This friend calls me up regarding another friend and it’s something little, but I wonder if everyone can relate. It’s a spousal thing, so men, you may want to click onto something else, like one of those Fantazee Sports sites or something. And yes, it’s a rant.
So, this friend wakes up the other morning to a note from her husband written on her cell phone bill and summary. It has something snarky written on it about her going over her monthly minutes and wow, she must be a busy executive, or something like that. I don’t know for sure the exact wording, but I think you get the gist of it by just what I’ve written above.
The thing is, my friend said the bill wasn’t even OVER the usual monthly amount because she must have had rollover minutes or something so like what was the big deal? Was her husband just trying to be mean, or snarky, or FUNNY for God’s sake, or was he trying to put her in her place telling her she’s NOT a busy executive and she doesn’t need to be making 1000+ phone calls in a month’s time. And it wasn’t like February with twenty-something days… October hath thirty-one!
A busy executive: Did that husband know what she did all day long? Does any man KNOW what a mother does do in a 24-hour timeframe? I, for one--just last night--was up doing a ton of stuff, and it kills me when I’m finally tucking the kids in (because Mr. Manic had a work dinner because he is usually great and a total hands-on dad) and they want to cuddle yet I can’t because I still have two hours of straightening, and cleaning, and laundry, and lunch-making, and check-writing, and organizing, and freelancing, and … UGH!
Did this snarky note-writer know all of the things his cell-phone using wife had done the whole day? That she probably had all of his laundry clean and put away, that she did all the homework with the kids, that she fed the family… yadda yadda yadda…
I’ve been there. Why is it that husbands sometime feel the need to pull their wives back a bit. Like, “Me caveman, she getting too much freedom, must yank her hair and bring her down back in cave.” Why be like that? How does that help anyone?
I know this woman. I know it made her feel lousy. Cuz it woulda made me feel lousy. I can imagine her coming down the stairs on a bright sunny morning, having had a good night’s sleep, being in a good mood, happy to have such a nice life, a great family, her health, ready to make a cup of coffee and start in on the piles of stuff we moms must start in on. And then I imagine she finds this “busy executive” snark-note and it plummets her mood. I imagine she starts snapping at her kids, to hurry up and eat, to brush their teeth, to put their lunches in their backpacks, get their shoes on and get out the door for the bus. I imagine she makes her little one a chocolate milk, goes to her computer and cries a bit as she writes this post.
I didn’t mean to say that. But I can’t help it. And I don’t care if my mom reads this and gets upset because I’m upset for like 10 minutes of my day. I’m allowed to be upset. I’m allowed to be mad at my husband. I’m allowed to have feelings.
I am a busy
In yoga the other day… SCREECH! Don’t get me started—Going to yoga is just too frivolous! I shouldn’t even admit to going to yoga because ‘busy executives’ should not HAVE TIME to go to yoga!
But, our instructor mentioned someone once said that before you say something, you should ask yourself three things:
Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it necessary?
Yes, it was true that I went over my minutes.
No, it was not a kind note (even with the added smiley face and I LOVE YOU, I felt there was an underlying message, obviously).
And no. It was not necessary.