T-Minus Fifty-Eight Hours

But who's counting, really?

Who really cares that school starts on Monday?

Me! Me! Me! Me!

And not even because I'm sick of my kids. Cuz I'm not, really. We've had a great summer vaca. Did the pool thing, the beach thing, the movies thing, the car wash thing, the vacation thing, the grandparents thing, we're doing the sleep-over thing tonight (what am I? Crazy!).

But it's time.

And it's time because I need to get my life back into routine, order, calmness. This week I decided our garage was too messy so I spent all day Monday cleaning it out, wiping down racks, tossing old shoes, smacking down spider webs, lining up bikes and roller blades and scooters and skateboards. It felt really good to have things in order, which lasted about, oh, a day-and-a-half before all the shit was thrown everywhere again.

It was like I was nesting like women do before they give birth. I have just felt the need to clean stuff. Get out the clutter, because the new clutter of school books, library books, homework, school supplies, backpacks, lunchboxes, pages and pages of notes and forms and assignments come flying through the door, with no place to put it all.

It overwhelms me to no end.

I still have stuff in the corner of the dining room I put there when school got out in June. I think I have to go through all of that tomorrow.

I just want the clutter to be gone.

And when school starts up again, so does the dreaded D I E T that I'm always on. With school back in session, this will mean no more impromptu trips to Cold Stone, the pizza place that has slices as big as your head and then some. The slurpee runs, the cookie store. It will mean my kids won't be eating and begging and asking for snacks all day long so it won't be around. I won't say, "Oh, let's just drive through McDonald's and grab a burger." I will be saving money and calories! I will have some free time at least four days a week to go for much-needed walks while the weather is still nice. I will have time to lie on my precious living room couch, where the sun shines through the windows and I pretend I'm a cat lounging in the quiet of my house; where I jolt myself awake when I hear the sound of the bus wheels turning onto our street. I can't wait for that.

And, as I say with each turn of schedule, each entry into the new routine, I make promises to myself: Write more. Eat less. Walk more. Sleep more normal hours. If only someone could come into my house and say, "Look this is the schedule you need to keep on a daily basis if you want to accomplish the things you want to accomplish in life. You'll have to wake and walk at 6 a.m. You'll have to do laundry. You'll have to cut down on the blogging and surfing and farting around on stupid sites that suck you in for hours at a time (not yours, of course! I love yours!). You'll have to give some thought on family meals because your family needs to eat each night, but you'll want to make them healthy if you want to lose some of that weight you've put on. You'll need to sit your ass in that chair in front of your computer and stop clicking on interesting things and just write if you want to be a writer. You do want to be a writer, don't you? You do want to be a good mother don't you? You do want to make sure you have clean clothes for your family don't you? You do want to eat healthy and exercise more so you don't turn into a fat, lazy, slob, DON'T YOU?"

Yes, I want all of these things.

And on Monday, hopefully I'll get my ass in gear.