LIVE from my Trip, Completely Unedited for Your Enjoyment...

So, this relaxing thing is pretty cool. And as a preface to this popst, oops,already. Pleae excuse thetypos as for one, I am typing on my neo by alphasmart and the keyboard is really small. Second, ih’ve had two glasses of wine and that’s coming off a Xanax buzz from the flight, which I didn’t hthink affected me all that much, but once I arrived, I threw on the resort’s #$110 robe if I desicre to purchase it, and slammed my head onto the luxuruios bed. I didn’t wake untl two hours later, when hubby was banging on the door, done with his meetings, and trying to get back into the room, but ever-so cautious me, I put the extra lock on the door. You never know who might be lurking.

So man, I HAVE TO say the .50 Zanax hit me hard, and usually I boast they do not affect me, but ever since 9/11 I will not travel without my trusty orange pals. They keep me grounded, pun intended, cuz for crying out loud, I’m on a plane, definitely NOT GROUNDED, but nonetheless, I felt safe for the most part.

So, brave me, secure mother of three away from her precious children for four nights, five days, decided to sit at the bar.

Alone.

Now, really, this is a hard thing to do sober. However, by the time the second $10.25 glass of wine arrived, I was best friends with everyone! The firefighters who are here for a commander conference, who, I have to say, even if you’re not a good looking firefighter, and again, this is no pun intended, okay maybe it is intended, but no matter what, firefighters are HOT! No question about it. They are all about saving people from burning buildings.How can you not be attracted to that?

So, I told myself, “one glass of wine, then I’ll go up to the room and order room service. Just be brave and have one glass of wine at a bar by yourself to prove you can do it.

One glass, plus the after-affects of a .5 milligram or whatever xanas taken at eleven, pre-flight, and I was golden.

Brave me decided to order an appetizer to eat at the bar so whoever wanted to could watch a thirty-somethingchick at a bar eat alone. I did it. I got some tenderloin and pepper jack cheese quesadillos and ate them in public, with other epoeple there. Now you might think this was a what do you call it, a hangup of mine, but I dojn’t know. How many ofyou are cool with eating in public alone, and I don’t mean coffee and a scone at starbucksl, It does take some guts, some innersomething to makebelieve you are self-confident enough and secure enough to be out by yourself, eating and drinking. It’s one thing to go to a movie by yourself, when you feelself-concsiousl for about two mintues until the lights go down and you’re immersed in the previews, but do publicly be like,”Hey, I’m okay, and I’m going to eat and have a couple glasses of win andenjoy myself, BY MYSELF. Well, I might have reached a turning point.

I got ta talk to some nice people, and there were mostly men there, including the hot, but not so hnot in inreal life, but they were firegighters, firefighters, andt ehn a cute little girl came up and sat next to me. I feel comfortable enough striking up a conversation with a girl, plus I felt I had an ally. Shit, we were the only girls in the bar. She and I talked, and because of the wonder twin girl power, we even had some conversations with other men, one who boasted to me that it was great to have a 22 year old son, because he would come home to a pool-full of Hooters chicks.OK. That’s something to strive for.

So, it’sday one in Phoenix. My new friend originally from Thailand, now from Calif, who is visitng her dad, who works for the same company as hubby… well, she and I are going to do yoga tomorrow, and then, get this, onFriday, we are going on a mountain hike. How cool. I don’t think I’ve ever climbed a mountain in my life

Go girl.

I’m out, for the night, but will be posting regularly so see you when I check in tomorrow.
Oeace out.

Okay, it’s tomorrow, well almost two days later if you look att eh clock cuz it’s almost past midnight, but never mind, and no, I am not intoxicated, merely trying to navigate my way through this neo alphasmart, and really , it I were that buzzed, would I be able to formulate the phrase, “navigate my way through” and use punctuation. OK, regardlysss, and yes, Iocmpletely know I’m amking mistakes, but Hey, I’m not pretending to be someone I’m not so here’s what you get. Don’t like it? You’re just a click away to saying adios to Manic Mom. Ooh, I was excited to see I spelled Manic correctly.

This a.m. hubby awoke and got ready for his all day confrecne, and I read a little bit, this is at 7 a.m. which is really 9 in Chicago. Then I decided, hey’, it’s vacation and I feel like napping some more. So I went back to sleep around 8 a.m., woke at 9 with a start (don’t ya just hate that phrase, “With a start?!” Dumb.

I awoka and realized it’e 9 and I am supposed to meet my new friend Tak at the
Café for coffee before we do yoga. I call her and tell her I will be a little late, rush out there and meet up with her at 9:15.

Here in Arizone, they don’t have FRAPS at Starbucks, rather these things called Dream Ice, which looks really silly on the cup because the words are combined so you think you are drinkgin MICE,… dreamice. Not a ogod marketing plan, but what I thik about anyway.

We do yoga and it’s so relaxing and I am only thinkgnin about myself and not feeling any guilt about it bedcause, dammit, I deserve this! I am raisigng three beautiful kids but when is the last time I have spent THIS MUCH TIME ALONE? All by myself? And I love it. At the end of youga, the instructor read something from Ralph Marston, called Living IN Excellence, and I had to type that right now so I can remember to look it up on the internet. It was so profound, about being excellent, and having a passion that you’re passionate about and I kept thinking, I am so passionate about writing.

I know I will be sore tomorrow from the yoga, it was a great class.

After yoga, I ventured to the café where I discovered, “OH MY GOD, they have the internet inPhoenix, so I checked my emails, saw all the nice things you all said about my queer little rap song, and made the promise that if I do sell my book, I will give away full size candy bars at my readings cuz I cannot dance like that author andrea S who one of you mentioned dances at her readings. Next best thing, free chocolate. Maybe I’ll also take requests to find out which page I should read from.

Speaking of full size candy bars, I snagged onefrom theimin bar last night and it’s a milky way and I only ate half last night so I’m gonna taek a bite now. Except there are Godiva chocolates on the bed, because, they have TURN DOWN SERVICE HERE. This means, if you want, they will come and turn down the bed sheets for you.

Since hubby and I hit the pool during his free time today, and had a few margs, of course, we needed to “Nap” later in the day so the bed was all mussed up, so Icalled for turn down service. Now it’s almost midnight and the bed is all made upnice ready for me to climb into.

I love it. Candy bar break, please hold.

Yum, thank you.

Anyway, after yoga, I went to the café and got on the computer, checked my emails, and ordered a fab sandwich of shaved tenderloin, peppers, asiago cheese and some yummy sauce on great bread, accompanied with tortolini salad that was yum, and a dill picklet that I did not eat because I hate pickles. Once, In tenth grade, I got a sandwich in the cafeteria at lunch, bit into it, withough checking and nearly puked that I had half a pickle slice in my mouth. Never again. But I digress

The lunch was yum, then I discovered they made homemade cookies that were seriously the size of your head, and were selling for ONLY $2.49, which was amazing to me that it was so cheap at a la-di-dah resort. I got one, double, major choc chip, thinking I would share with hubby later, or save some. Nope, at the whole freaking thing.

Tummy hurt afterward, but well worth it.

Poolside time where I finished Eye Contact, the book, did not enjoy all that much. Not a good mystery. Didn’t have me afraid to turn the pages.

Then Nap, then hub had to go to his work dinner. I decide that I’m going to live OUTSIDE THE BOX once again, and I decide that I am not going to be a chicken and order in room service, but I’m going out into the world, to a restaurant and eat a nice meal all alone.

Now as I mentioned, going to the movies is one thing, diningn in a restuarent, on your own, completely different. But I did it!
And it was fun, and I felt confident, and I tasted each bite of my food, which was angel hair pasta with sun dried tomatoes, basil, garlic, olive oil and parm cheese. And two glasses of Sonoma Coutrer wine.

I tried to be like Stephahie Klein and really tast the food, feel the texture, enjoy each bite, and I did, the sharpness of the cheese, the tang of the tomoatoes, . I ate alone. I wondered if restaurarnts have a section where they put alone people so they don’t’ feel so alone, because I ended upat a booth which I requested, that was sort of out of the way, and then this nice lady was in a booth across theway. We should have dined together. She asked if my food was good, we chit-chatted, I told her it was wonderful and this was the first time I’ve dined out at a nice place all alone. I felt brave, like this is one of those things I can mark off my list of thingst o do but maybe I’m a little bit scared to do. That’s done. I did it.

Tomorrow, I am supposed to climb the mountain with my new friend Tak, but now her plans have changed so she can’t go. I am going to do it by myself, with the guide, whose name is Chip. I am going to do it because I want to climb a mountain in RArizona and I waqnt to be able to say, “I climbed a fucking mounting. How couol would athtat be.

So, that’w what I’m going to do, and no, believe it or not, I am not drunk, but it is very difficult to type on the neo alphasmart keyboard because the keys are just a little bit tighter than the regular keyboard.

Tomoorrow Mountain. Will be back. I can’t wait. This is another “Mark off the list of tings to do” activity.

Peace out from Arizone. And I wish I would have asked any of you who lived this way if you would have wanted to have dinner with me, not that I didn’t mind dining alone, but I always love the opportunity to meet blogging pals

Let’s just title this one: I CLIMBED ME A MOUNTAIN AND NOW I HAVE TO THROW UP. More later, except by the time I post all this, it won’t really be ‘more later’ cuz all you’ll have to do is keep reading, but right now I am going to crawl into this huge big puffy bed, and sleep for about six hours. Oh My God, people climb mountains just for the sheer joy of it, and here I am thinking, how am I not gonna blow chunks right now. If you could see how red my face is, well, I would have taken a post-mountain climbing photo, but hubby needed the camera for some work thing, and by the way, hubby did not climb the mountain with me. It is called Squaw Peak Mountain, near Camelback Mountain, and did you know Squaw Peak is a derogatory word because if you said what it really is called, it should be called SLUT Mountain, cuz apparently that’s what a Squaw is. I’m just sayin’. Now, to pass out. Be back later, hopefully, but if I die, at least I climbed a freaking mountain. I feel so Julia Andrews right now

5:30
Okay, so nobdody ever told me that climbing a mountain kicks your ass! Okay, maybe just Manic’s ass, but here it is 5:30, and I napped, slept almost all day. I got back from the climb around 10:30, and got a call from the school, telling me Ajers was sick with a stomach cramp; without getting into it, he’s fine, my dad took him to the doc, so no worries there.

Anyway, mountain hiking. Seemed like a great idea at the time. I was all like, “I can’t have another glass of wine, I have to climb a mountain tomorrow!”

It was cool, not climatically speaking, because it’s Arizona, so I mean that in a ‘it was neat’ kinda way, but I guess it is a little cooler than regularly around this time of year cuz it rained both nights so far, but around midnight so didn’t affect me at all.

Okay, not sure where this is going, just wanted to say while I think it’s great I climbed a mountain, I am going to be in serious pain tomorrow, and I had a RAGING terrible headache afterward, and felt like I could puke so I bet I had heat stroke. Ha, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. If I had done yoga or something a little less strenuous today instead of climbing Slut Peak Mountain straight freaking up 1.25 miles, then maybe I wouldn’t have passed out and slept all day. But hey, I did it. Cross CLIMB BIG MOUNTAIN AND SURVIVE off my list!