1. Where did Manic Mom go?
a. She attended a writer’s conference and got shitfaced with Swishy and Jess
(Oh wait, that was in April)
b. She went out west to check out colleges Ajers is considering attending
(One can never start too soon)
c. She went crazy, but decided to do it out of state
d. Who the hell cares? It was nice not hearing her bitch about her children, the weather, lack of sleep, martinis, and her agent quest for five glorious days!
2. She was in:
a. New Mexico
3. Which of the following did Manic do on her trip:
a. Woke up at 6:30 a.m. to hike this mountain
b. Picked up firefighters in the bar
c. Ate with chopsticks without too much embarrassment
d. Had dinner alone in a restaurant
e. Didn’t have to worry if the door was locked or not
f. Almost got kicked out of the hot tub
h. Got heat stroke
i. Ate a chocolate chip cookie as big as her head
j. Drank just one or two appletinis
k. Stole the hotel bathrobe that sells for $110
l. All of the above
m. None of the above
n. Some of the above
4. How many grandenonfatsugarfreelattes did Manic enjoy on her trip?
d. With whip or without?
e. Are you kidding? It was a vaca, she ordered Ventis!
5. How many Xanax did she take before her flight?
a. None, she was as relaxed as could be!
b. A handful of two-fives
c. One fiver.
d. The whole freaking bottle.
6. The mountain Manic climbed was recently renamed because the original name translated to:
a. Indian Hill
b. Eagles Summit
c. Slut Mountain
d. Native Crest
e. There’s no way SHE climbed a mountain!
7. While Manic was gone, which children did these things?
a. Threw up in Dominick’s but thankfully not in the back of Daddy’s car.
b. Played his first football game
c. Lost his first football game
d. Did not accept $25 bucks from grandparents to pull the Nanny McPhee tooth that has been hanging on for dear life since JUNE!
e. Went to the school nurse and then had to go to the doctor because of a stomach cramp
f. Missed their parents
g. Said, “Bring me back a present but not a t-shirt or clothes”
8. The best thing she ate on vacation was:
a. an avocado, tomato, cheese sandwich on 12-grain grilled bread at
The Cowboy Club
b. angel hair pasta with basil, tons of garlic, roasted tomatoes, olive oil
c. Sonoma Cutrer wine
d. The above-mentioned cookie-as-big-as-her-head
e. a shaved tenderloin sandwich with tri-color peppers, asiago cheese and some other good stuff
f. the spicy beef shredded burrito she shoved down her throat in the airport before the plane ride home
9. Did Manic and her husband:
a. Take a Pink Jeep Tour in Sedona?
b. Celebrate someone’s 38th birthday?
c. Get some nookie?
d. Take daily naps?
e. Drink margaritas poolside?
f. Drink Prickly Pear margaritas at The Cowboy Club?
g. Drink chardonnay at The Grill?
h. Drink martinis at Zen 32?
10: Overall Manic Mom
d. had a great time with hubby
e. missed her babies
f. already wants another vacation as Tukey is home from school barfing today.