even just March 1, I will be in a better place. And now I have to end this because the garage door just went up signalling that Mr. Manic is home so I have to go play Nice Wife.


updated: It's 8:43 p.m. Mr. Manic came home with a tin of Garrett's cheese/caramel mixed popcorn. I ate half the can. This made me EXTREMELY HAPPY THE MINUTE I STARTED CHEWING. I am an emotional eater. AND, I am sure I am getting my period for the third time in like 42 days. NOT GOOD.

NOW, it's THE END.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

CooKieS aND PooL BoYS

Like last year's, Cookie Exchange, I had my annual neighborhood drink fest exchange here last Thursday with 35 women. I am just getting around to posting about it because I think the sugar buzz/hangover has finally dissapated. I'm serious. You can get SICK from eating too many cookies. I was sick with flu-like symptoms all weekend long. It was worse than a hangover.

Of course, we drank our Pool Boys, which, for those of you new to Manic Mommy's blog, Pool Boys are GREAT in the summer, GOOD in the winter drinks - champagne, cranberry and a splash of pineapple over ice.

You drink them in SOLO cups and part of the fun is you have to NAME your POOL BOY.

So you have your SOLO cup and it's named, like you write the name on your cup with a Sharpie pen, something like Julio, Roberto, Enrique, Andre, you know, some sexy pool boy name, and throughout the night, there are Pool Boy jokes, like, "Do you need ANOTHER Pool BOY? And "How's that Pool Boy GOING DOWN?" and "Is your POOL BOY getting warm?" "Do you need some ice for your Pool Boy?" or "Can I taste your POOL BOY to see if I want one?"

Oh my Gosh, you know it's pretty pathetic when you're sitting in your house alone writing on your computer cracking up at the words that you're typing because you just are thinking you just might be the funniest person in the world typing about a drink you invented. I kill me sometimes.

So anyway, the cookie party. Pictures. Cuz I know you want to see 'em:

These were the cutest gingerbread cookies!

I made these--break and bakes - I cheated, but then I put candies on top, so I didn't cheat too bad, and hey, I was hosting! And they still taste good!

My front door! I wrap it every year! Isn't it pretty!

The whole assortment!

The one in the middle with the DOVE chocolate in the center has got to be THE BEST COOKIE OF THEM ALL and I probably snuck EIGHT OF THEM! It's a take on the peanut butter with Hershey kisses in the middle. OMG!

I was playing with the cookies and setting up the girls in this photo. It was fun. Of course, I had to save the blue girl for Diva or she'd have a smack-down fit.

These are the boxes we assemble all the cookie assortments into so there is no cookie-grabbin' fights and so we can drink more at the party!

And this is all the wine everyone brought! Isn't it all pretty lined up. Actually, I think that's all that's left over. We had a ton of wine!

And now, I have to go wrap some presents. How is your holiday stress joy shaping up?

Monday, December 15, 2008


Did you enter this contest?

To win this book: Boy Meets Girl!

Well, you can't enter anymore because it's over, so don't, but ...

I had author, Rachel Safier, choose one of the entrants and she chose CHRISTINE of NJ because ... in Rachel's own words:

So many good ones, but Christine's made me saw "Awwww...." out loud, so she's my winner!

Here was Christine in NJ's entry:

Looks like a fab book!... and a wonderful gift! So... I met my soulmate at a bar! He likes to say he "picked me up". ha ha!!! The scandalous truth is... The night we met was suppose to be my wedding night but I called off my wedding only 3 nights before! My girlfriends dragged me out of my house crying to "go have some fun." Needless to say I was pretty grumpy and looked like crap (no make-up OR shower!) and my now hubby simply made me smile with the DUMBEST magic trick ever!!! Even at my darkest moment... I could see what a gem he was! So, I smiled, My girlfriends passed him my number, We married a year later... And we just celebrated our 16th anniversary with our 4 beautiful kids. sniff sniff.

And since we are giving away two books, I assigned every other entrant a random number and then told Mr. Manic to choose a number and he picked 16. And #16 was Michelle who wrote:

I went to Durty Nellie's (the old one) to meet up with a friend of mine from work. For whatever reason, she didn't show. I didn't have a cell at the time (I'm a Luddite, shut up) and so was sitting there fuming for an hour waiting for her. My husband approached and asked why I was so pissed. I'm pretty sure I unloaded on him, but he was undeterred and offered to make my night memorable. And the rest... is history!

So ladies, please send me your addresses and how you would like your copy of BOY MEETS GIRL signed by Rachel and we'll get your books sent to you! Congrats!

And I did not forget I promised to give away a sexy CD from way back when I was doing that sexy challenge.

Well, Kirsten at The Great Lollipop Adventure has won a copy of it, and so has Katy but I don't have any info from Katy other than she is an avid fan of bookstores,(hee hee!) so Katy, if you're reading this and want your CD, email me at manicmommy@comcast.net so I can get you your CD.

And just because 'tis the season, the first person who leaves a comment asking me for the sexy CD, I will send out one more to you!

Friday, December 12, 2008

THe BuLLy oN THe BuS

So, Tukey comes home from school and tells me that a kid in our neighborhood who is also on his bus said a bad word today. I asked him about it.

He said two boys got on the bus. I know these two boys. They’re older than Tukey. They may have a little bit of a reputation of being, I don’t know, not rough, but they both have older siblings and they’ve been around the block.

The nicer of the two asked Tukey if he could sit next to him. Tukey said, in which I hoped was a nice tone, “I kind of want to sit by myself today.” In his defense he is “Star of the Week” in first grade so he’s got a huge tackle box with him that he has to carry and it was probably next to him on the seat. He also had his snow pants and snow boots in another bag so he was probably pretty squished on the seat. I’m sure he was not mean when he said he wanted to sit by himself. He also told me that there were plenty of other seats on the bus.

The kid who asked if he could sit next to Tukey said, “That’s fine,” and went to find another seat.

HOWEVER, the OTHER kid, the one who has not so great of a reputation, did not take too kindly to the situation.

When Tukey got home from school, he began relaying this story to me, and up to this point, he was telling me everything.

“And then, the nice kid went to find his seat but the other kid leaned over by me and said a bad word to me,” Tukey told me.

“What did he say to you?”

I was not expecting the next words to come from my first grader’s tiny little precious mouth:

“He said, ‘Fuck you.’”

I just stood there.

Then I said, “He said that?”



“Are you going to tell his mom? You have to tell his mom!”

And yeah, Diva and Ajers are right there too, saying, “YOU HAVE TO TELL HIS MOM ON HIM!”

My immediate reaction was OF COURSE! I want to tell his mom! I want to run right over there and say, “Do you know what your boy is spewing from his potty mouth? Do you have any idea what kind of words are coming from him? Do you kiss your son with that mouth of his!?!?!?”

But I couldn’t do that! Because then this potty-talking-Eff-Bomb-dropping-no-doubt-lying son would deny he drops the Eff bomb on the bus and then this mom would have it out for me and then I’d be living on Wisteria Lane! And I don’t feel like living the life of a Desperate Housewife right now.

So, I said I would think about it, knowing full well I would NEVER tell the mom that her son is an Eff-Bomb dropper.

However, if this was a close friend of mine, you can bet your sweet ass I’d march right over there and tell her I loved her but her kid was an Eff-Bomb dropper. Fortunately, I don’t know this mom very well.

So, I was still thinking about it, and secretly in a warped way, it kind of cracked me up that my serious little boy had said “fuck you” when he relayed the story to me, but I know it bothered him quite a bit to have someone tell him that.

About two hours later, I went up to him and I said, “I know what you should do next time.”

He said that when the kid said EFF YOU that he had whispered it to Tukey, so obviously, he knew it was bad. I asked Tukey if Tukey was larger than this kid. Tukey said he is about two inches taller than the other kid is, even though he is one or two years older than my Tukey.

I said, “OK, next time you are faced with an incident like this, you look the person in the eye, because first of all, obviously, the kid knew he was doing something VERY WRONG because he was whispering, and he was definitely trying to scare you, and intimidate you, right?”

“Uh huh.”

“You stand up, you look the kid in the eye and you say, loud and clear, “DID YOU JUST SAY THE EFF WORD TO ME?


If he says it with enough conviction and enough gumption and enough strength and sincerity and belief goes behind his words (because come on, you can’t tell me that a second grader saying the EFF word is NOT crazy, right?) then everyone’s gonna believe the kid is crazy! And maybe he’ll second-guess his craziness and stop being such a crazy eff-bomb-droppin’ bully a-hole!

And here’s another thing. No way am I gonna confront his mom.
But you can bet your sweet lovin’ ass that the next time I get my sights on that kid alone, I’m gonna lean right up close to him in his little and lonely personal space and whisper this:

“Hey honey, you ever swear at my kid again, you’re gonna wish you never knew the EFF word existed.”

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

i NeeD To GiVe you SoMeTHiNG

It's been so long since I've held a contest on here, so let's do a giveaway, shall we?

There's this great new book coming out next week by author, Rachel Safier called Boy Meets Girl and that's exactly what it's about -- how couples who fell in love first met each other!

Remember these love stories?

Whether it was love on-line or in-line, in first grade, or hate-at-first sight (or site, if it was via a website -- ha, I am so funny!), the 40 couples in Boy Meets Girl tell about the first time they locked eyes on their soulmates! I've already started reading it and only put it down long enough to email the author to ask her if I could share the book with you guys because I think it's that fab!

And after you check out the book, check out more on Rachel Safier, who lives in DC. Her website will be live soon at www.rachelsafier.com. You can also check out her other site www.theregoesthebride.com and "friend" Rachel on FACEBOOK!

So, if you'd like to win a copy of the book, personalized to you, of course, simply leave a comment on how you met that somebody special, even if he was somebody special back then, but is a raging a-hole now. Hahah! And boy-readers of Manic Mommy, of COURSE you can play too! We can't forget about the three of you!

We'll give away one for the best answer, and one just randomly, so everyone will have a chance to win! And if you don't win, consider this a really charming holiday present to give to anyone you love! What a great gift idea!

And yes, if you're so inclined to do so, you can read how I met my la, la, la, la, la, la, laaaaaaa ... soulmate too ... How Manic Mommy Met Her Soul Mate: A Truly True and Romantically Romantic Love Story.

Bwhahahahaha, I kill me!

Friday, December 05, 2008

Me, a BooB JoB?

EDIT: *as requested--the photo in question updated below --

Two things to bring us into a Merry Manic Weekend:

The first item of importance --

I was shopping at Target this morning when my phone rings and it's my mom, and she doesn't say hello or how are you, or anything.

The first thing out of her mouth:

"Tell me the truth. Did you get a BOOB JOB!?"


I'm like, "First of all, mom, when would I have the TIME TO GET A BOOB JOB and when would I have the TIME TO RECOVER FROM A BOOB JOB? Answer me that? When would I have the TIME?"

And not that I've given it too much thought in my life, but in no particular order of vanity, a boob job would NOT be the first order of cosmetics I would attend to if I had an indispensable amount of money.

The first order of business would be laser hair removal for my upper lip. Which I am seriously considering for the big 4-0. And then probably some ass liposuction, although I think I've mentioned it here quite a few times how much that skeeves me out whenever I've seen that surgery performed on The Discovery Channel, the way that wire piping gets shoved in and out of the layer of skin really fast to break up the fat. Nope, not for me.

Besides, I'm currently working on a bestseller that's gonna rival Nora Ephron's "I Feel Bad About My Neck."

It's called, "I Feel Bad About My Fat Ass."

If she can write a bestseller about the flappy skin on her freaking neck, surely the pockets of flab on my butt are worth some humor, right?

So, I've got to keep my fat ass. At least until I write the book, sell it, and become a millionaire so I can afford the liposuction.

So, NO, mom. I did NOT get a boob job on my FACEBOOK photo. That is just a very nice push-up bra. Thanks for being concerned!

Second order of business.

This is why I don't dust:

I notice some dust up on the light fixture. What do I do? Logic tells me to grab the closest item to me and lean over the banister to swipe at the offending dust strings. So, I do. The closest item just happens to be an undershirt, or as we like to call 'em, a wife beater.

So, it gets stuck up there on the light fixture. I think it makes a nice addition to our holiday decorations, don't you? I don't think it's coming down anytime soon either. I think I might need to find a red and green one too, just for some symmetry and color.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Photo in question - see, nothing major:

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Four Year Blogaversary

Happy Four Years of Manic Mommy to Me today!

Win Some Adorable Children's Books!

These are two of the cutest children's books I've read in such a long time and they've got beautiful messages about the holidays.

Head on over to Betty by clicking HERE to enter to win a set of the two books signed by the author and illustrator husband-wife team! They'll make great holiday gifts for those little elf lovers of yours!

(You'll have to register on the site but it doesn't take long, I promise!)