Monday, December 28, 2009


In a perfect world, these would be my resolutions:

I would sleep ONLY between the hours of 10:00 pm and 7 am. This basic 9 hour regimen would alleviate the need for my mid-day naps on my ever-so comfy couch, but considering Mr. Manic surprised me with a Westin Heavenly King-Sized bed for Christmas, maybe 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep on a Westin Heavenly is all I would need. However, I severely doubt it as I can take a 13-hour nap on the crappy Sam's Club Hellish Bed I have been sacrificed on for the past 10 years. YES, I HAVE been sacrificed on THAT bed. Many, many times.

I would go to the gym between 8 am and 9:30 am M through Friday. Sin Falta. That means, "without fail" buddy.

I would toss in a load of laundry daily, dry it, fold it and put it away, whittling down my laundry situation to one load a day.

I would eat breakfast daily, something healthy, which would stave off hunger to a mid-day healthy snack, then a healthy lunch, an afternoon snack, a healthy dinner, and then an after-dinner snack, (you know, the eat-five-small-healthy-meals-a-day plan) thus bringing us to bedtime at 10 pm.

I would spend the extra hours at home NOT on Facebook or Twitter and instead focus on the book I started three years ago, and finish that bastard of a novel FINALLY.

At 2:45 when the bus roared home, I would completely go into Mommy Mode and forget the internet ever existed. I would focus on homework, after-school activities, the joy my children bring into my life and into my heart.

I would cook a home-style meal. We would find time to sit around the table and explore each others' days and lives. It would be a JOYOUS and MOMENTOUS evening, EACH AND EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! The children would shower me with accolades! "Mommy! Where did you learn to make such delicious foods! How did you find the TIME?" Husband would look into my eyes with a love he had never known before. He would ask, "Where is the woman I married?"

I would say, "She was thrown out with the Sam's Club bed."

We would all laugh and know there was nothing of the sort and the next night, thankfully, there would be Hamburger Helper and bagged salad for dinner.

Yes, thank God there is no perfoct world, and no resolutions to be kept!


DoesThisBlogMakeUsLookFat? said...

Perfecto! Happy New Year. :)

Michelle said...

Oooo that bed sounds heavenly. I've been ummm sleeping on a bed I bought in 1997. And I don't think it was expensive then. I don't know what I would do if I had a bed such as you describe. Although wow, that life you describe sounds so nice. At least most of it ;)

Rachel said...

I would have to echo your gym "perfect world" resolution. And probably some of your others, too.

melissa said...

right on!
i don't do resolutions. it is just another list that i forget to look at.

Brandy said...

So glad we don't live in that world lol!! Happy New Year!!

Kim Rossi Stagliano said...

That's the title for your memoir: "Hamburger Helper and Bagged Salad." Perfection is highly overrated, oversought and underwhelming. Here's to imperfect kids and spouses and ourselves and our crazy mixed up what the hell were we thinking this is NOT what I thought it would be but damn if I'm not happy lives. Happy 2010!

Unknown said...

Absolultely sounds perfect. And I love the picture you have at the top of your blog!!!

sarah Pekkanen said...

Oh, me too! I totally relate. I do none of those things. But I am a champion napper...

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Our new bed arrives on Monday--can not wait!

Kim, love that I should make that the title of my memoir--think Hamburger Helper would sponser me?

Bina--thanks! I like the new look on my blog too!

Sarah--I am a QUEEN napper! Love it!

Happy New Year to you all!

xxxx said...

FINISH that bastard of a novel, so I can read it please!!! :)

(OK, I want to re-do my blog but I am scared. How did you do it? How do I change back? Let's chat.)

Happy New Year!!!! :) Love you!

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

OMG SWISH! I wanna call you! You home today?

Mrs4444 said...

OMG. This is hilarious. I'd tell you how much I relate, but then I'd feel ashamed. Way too funny.

And I LOVE our king-sized Tempurpedic bed; love, love, love it.