Wednesday, April 11, 2007


OK, so by now, everyone is familiar with the blockbuster book, The Secret, which I have not yet read, but am a firm believer in the theory that if you will something long enough, and hard enough, and strongly enough, then you can make a difference, you can do what you believe in, you can make it happen!

This morning, case in point, is my story. It is an example of the power of believing:

It’s snowing here. It’s frigidly cold, with pelting little bullets of rain-snow that hit the skylights and clank like nickels dropping from heaven. Or quarters. You get the picture. It’s damp and dreary, and white and gray all mixed together, with no ounce of sun in the weather forecast for days.

I get Diva and Ajers off to school, drenched in the rain-snow, and I yell after them not to run because surely they will slip in this mucky crap and start crying and miss the bus, and dammit all, there is NO.WAY.IN.HELL I want to go out in this weather today. SO DON’T SLIP kids.

I spy two little squiggling earthworms wriggling for the nearest mud hole as I make my way back into the house and upstairs to crawl under the covers and await Tukey’s morning arrival, which is, we all know, one of the grandest moments of my every day!

So, he arrives, and we do our cuddle thing, where I am rolled up into a fetal ball, under the covers, trying to keep myself warm, snuggled up against his nice warm, newly-awakened body, while he’s drinking the extra-extra, chocolately chocolate milk I have waiting for him.

I get an urge.

A coffee urge.

Must have coffee.

Want a latte, maybe even a peppermint mocha, not-fat, three-pumps-peppermint, extra-hot since it’s sooo dang freezing cold. Or even a cinnamon dolce. No matter. I just have the urge for coffee.

I stare at the phone. I start thinking to myself, “Hmmm, I’m going to put that The Secret stuff to work. I am going to will one of my neighbors to call me telling me she is at Starbucks and could she please deliver me a coffee.”

I wait, I squinch my eyes together, my body still encompassed into a ball, trying to keep warm, while Curious George does his stupid monkey talk in the background.

Ring, Dammit! Ring phone.


And it’s a neighbor!

But she doesn’t want to bring me coffee. I don’t think she does anyway, because she called looking to see if I knew of any magicians.

“Dammit woman! If I knew of a magician, I would ask him to magically appear with a nice nonfatsugarfreevanillalatte, no whip, extra hot! I don’t know of any magicians!”

I hang up, not completely discouraged, and begin willing the phone to ring again.


And it’s also a neighbor!

My workout pal. Who tells me I sure did pick a good day to cancel going to the gym and she wonders if I had it planned out all along.

I hadn’t, but there’s no way I’m going to go work out if I can’t even get my butt out of bed to go get a coffee I am desperately trying to will into my home.

However, this neighbor KNOWS A MAGICIAN so she’s going to call my other neighbor to tell her about it. How ironic is that?

So, that’s kind of like The Secret working THROUGH me, if not FOR me. Because I willed the one woman to call me to ask me about the magician, and then the other woman called me KNOWING about the magician. The Secret is working THROUGH ME!

I still don’t have any coffee, but now, Tukey is starving cuz it’s like 10:30 a.m.

We trudge downstairs and I look at the kitchen counter.

We own a coffee maker. While I’ve never, ever used it, I’ve seen it before, and I’ve seen it with coffee in it. I’ve cleaned it many, many times. I’ve just never used it.

“Tukey, I think I might make some coffee, but I’m not sure how to do it.”

“I can show you! I watch Daddy make coffee all the time!”

Joy! Oh Joy!

But then I worry; I am not sure how much coffee to put in. What if I make it too strong? What if I don’t do it right. I start by filling the coffee pot with water from the sink.

Tukey stops me. “Mom, that’s not the way you make the coffee.”


“You need to get the water from the refrigerator. The good water.”

Oh. My five-year-old is teaching me how to make coffee.

I proceed to fill up the pot with the proper water, I find the coffee grains, sands, nuggets, whatever you call ‘em, and I do the best I can to measure how much I think I’ll need.

“Next, you pour the water into that thing, Mom.”

My God, I knew my kid was a genius, but come on! He’s utterly brilliant!

“Turn it on,” he instructs.

I push the button. Stuff starts coming out! We jump up and down!

“We did it! We did it! We are making coffee!” We sing and dance around the kitchen.

After a while, it stops percolating, and then I pour some into a mug. Then I pour a ton of that creamer stuff, the French vanilla flavor, into my cup.

It’s still not right.

Then I put a scoopful of that “sister-friend coffee” stuff into it; you know, the kind you drink with your sister, the kind that is like magical moments coffee… what the hell is it called? General Foods International…

(I had to get up to go look at the container!)

So, I pour some of that in, then mix it all up and taste it.

It’s yummy. It’s warm. It’s good! And I’m buzzed! It’s taken me all of two minutes to type this up. I am jazzed up on coffee I made all on my own (OK, with the help of a five-year-old!).

And then I realize that The Secret is absolutely true to some extent. That if you want something bad enough in life, you have to really, really, really want it, and you have to believe that you will get it.

Now, I didn’t get my coffee in the original manner I was hoping for, but, with the belief that I would have coffee, and the belief in my ability to get things in life that I want… well, you see where I’m going with this?

If you desire something so tremendously, and you concentrate on that desire, and you believe in that desire, knowing you can get it someday, and if you can’t get it the way you originally thought you might want it, then you just have to come up with a new, original, interesting way to achieve your goals.

So, yes, I did get my coffee. And it probably tasted way better than if I had just gone to Starbucks to get one. Because I worked hard at getting the coffee. I thought outside of the coffee box!

But most importantly, I believed.

I believed in the coffee.

I believed in me and in my abilities to have that coffee, no matter what it took, no matter how hard it was to get that coffee. I willed it to happen. It happened.

Do you see where I’m going with this?

This is all an analogy for my writing, and the will and the desire and the belief that someday, if I can’t get out to Starbucks to make my dreams of writing become a reality, I will make it happen eventually. It will happen, somehow, some way, some day.

And that is because I believe.

Ah, the powers of The Secret... Which basically means, Believe In Yourself.
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IT'S STILL NOT TOO LATE TO ENTER THE MANIC MOMMY VOLUME I CD CONTEST. Simply go here: (ENTER TO WIN!)and leave a comment. You do not need to have a blog to enter, just make sure you've left your name so I can announce the winners.


Rusty Nails said...

Check out this gents commentary on The Secret:

(Ignore the title, you don't suck). Now, about this coffee dependency you have and the prior lack of knowledge on how to make the stuff...that's like a heroin addict not knowing how to cook his smack and use a syringe. As a fellow coffee dependent soul, I recommend this if you're in a real hurry: I call it "Poor Mans Mocha" 1 tsp instant coffee, 1 packet hot chocolate, add hot water, stir. Add in some vanilla flavor and a splash of milk. Stir again. Enjoy. Not quite up to standards with a real latte'/ mocha but it does in a pinch.

xxxx said...

You are SO FUNNY!!! I could totally picture the whole thing and I was CRACKING UP! I love this post!!!

Piddler said...

I find about a heaping teaspoon for a regular size cup of coffee (not the miserly marks for a cup marked on the coffee pot)is about right.

Good for you and Tukey for persevering.

Christy_Ann said...

Please!... the only reason I get out of bed every morning is so I dan drink coffee. PS: we also have a coffee machine and no, I'VE never used it.

Kari Lee Townsend said...

LOL!! Love this post. And I am a coffee dependent myself.

F. D. Davis said...

You are too funny. I love this. It also show what a talented writer you are. I'm linking you to my blog.


Stephanie J. Blake said...

Hilarious. I drink coffee too, but don't really know how to make it. My hubby makes it every morning before he leaves. (Our machine has a carafe.) Sometimes he is a pig and drinks most of it, and I have to go to Starbucks to get a fix.

I hear you on the writing/ publishing stuff. It will happen. It is just a matter of time.

Patience, baby!

BamaGirl said...

I had to laugh at how crazy you are! Good crazy, but still crazy!
It's been nice to be off drugs (caffiene) since I got pregnant 18 months ago. I feel less freaked out in the morning. Plus, who has time to even stop to drink something when you have a 9 month old learning to walk?

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, can't make coffee, no ironing board. What is this 2007? And why the heck am I still living in 1958? LOL!


Angel said...

God, I don't even drink coffee but after reading that, I want some! I also have a coffee maker built right into my microwave....never made coffee but I DO know how to make hot water for tea!

I gotta go check out this contest thingie.....

The Anti-Wife said...

When I was much younger, I was told that when you pray or ask the universe for something you should always add the phrase "or something better". The theory was, sometimes we don't really know what's best for us and while we might be in the ballpark with our requests, we might not be asking for the right thing.

Your experience demonstrates this. You asked for Starbucks and ended up getting coffee and having a wonderful learning experience with your 5 year old.

I personally have been asking for George Clooney or something better for quite a while. Nothing yet except a bunch of Elmer Fudds, but I keep you posted.

Drewpy Drew said...

Hey Manic, long time no write.

You need to come out here to Seattle. You can't walk 20 feet without running into an espresso stand. I think Starbucks is planing to open a store in every one's kitchen.

BTW - I'm all for positive thinking...But the reason you got coffee was because you put your nose to the grindstone and did something about it. Things don't just fall in peoples laps. You have to do some work to make it happen.

I hope I'm not being a wet blanket here, but I hate the "Something for nothing" attitude in this country. Wow, Time for me to get off the soap box. by itself, if not accompanied by action, is dead.

- James 2:17 NIV

Jenster said...

I tried The Secret on my rash. It hasn't worked yet. I tell myself, "My rash is going away and I don't itch." What am I doing wrong, O, Wise One?

Seriously, though, I do like your analogy. And I know you're eventually going to be published and I can't wait!

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Jenster, I wouldn't advertise that rash too much!!! Ha, but I did love your cheer you shared with us.

Have you tried an aveeno bath, or maybe a percoset to numb the pain?

Memphis said...

A daughter named Diva. That makes me laugh. Unless that's her real life name in which case I just stuck my smelly old foot in my mouth.

Jenster said...

Okay. It's not that kind of rash! LOL It's some kind of allergic reaction, I think.

Actually it seems to be going away. Another day or two and I'll have to come up with a new cheer.

Senor Beavis said...

- I loved that coffee.
- I loved that waiter.
- ...JEAN-LUC!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know why, but coffee always tastes better out of my own coffee maker than from Starbucks. Somehow it's less acidic. Although if you're in the Chicago area on a Saturday morning, I'll hook you up with some free Starbucks (weekend job). Happy birthday, stranger!

Monnik said...

This is a great post. I, too, could visualize it, and I've never met you! Good writing.

I'm also a coffee addict, but I live on the plain stuff that I make every night before I go to bed. When I wake up in the morning, it's magically there for me, thanks to the timer function on my coffeemaker. Starbucks is a treat for me, but one I usually indulge in a few times a week.

Monnik said...

jenster, if it's any consolation, I also have an itchy rash. An allergic reaction to soap. I'm afraid someone's going to catch me scratching my ass cheek.

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Senor B--I am totally going to be in Chicago this weekend but not Saturday a.m.!!! Are you working Sunday a.m.--I may have to stagger in there all hungover and looking glam!!!

Jenster and Monnik, you guys are making me itch!

Drew Stranger Hello!!!

Senor Beavis said...

Sorry, I only work Saturdays (Wrightwood and Racine). Sunday's my lonely day off (the day off is lonely, not me) where I cook and watch sports and accost dogs at the dog park and try to do the NYT sunday crossword with a friend. Yeah, I live the high live.

Frannie Farmer said...

Absolutely must have coffee every morning. Even when I feel icky - gotta have it.
Happy Birthday My Aries Friend!!
Enjoy your day (weekend ...)

Jess Riley said...

That's hilarious. If you will the coffee to happen, it does!

PS, happy birthday this weekend!!!

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Senor Beavis--sounds like a perfect way to spend a Sunday!

Frannie and Jess--thanks for the birthday wishes!!! I'm trying to be upbeat about it. Not that I get bummed out about getting older...